QUESTION FOR THE GIRLS

[JLR1976]

how many of the ladies who advertise themselves as bi curious on here are genuinley bi curious, or doing it just to please a boyfriend.

I am asking simply because of the nature of some of the adverts and by some of the replies I have got from private messages from ladies on here. i don't want to say any more than that until i get a few point of views

[julie]

...i am a bisexual woman identifying as a 5 on the Kinsey scale. my male sexual partner also identifies himself as a 5. sometimes this makes life complex. sometimes it makes life interesting. we are who we are. our sexuality is how we first met, something we have in common that provides an empathic foundation for a deep and trusting but not necessarily monogamous friendship.

i feel saddened for women feeling pressurised by their boyfriends to engage in stuff they are not comfortable with. this is a very different experience to personally identifying as bisexual... and is a scenario i suspect i would be unlikely to find myself engaged in... simply because any hesitation on a womans part would quickly become apparant just through general 'getting to know you' introductions.. if it wasnt already pretty suspect just through how their profile is worded.

i am only interested in women a similar age to me, who are their own women with a story to tell. bicurious is great but it has to come from them.. not some pushy boyfriend who gets horny at the thought of watching two women together... those men i perceive as really very sad folk who really need to get a life rather than trying to manipulate other peoples lives.

julie :female:

[JLR1976]

i feel saddened for women feeling pressurised by their boyfriends to engage in stuff they are not comfortable with.


ou are correct, but that is the feeling i am getting with a couple of the replies I have got so far through private messages on here.
I am not at all comfortable with the thought of carrying out a sexual act with a person without their full unconditional consent. but I get the feeling a few of them are being pushed. I am not interested at all in meeting up with any girls who bring a straight boyfriend in tow.

[TorontoGuy2007]

on other sides i frequent, there does seem to be a large quantity of teenage girls who claim they are bisexual and do so because it's cool or it's stylish..

obviously, style has nothing to do with sexual orientation. it does seem that girls out there are proclaiming themselves bisexual when they may in fact not be. it is sad what peer pressure is doing out there to the teens of today. it seems to get worse every decade!

and i agree, it seems casual sex activities involving 3 or more people is happening more at the teen age group than ever before.. not good!

[darkeyes]

Am in 2 minds about this one. Do think there is some peer pressure for young girls 2 say they r bi, but am wondering just how much thats the case.. have talked 2 lots of young girls at pubs an clubs an lots really r sincere bout believin they r wot they say they r. Its maybe just the fact that its a passing thing but am actually unsure of the answer. Sure some may fall by the way and end up callin themselves str8, maybe even most. I see it as a positive development for bisexuality and not 2 b criticised 2 much if at all. Kids experiment. Gods knows I did when in me teens, and who r we 2 slag em off for it? Maybe just maybe what we r seeing is girls finally tellin the world sod u...I am me an I will live an luv as I wish not as u tell me. Whether there is any such movement among lads me cant say for sure but do think there is some...not as much but do think its there. Whatever peer pressure exists is having the opposite effect on boys as it always has. But mayb at last we have a teen generation who can truly shape their future as they wish it 2 b.

With regard 2 casual sex and 3 in a bed romps its hypocritical of me 2 have a go at teens for doing exactly as I was at the same age. Personally I think its not the sex we should be frowning on, but the fact that far 2 many teenagers r badly educated about sex, disease and contraception, and more the consequences of pregnancy, not just the having of a child but the life of drudgery and poverty they can all 2 often expect as a single teenage parent, and the massive difficulties they will face pulling themselves out of it for at least as long as they themselves have been alive! The worst effects are normally felt by the girls who fall pregnant in their teen years. But boys are not exempt entirely and many still end up married young wife young baby and usually before long babies, or with child support payments which often deprives them of the will to make a real go of their lives. Too many others escape almost scott free by hook or by crook, and it is not them who bear the stigma of being a single parent but the young mother. Both sexes should be educated in school and at home not against sex, but to take a more responsible attitude to their sex lives and their sexual health, and made to realise the consequences of acting sexually without that responsibility.

[CrimsomxxDesires]

One of my ex-boyfriends tried to pressure me into doing something with a girl. I wasn't aware of my bisexuality back then so I was obviously disturbed by this and told him to fuck off about that.

While I was on my period of being bi-curious, I was pressured into being fully straight again because my friends thought I was being silly with this whole curiosity thing. I finally found myself, realized I am bisexual, and let it go.

Point is, pressure is a powerful thing but as far as I go, I tried to never let it make my decisions :)

[onewhocares]

Well, ok to be honest, I have tried to be with a woman. I wanted it to work, I really did, but to be honest, it was not my forte. I was SO SO SO lucky as I happended to become involved with a wonderful woman who was a "friend" of a man on this site. I happened to be going to that part of the world and thought that I would look him up. I got in contact with her as a favor to the fellow. Well turns out she is a most wonderful and amazing woman. Beautiful, smart and wanting a woman. I thought that it could be me. Well as it turns out, it was not ME. As we were making love I kept thinking, this is wonderful only it should be a man who is here with me. Ok, over and done. Only problem is that I, in order to hurt her feelings, NEVER told her that being bi curious was NOT for me. When trying to save her feelings, only hurt her more. I had no idea what pain I caused until recently. When I finally met someone whom I did connect with....this is SO confusing.

I do not think that I have been of any help. But if there is one thing that I might share is to be HONEST. Never keep the truth from someone under the guise of not wanting to hurt them.


Belle

[NorthBiEast]

Nope, the same sex thing was totally my idea. I identify here as a couple because I don't want to become involved with someone without my husband's input, as it is his life too. He is willing for me to experiment on my own (though he would rather participate), and maybe I will, but we come as a package.

Since I've started researching things, he really likes the polyamory idea, and talks about finding a permanent addition to our family. I'm not sure where I sit on that fence though. Fortunately, we have enough respect for each other that we'll do what makes both of us happiest...too bad he's straight

Long story short, the only pressure I'm feeling is my own.
:three:

[flexuality]

I would imagine that there are some who are being pressured by boyfriends or husbands.

I also think that just because someone is not interested in a certain person, does not necessarily mean that they are one of the ones being pressured.

Being bi-curious doesn't equate to jumping in the sack with just anyone simply because one is curious. At least for me it doesn't.

[littlerayofsunshine]

I was once in a ffm threesome when I was younger, at the persistance of my boyfriend at the time, and It was a mixed experience. Ultimately I didn't get everything wonderful out of it. It wasn't "for" me, it was to please someone else and felt more like a sideshow, or a pornflick than an actual experience. Dont know if that makes sense, but thats the best way I can put it.

Fortunately, I have a wonderful husband, who understands and supports my point, and isn't interested in threesomes with a female. I won't say, that I won't ever have a threesome ever again. But if I do, it will be after I have gotten an opportunity to evolve and be comfortable with a female, and if we both say its ok, well then maybe it will be a possibility, but it won't be to please a man.

Alot of the time, I feel some women think that if their man is involved, then it isn't a completely homosexual act. Sort of a girls version of " If the balls don't touch", but thats just my opinion.

[sexybicplinwv]

Female here! I have always been Bi. And not for a guy. Why lie about something your not. Would they do it for you. You know be with a guy when their not Bi. :female: :rolleyes: Always be true to yourself :bipride:

[anne27]

Hubby and I used to hang out at an Am Pics site and a lot of people knew us on there. I can't count the number of times a man PMed me, asking me to 'talk his wife into trying bi'. I think there's a tremendous amount of pressure put on women by their men who think two girls together is sexy.

I am bisexual. I don't consider it a spectator sport.

[FireRaven]

Love your reply Anne!

I used to be jealous of the 'freedom' that young women seem to have in the bisexual area. Now, after years of seeing how it really works for them, I feel sorry for them. Not all Women are bi but you'd never know it by what is expected of them .... just sad.

[wildangel]

I'm with Anne. My bisexuality is not a 'spectator sport'. Because I feel so strongly about this I have adamantly refused to have a threesome with my husband or any other man I have even been sexually active with.

I considered myself a lesbian until midway through high school, when I started having hetero-sex to prove I wasn't gay to my parents (how ironic). I've never considered myself straight and even now I'm on the far end of the bisexual scale. I only consider myself bisexual because I'm married to a man and I enjoy the sex, for the most part.

I still struggle with thinking I made the wrong decision settling down with a man. I feel I'm not as happy as I would be with a woman. But I love my husband dearly and he allows me my, *ahem*, discretions.

[Rhuth]

I also think that just because someone is not interested in a certain person, does not necessarily mean that they are one of the ones being pressured.Too true, Flex. Rejection sucks. It is much easier to accept rejection if we can blame it on a jerk of a man who is trying to force the issue. It has been my experience, however, that most men aren't jerks. Most are caring thoughtful people who truly care about what is best for the people that they love.

We all had to be curious at one time. The nature of being curious entails the fact that after the curiosity is gone, either they are or they are not interested in continuing. There is another possibility of rejection. I for one am willing to risk rejection to assist in someone else's exploration. I also understand that others are not willing to take the risk, or are just sick of being the "teacher" for the newbies. This is a reflection of those of us who are no longer curious though. Not a reflection on bi-curious girls as a whole.

I applaud our society for liberating women enough to enable her to explore her sexuality. I think it is a fantastic thing, and wish that the men had the same opportunities to explore without condemnation. I think most men here would much rather trade societal pressure to try it as opposed to the social and physical danger they face now for same sex experimentation.

[yoyo4u]

..... I think there's a tremendous amount of pressure put on women by their men who think two girls together is sexy.....

I want to be timely with my note..... :tongue:

Yes, just like most men, I think it is sexy. Even more I find it highly erotic!!

I suspect there may be many women (especially here) who'd agree with me.

Don't jkust take my word, run a poll, hopefully I'll be proven correct and not just my male-brain-cell works overtime!!!!

yoyo

PS. OK! Now the pressure is tremendous on me!!! :)

[innaminka]

how many of the ladies who advertise themselves as bi curious on here are genuinley bi curious, or doing it just to please a boyfriend.



Its back to the teen years where it was, "if you really love me, you'll let me do it!!!!" :(
I wonder how many virginities were lost with that one?????

Fortunately, with maturity, emotional blackmail tends to be less effective, and the straight "do it 'cos you love me," line doesn't really (or shouldn't) work.

With me, there was never a question about inviting another woman with my husband because of my "bi-ness"!
Was never ever going to happen!