bimale married to str8 woman

[norcalbi]

This week I told my wife (of 8 yrs) been dating since 1993, a little more about my bisexual encounters and why I think I am bi. I told her when dating in early 90's as I did not want secrets. Telling the wife is a little difficult, but woman a understanding and accepting.

How are other wives taking the news of bihubby?

[deremarc]

There are so many issues that can be involved when coming out as bi. My guy didn't "come out"--he was caught out. So, I dealt with the bi issue, as well as lying, hiding and cheating. It was hard at first to separate which emotions were the result of what actions-ya know?

He still doesn't admit to being bi, but after a year and a half of dealing with it, we had a big blow up last November and things are better. He is being open, honest and sincere with me. Well, he was. We haven't dealt much with it lately. But the openness and connection went a long way to make things better.

He actually came on here and read my posts and the replies that were made and did a great deal of crying. I don't think he realized how painful his actions were to me-I think when he would get caught up in the moment, he wasn't thinking much at all.

The big kicker for him, was reading responses from other bisexuals who said that cheating and lying and blaming me was wrong. He had been angry at me-projected a lot of his bad emotions that he felt towards himself on to me.

I came here to find answers, and to understand. I was honestly quite shocked, hurt and a little wigged out by it all in the beginning.

Now, I can sincerely say that him being bi is not problem for me. Acting on it might be, due to me being monogamous by nature and suffering from jealousy. We will just have to see.

Last November, when he finally opened up-we connected heart to heart in a way we never had before (and I thought he was the love of my life before that--it was very intense, very deep). I love him more now than ever.

[w/e inhumboldt]

hi yes i also have had a dtright wife and it was hell!! It took myself along time to finally accepy my sexuality and actually love ME11we ALL FORGET THAT IF WE TAKE A LOOK AT TGE WHOLE PERSON THEIR WHOLE MAKE UP THEIR SEXUALALITY IS SO MINUTE TO THE WHOLE BEING :)

[eyeda1]

when I told my wife she told me that she had already figured it out, (she is a smart woman) she said that she had picked up on things that I did and liked both in and out of the bedroom, what they were I am not exactly sure. But the bottom line is that she said not to worry about it, she is fine with it and fine with the idea of me exploring that side of myself because she knows that it is the only way that I will feel more comfortable with myself. Since I have told her though, our sex life has done a 180 and it has been so great. We look at it as a new chapter in our lives and we have been through so much that it was nothing to worry about. I must say that since I have told her it has been an uplifting experience in the fact that I can be myself and not have to worry. And it is pretty neat to be sitting in a mall or park and see a nice looking guy walk by and both of us say "wow how would you like to have him?." But all in all I think it made our relationship stronger. We already had excellent communication and honesty, but it made our bond so much stronger. :2cents:

[jaglvr]

I was "out" to my wife since the beginning and she was originally supportive. She even helped me hook up when I was first "trying out" guys. However that has eroded and, partly my fault, partly hers, we have grown apart in a lot of ways. She is always suspicious and jealous and I am always defensive particularly since I am generally a very private person to begin with and don't come to much openess easily. It has caused a breakdown of communication, a gap between us, that we can't seem to bridge. Our hard headedness toward each other only seems to get worse even though we try. I admit that after almost eight years together it may be the end is near.