successful?

[myironlung78]

Hey there,

I'm a late 20s male here. I've spent quite a long time experimenting with other dudes, and now i'm in a loving relationship with a woman, but i'm having a hard time figuring out what to do about my attraction to men.

1. how does one know if theyr'e really gay
2. is it possible / healthy to have both or is sacrfice really in order here
3. for my girlfriend's sake, how can she stay sane and still be in love with a bisexual guy like me:)
4. for me, how can a bi guy be in love and still be sane :-o

[but that's my name!!]

Hey there,

I'm a late 20s male here. I've spent quite a long time experimenting with other dudes, and now i'm in a loving relationship with a woman, but i'm having a hard time figuring out what to do about my attraction to men.

1. how does one know if theyr'e really gay
2. is it possible / healthy to have both or is sacrfice really in order here
3. for my girlfriend's sake, how can she stay sane and still be in love with a bisexual guy like me:)
4. for me, how can a bi guy be in love and still be sane :-o

It's down to you to figure it out yourself but theres no harm in suggestions.
If you are attracted to both genders or people regardless of their gender then I'd call you bi, if you are attracted only to men then I'd call you gay, and if you are attracted only to women then I'd call you straight.

I'm currently in a monogamous M/F relationship and I really don't see the sacrifice.
However this is probably down to several things like: I am comfortable with who I am, I've had both M/F and M/M relationships so I don't feel a need to 'test the waters' as it were, I am completely honest with my partner and she accepts me for who I am, we are sexually experimental and if I want something sexually, I go to her.

Being bi doesn't mean you have to have both at the same time. Promiscuity is seperate and independant of orientation and in my opinion "swinging" is fine as long as everyone affected is in the know and noone gets hurt.

my :2cents: , hope it helps. :) :flag3:

[someotherguy]

1. how does one know if theyr'e really gay
They're gay if they are attracted to men but not to women.

2. is it possible / healthy to have both or is sacrfice really in order here
yes

3. for my girlfriend's sake, how can she stay sane and still be in love with a bisexual guy like me
what does sanity have to do with being in love?

4. for me, how can a bi guy be in love and still be sane :-o
see previous

[tommyswing]

Hey there,

I'm a late 20s male here. I've spent quite a long time experimenting with other dudes, and now i'm in a loving relationship with a woman, but i'm having a hard time figuring out what to do about my attraction to men.

1. how does one know if theyr'e really gay
2. is it possible / healthy to have both or is sacrfice really in order here
3. for my girlfriend's sake, how can she stay sane and still be in love with a bisexual guy like me:)
4. for me, how can a bi guy be in love and still be sane :-o

I know exactly what your going through. I used to ask the same questions. I now accept I've liked both since I was 14. As someone has said if you like both your most likely bi.
As far as being active with both sexes, that's up to your comfort level and your what you girlfriend is comfortable with. I do not believe that anyone can tell you if you should be monogamous or have a more open relationship. The main thing is not to become involved with men behind her back. That's a very destructive pattern to get into. I've always told any serious partners that I like being involved with both sexes, that way they can exercise their options and do what's best for them.

[myironlung78]

thanks for the responses, everyone. it's a tough one for sure. i could always see her saying its ok for me to be with other guys but not her being totally ok with it. and honestly, i'm not sure i'm totally ok with it, and i'm not sure why? maybe it's because i have an image of monogomy as some ideal.

one thing that has been eating at me, is that, i feel more comfortable sexually with men, than i do with women. i feel like with women i feel inhibited sexually, but not emotionally. with men i feel the opposite (unless i really know the guy very well)

so these are some of the things.

tommyswing, thanks for the insight. and btmn i hear you about swinging.

guess i need to just talk with her.

[twodelta]

Hey there,

I'm a late 20s male here. I've spent quite a long time experimenting with other dudes, and now i'm in a loving relationship with a woman, but i'm having a hard time figuring out what to do about my attraction to men.

1. how does one know if theyr'e really gay
2. is it possible / healthy to have both or is sacrfice really in order here
3. for my girlfriend's sake, how can she stay sane and still be in love with a bisexual guy like me:)
4. for me, how can a bi guy be in love and still be sane :-o

When it comes to relationships, I think You are better off listening to Your heart instead of Your head. Don't worry so much about Your orientation. What's important is that You express Your love for another person irregardless of gender. As far as sacrifice, that's a decision that only You can make. Each of us has to decide for ourselves what our priorities are and then find people who share those priorities, to be part of our lives. :2cents: Dave