Maybe bi....Maybe not...

[ambi53mm]

:) Here’s a somewhat hypothetical situation with perhaps an unexpected twist or two, which came to mind one day while contemplating the various definitions posted on bisexuality.

A heterosexual oriented male/female at the age of 15 looses his virginity to the girl/guy next door. For seven years he/she clearly defines his orientation as heterosexual with no same sex activity during this period.
Twenty-two finds him/her engaged in same-sex activity and this continues on for a period of seven years during which no heterosexual activity takes place and he/she defines his/her orientation as heterosexual.
Twenty-nine finds him/her again in a heterosexual relationship this time married but this period of heterosexual activity only lasts for a few brief years when once again he returns to same-sex activity with no active heterosexual activity. He/she still defines his/her orientation as heterosexual.
Forty-nine finds him/ her back into a heterosexual relationship which persists until he finally dies .He dies convinced that he is in fact heterosexual

Could it be perceived by some of the definitions we use to determine “bisexuality” that this individual is bisexual in that he/she spends part of his/her life having sex with members of both sexes? Could it also be perceived that despite his/her sexual behavior that he/she is in fact, heterosexual?

Ambi

[TorontoGuy2007]

i think it really depends on why he was having same-sex experiences.. if it was out of pure enjoyment, then yes, he's bisexual.

if he hated this and only did this out of a form of degrading self-punishment due to depression, then sure, he could be hetrosexual.

sexual orientation and sexual activity are mutually exclusive in my opinion, however activity will usually play a major role to help undecided people realize their true orientation..

orientation is not just sex though, an interest in love and romance may also be key indicators..

additional comment: i better amend this.. he could also be purely homosexual for all the same reasons.... or, just one heck of a confused person!

[billy_campbell]

Basic question do you like sex with both males and females or to put it more directly do you like both dick and pussy? If so, then I would say you are bisexual. Nothing wrong with liking both!

[Long Duck Dong]

lol .....mmmm interesting question.....

by sexual activity terms....WE could regard him as bisexual.... and indeed his sexual activity is with both sexes.....but without knowing his level of attraction...or desire.... its hard to say aye or nay to what his true orientation is
it can be also called sexual experimenting or defining ones self, cos his sexual activities change from one side to the other.....then back again as a full swing, and not a fuild swinging

lol however...* new twists *... we would call him a closet bisexual, the gays would call him a closet gay....and I would call him a environmental heterosexual
in his eyes and in his mind, his sexuality is not affected by who he sleeps with, but who he identifies as......and he identifies as a heterosexual

the issue is what sex is he attracted to....... its possible that the people has a mid life crisis or other situation that sees them as a loss... and so they have a relationship outside the range of their attraction....and once they are back on their feet.... then they resume their * normal pattern *

now tis possible to be bisexual without having sex with the same and opposite sex....cos we still have the level of attraction, just not the sexual activity....
and as we base sexuality on non sexual attraction..... then quite rightly the guy can say that they are heterosexual, IF there is NO attraction

now the main issue with sexuality, is not how the person sees it, but how we see it...... we dislike gays telling us males that we are closet gays....and and so if we are to tell this guy, what his sexuality is, according to what WE perceive, then we are doing the same thing

[dans94]

This may be a totally different thread but, I would bet that most of us who define ourselves a bisexual had their first sexual contack with someone of the same sex. I should restate that: During our pre-pube years we probably experimented with both sexes. I know I happily did.

[someotherguy]

The definition is by who you are attracted to. If who you're attracted to changes, then your status changes. People are not always just one way forever, they change from this to that as time goes by. How people can be perceived is limited only by the imagination of those doing the perceiving. There is no international ruling body for sexual identity. You get to decide for yourself what you want to be, for as long as it suits you. The less time you spend on what label to wear the more time you have for TV, which tells us what products to buy, to keep the economy moving, so people of all orientations can have jobs.

[CountryLover]

*chuckling* I sure do enjoy your wry sense of humor ....and your excellent insights someotherguy ;)

QUOTE=someotherguy]The definition is by who you are attracted to. If who you're attracted to changes, then your status changes. People are not always just one way forever, they change from this to that as time goes by. How people can be perceived is limited only by the imagination of those doing the perceiving. There is no international ruling body for sexual identity. You get to decide for yourself what you want to be, for as long as it suits you. The less time you spend on what label to wear the more time you have for TV, which tells us what products to buy, to keep the economy moving, so people of all orientations can have jobs.[/QUOTE]

[onewhocares]

Country Lover I could not agree more with your comments about Someotherguy. I wish I were as ensightful as he.

I do not feel that I can comment from experiance on the thread as I am not bisexual, my husband is. I do believe that labels are not something that I like to use. I think you should love the person inside, to me that is key.

Belle

[Herbwoman39]

It seems to me that this person based his sex life on who he was attracted to at the time. It didn't seem to matter which gender the partner was according to the narration.

This is, of course, assuming that TorontoGuy's observations about self-loathing are misplaced and our subject really was sleeping with the people he chose based on attraction and/or emotional attachment.

In short, yes he could be considered Bi. However, in my opinion it is more important to observe how he defined *himself* and how he came to the decision to maintain the heterosexual label regardless of long stints of same-sex activity.

[ambi53mm]

lol .....mmmm interesting question.....

by sexual activity terms....WE could regard him as bisexual.... and indeed his sexual activity is with both sexes.....but without knowing his level of attraction...or desire.... its hard to say aye or nay to what his true orientation is
it can be also called sexual experimenting or defining ones self, cos his sexual activities change from one side to the other.....then back again as a full swing, and not a fuild swinging

lol however...* new twists *... we would call him a closet bisexual, the gays would call him a closet gay....and I would call him a environmental heterosexual
in his eyes and in his mind, his sexuality is not affected by who he sleeps with, but who he identifies as......and he identifies as a heterosexual

the issue is what sex is he attracted to....... its possible that the people has a mid life crisis or other situation that sees them as a loss... and so they have a relationship outside the range of their attraction....and once they are back on their feet.... then they resume their * normal pattern *

now tis possible to be bisexual without having sex with the same and opposite sex....cos we still have the level of attraction, just not the sexual activity....
and as we base sexuality on non sexual attraction..... then quite rightly the guy can say that they are heterosexual, IF there is NO attraction

now the main issue with sexuality, is not how the person sees it, but how we see it...... we dislike gays telling us males that we are closet gays....and and so if we are to tell this guy, what his sexuality is, according to what WE perceive, then we are doing the same thing

I like your post LDD because it poses those lines of thought that would be necessary to arriving at a workable definition when given the limited amount of information. I've never heard of term "environmental bisexual" but in this case it seems applicable.

Where my questioning began was in thinking about the origins of bisexuality itself. Years ago I recall reading book by Desmond Morris Titled "The Naked Ape" It's been many years in fact it was just out at the time, but I recall one observation he made about animal behavior and more specifically about animals in captivity and how when caged that sometimes homosexual behavior based on observation of sexual behavior would result.

You make the observation that the swings are full swings and not fluid and such would be the case of someone incarcerated. The hypothetical question posed was in fact based on what’s referred to as situational homosexuality. I left out the elements of attraction because attraction under certain circumstances could perhaps be situational as well. I also left out any mention of coercion because under the circumstances where the activity is based on a mutual need, coercion would introduce a variable that would not fit into the hypothetical question posed.

I can think of many situations where the exploration into same sex activity might result simply because the choices and circumstances coupled with the absence of the opposite sex, might make same sex activity an attractive alternative. The sailors out to sea years ago….the hunting and foraging parties that would stretch out for months at a time…or even of more recent note a couple of guys out in the middle of nowhere guarding sheep.

I like the term “environment bisexual” and in some ways perhaps even “situational bisexual” because they do seem to posses the more fluid qualities we associate with bisexuality just in a different way. We adapt to our environments when the situation demands that we do so.

May the imaginary person in this thread, rest in heterosexual peace.

Ambi :)

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[AngelOfTheMystic]

I would have to agree with what Toronto Guy has said on this one. I mean it all depends on why he was being with the same sex or oppisite sex. Like Toronto Guy said if he was with the same sex because of self destruction than he was probably hetro...if he did it because he liked being with the same sex than he was defiently bi!

[suegeorge]

Some people think about their sexuality only in terms of who they are with at that particular time and they forget about or discount their previous relationships or attractions. Think, for instance, about the many women who were lesbian in the 70s and then got married and never looked at a woman again.

Normally, I would say that people are bi if they identify as such, but there are certainly also people who are "behavioural bisexuals" as sociologists put it and see themselves as other than bi.

Bisexuality and beyond (http://suegeorgewrites.blogspot.com)

[LoveLion]

I think it all comes down to whether or not you difine sexuality by action or by thoughts. This is something I have had many many debates over. Is a gay a gay if hes never slept with a man? If a straight man spontaneously has his first experience with a man and never gets a chance with a woman, but knows he would enjoy it, is he straight or gay?

When I came out to my parents they where in the mind set that it is your actions that define everything. They asked me if I had been with men, and I them no (although I have, but I dont want to discuss my sex with my parents) so they seemed to think I wasnt really bi. Then they said well depending on how you end up with, wouldn't that make you gay or straight (meaning if I ended up with a guy, I would be gay. and if I ended up with a women I would be straight)? I told them thats not how it works and that even if I was with a girl, I could still be attracted to men. I told them that being Bi isnt about who you are dating/screwing at the moment or your sexual history. I told them its about your preferences.

I define sexual orientation by your attractions and your capability to be attracted to genders, and not by your actions.

So it all comes down to how you define it.

In this story, if the person is attracted to the same sex and desires them then he is probably bi. If, however, he/she doesnt really, and is only having sex out of convenience, then he would be straight.