BI-Natural or Learned?

[str8biguy38]

BI-Natural or Learned?


How old were you when you had your first BI or Sexual encounter?

I have been reviewing my sexual life and found that I was born BI and horny. It all started when my older sister and I would play house. I was always the Husband or Son . I would work all day, when I came home, my ’play’ wife would kiss me. This would give me feelings in my crotch but I didn’t get hard until I asked her to wear lipstick. Needles to say, I was always willing to play house. As taboo as it was to be kissing my sister, yes tough and all, the lipstick just did something more to me.

It wasn’t long after that first kiss that my friends and I were skinning dipping in the creek. As we were drying off, I developed an erection looking at the other guys dicks. Before I knew it, I ask one of the guys if I could suck his dick and the rest is history. I also tried to screw the girl across the street, but she wouldn’t let me see what I was doing.

How old was I,,,This all happened before I turned 10 years old. I had other Bi encounters as a teenager and my first blow job to completion was at Montgomery Wards Men’s room. A ‘Glory hole”, with out the hole. LOL.

Its been over 30 years since I have had a BI Good Time, but I look at nude men pictures, wear women’s lingerie and use toys when I masturbate and I masturbate daily.

[TXLonestarTX69]

Interesting question...

My first happened when I was a teenager. I had a friend with whom I masturbated. We did this for a long time and one day, out of the blue, he asked me if he could suck me off. I resisted, but he begged. I ended up letting him and it was fantastic! It was my first blowjob and I was hooked.

We continued for several more months and I did try to give a few times. It was very exciting, but I never mustered the courage to take him over the edge, which was disappointing for both of us because he continued to take me all the way without difficulty.

As one might imagine, the one-sided relationship did not last. He became less and less willing to suck me off since I was afraid to reciprocate and it ended up being me who was the beggar. It eventually stopped and it has left me with years and years of curiosity...

I would love to find the right guy and satisfy my intense curiosity. I've thought about it a lot and I feel like I'm ready.

That's my story. Thanks for reading.

[mike9753]

Forgive the length of this post, but I am trying to put together a variety of experiences, most of which were not sexual, but may have contributed to the interest I have as an adult in bisexuality. Think of this as a "stream of consciousness" recollection.

I never had any sexual encounter with men/boys or women/girls before high school. I was a life guard during the summer months in high school and attracted many life guard groupies. I had a few sexual experiences with them and eventually met the girl I finally married. We dated several months and had sex as often as we could then I went half way across country to college. Whenever I came home we would spend all our time together and have sex when we could. We partied with friends often and had a normal teenage/college romance.

In my sophmore year I found a bath house in my college town. I was not a college jock. It was a midwestern college and soccer and basketball were the favorite sports. I never played soccer and was too short for basketball so I avoided the school gym. When I dscovered this bath house I can't remember if I thought it was a gay bath. This was in the 1960's.

Anyway, I went in, paid the small fee to get a locker and a key on an elastic ring that you place around your wrist or ankle and a towel. I went in, took off all my cloths wrapped the towel around my waist and as I walked around looking at the steamroom, sauna, whirlpool, etc. I was quickly confronted with the reality of gay bath house sex. I did not leave. I wandered around, watched, got gropped, gropped back, got blown and finally lied down with a guy for a 69 session in a large communal room with others engaging in various sexual play around us - either in pairs or more.

I never repeated this experience, altho since I did not leave after I realized what the place actually was, I must have had a good time.

During this period, I remember reading "The Harrad Experiment". For those who don't know the book, it was a story about several college age couples who end up living together in a house. They started out as pairs and as time progressed their relationship evolved so that they got together in various mixed groupings - threesomes, foursomes, homosexual pairings, etc. What I got from the book was that the author felt that human beings were sexual creatures and that as we evolve as a species, possessiveness in pairings will become a thing of the past and we will eventually learn how to give up jealousy and possessiveness and be free to engage in sex with other willing parties, regardless of gender and relationships with others. So perhaps this was an influence that allowed me to explore gay sex.

After college, I came home and my girlfriend and I married. Our marriage lasted 12 years, but the last few before we divorced were pretty awful. I did meet a guy for sex once toward the end of my marriage. He was a real estate salesman and we met in a vacant house. He tried to fuck me, but it was too painful and we stopped. No orgasm for either one of us. I did frequent adult bookstores and became aware of cross dressers, transvestites, etc. These exotic people really turned me on. I have never met one, except once in NYC, on 42nd Street, before it was cleaned up, I went into a peep show. You sat on one side of a glass wall, put your dollar in a slot the curtin would go up and a girl would dance for you. Well this girl had a cock! After many dollars, I finally got her to strip completely and I can remember being VERY aroused to see her breasts, hips, long hair, long fingernails, long beautiful legs on sexy heels, with a small cock right in the middle of everything.

Years later, I was in the locker room of a health club that I belonged to and saw another man iin the shower. He was a nice looking guy and he had a beautiful cock. I couldn't help but stare. He noticed. We both went into the sauna together. We both sat there trying not to be obvious, but we were looking at each others cocks. As this happened we both got erections. We struck up a conversation and he told me he was gay. One thing led to another and we decided to get together for sex. But I backed out at the last minute because I was in a good relationship with a woman that I did not want to ruin due to any infidelity on my part.

Since then, my relationship with my 2nd wife has been great. We love each other a great deal and I wouldn't think about doing anything for a few hours of fun that would ruin our life together.

So the question: BI-Natural or Learned? For me, my answer is a bit of both. I think I had a pre-disposition to accept bi-sexuality. But if I had not had experiences that were positive (Gay bath) or just neutral then I may not have felt I was Bi. If I had not read that book, and had I not grown up in an intellictual (albeit strict Roman Catholic home) that was accepting of differences (racial and cultural) I might not have turned out the way I am.

Like many things in life, this is not a simple question.
Mike

[Anozira]

Forgive the length of this post, but I am trying to put together a variety of experiences, most of which were not sexual, but may have contributed to the interest I have as an adult in bisexuality. Think of this as a "stream of consciousness" recollection.

I never had any sexual encounter with men/boys or women/girls before high school. I was a life guard during the summer months in high school and attracted many life guard groupies. I had a few sexual experiences with them and eventually met the girl I finally married. We dated several months and had sex as often as we could then I went half way across country to college. Whenever I came home we would spend all our time together and have sex when we could. We partied with friends often and had a normal teenage/college romance.

In my sophmore year I found a bath house in my college town. I was not a college jock. It was a midwestern college and soccer and basketball were the favorite sports. I never played soccer and was too short for basketball so I avoided the school gym. When I dscovered this bath house I can't remember if I thought it was a gay bath. This was in the 1960's.

Anyway, I went in, paid the small fee to get a locker and a key on an elastic ring that you place around your wrist or ankle and a towel. I went in, took off all my cloths wrapped the towel around my waist and as I walked around looking at the steamroom, sauna, whirlpool, etc. I was quickly confronted with the reality of gay bath house sex. I did not leave. I wandered around, watched, got gropped, gropped back, got blown and finally lied down with a guy for a 69 session in a large communal room with others engaging in various sexual play around us - either in pairs or more.

I never repeated this experience, altho since I did not leave after I realized what the place actually was, I must have had a good time.

During this period, I remember reading "The Harrad Experiment". For those who don't know the book, it was a story about several college age couples who end up living together in a house. They started out as pairs and as time progressed their relationship evolved so that they got together in various mixed groupings - threesomes, foursomes, homosexual pairings, etc. What I got from the book was that the author felt that human beings were sexual creatures and that as we evolve as a species, possessiveness in pairings will become a thing of the past and we will eventually learn how to give up jealousy and possessiveness and be free to engage in sex with other willing parties, regardless of gender and relationships with others. So perhaps this was an influence that allowed me to explore gay sex.

After college, I came home and my girlfriend and I married. Our marriage lasted 12 years, but the last few before we divorced were pretty awful. I did meet a guy for sex once toward the end of my marriage. He was a real estate salesman and we met in a vacant house. He tried to fuck me, but it was too painful and we stopped. No orgasm for either one of us. I did frequent adult bookstores and became aware of cross dressers, transvestites, etc. These exotic people really turned me on. I have never met one, except once in NYC, on 42nd Street, before it was cleaned up, I went into a peep show. You sat on one side of a glass wall, put your dollar in a slot the curtin would go up and a girl would dance for you. Well this girl had a cock! After many dollars, I finally got her to strip completely and I can remember being VERY aroused to see her breasts, hips, long hair, long fingernails, long beautiful legs on sexy heels, with a small cock right in the middle of everything.

Years later, I was in the locker room of a health club that I belonged to and saw another man iin the shower. He was a nice looking guy and he had a beautiful cock. I couldn't help but stare. He noticed. We both went into the sauna together. We both sat there trying not to be obvious, but we were looking at each others cocks. As this happened we both got erections. We struck up a conversation and he told me he was gay. One thing led to another and we decided to get together for sex. But I backed out at the last minute because I was in a good relationship with a woman that I did not want to ruin due to any infidelity on my part.

Since then, my relationship with my 2nd wife has been great. We love each other a great deal and I wouldn't think about doing anything for a few hours of fun that would ruin our life together.

So the question: BI-Natural or Learned? For me, my answer is a bit of both. I think I had a pre-disposition to accept bi-sexuality. But if I had not had experiences that were positive (Gay bath) or just neutral then I may not have felt I was Bi. If I had not read that book, and had I not grown up in an intellictual (albeit strict Roman Catholic home) that was accepting of differences (racial and cultural) I might not have turned out the way I am.

Like many things in life, this is not a simple question.
Mike

There is no question that our life experiences contribute to the total sum of what we become, but I take exception to the notion that bisexuality (for the lack of a better term) at any level is a learned trait. We are who we are.

An all-too common learned trait, however, is the repression/supression of feelings that are utterly normal. Societal and parental restraint that interdicts netural sexuality--often as not under the guise of normalcy--is the stuff of psychoneurosis.

Youngsters have an abiding interest in the body parts of both sexes. Early on, however, their attention is manipulated and diverted to the opposite sex--often with devastating results.

Bisexuality is a natural state. Choosing sides is not.

Zira

[twosides]

Mike's right. This is not an easy question to answer. And I'm inserting this line in here to apologize for the length that this has tuned into as well.

I never considered bisexuality until I was well into my 30's, probably even into my 40's. So - only a few years ago, but... I was remembering the other week that my first real sexual experience was when I was about 21 years old. (Yeah, a late bloomer. But that plays into this.) And that was with a guy. I have always had gay friends in my life from one degree to another. Some I just worked with and partied with after work. Others have been my friends for 20 years now. So I always had this understanding of same sex relations, but not the attraction. Or maybe, I just didn't acknowledge my desires.

High school for me was a smattering of sexual clumsiness, and when I got to college, smoking dope was an easy way for me to avoid the issue altogether. Then, when I got out on my own and was ready for something, I didn't know how to go about it - attracting women, that is. So, again, I just smoked my weed and learned to accept my lot in life; being an unsexual person, aside from jerking off, which I did enough, but not a lot. Then, one weekend, partying with some gay friends, we ended up at a gay dance bar and doing poppers and somehow a guy picked me up and we went to the parking lot and kissed, then we went to his place and I think I fucked him and then I know he fucked me. I know I didn't blow him. After the encounter, I went home and didn't really have any reaction to it, except that I thought it was "ok", but not something that I would actively seek out again. So, I finally found a couple of women to get with, and that was good except for my lack of experience.

Anyway, after many years of little to no regular sex, and realizing that I was a bit different from many of my str8 firends, I started to think of myself as asexual. That is, sex was not a motivating factor for me in my life. That's probably not the way "true asexuals" would describe themselves. For me there was no need for a girlfriend, because I did fine in releasing the pressure by wacking off on a semi-regular basis. And I was able to avoid all the relationship crap that I saw as part of the package of having a gf. Then, a short time after moving to LA, I came across a new friend who was gay all the way and he had a major crush on me. We went out for dinner a couple times, he made some moves on me, I politely turned him down, and we have had a very sporadic relationship ever since. We did get together and I let him blow me when I finally decided to play with guys. And I do want to see him again, but not only just for sex, because he is a friend. But I'm getting ahead of the story here.

OK. Now I'm heading toward my 40th bd and realize that I've missed a major portion of my life by not being as sexual as I could have been, partly due to what I've described and partly due to being involved in the Christian lifestyle. And I feel the need to start experiencing that side of me. I try to date women more regularly, with not much success. So, I start thinking about the guys and how they're "always looking for sex" and think that that may be a way for me to have some fun. It took me a couple years of experimenting very slowly. Like having one of my best friends play with my dick and when he was drunk enough and not taking no for an answer, letting him kiss and lick it. I wasn't attracted to him, but I realized that I thought that maybe I could accept this as part of my learning experience. Then I went to a sex club, then I met a guy through an ad on Craig's List for an anoymous bj. (I walk into his apartment's front hallway with all the lights off except for one in the other room and drop trou. He sucks me off and I leave.) Again no problem in my mind.

So finally about a year later, I find another ad on CL for a real encounter and now have been seening this guy once a week or so for about two months. We're doing everything, or at least trying to, but that's another story. And we're talking about opening it up, because he would love to see me with another woman while he just watches, or while he does me. And I want to have a regular gf(s) geared toward the polyamorous lifestyle, and I would like to have guys involved, just because it's so enticing to look at love that way.

So, BI-Natural or Learned? I would put myself in the Natural category. Just because I've never had a real inclination to go one way or the other, even with the moderate number of encounters that I've had. I would say that I've been with many more women than men, but, I've never had a strong desire to actually make a choice. :2cents: :2cents: :2cents: :2cents: :2cents:

[bigregory]

I do think i was just born Bi.

I think hetro is wierd and unnatural.
:2cents:

[Woody]

First time sex with a guy for me was when I was sharing an apartment with my best mate.We were both ok with being naked around each other and when we were still at school and we slept over most of those nights were spent with us jerking off together.We never went further than that in those early years.My mate and his new g/f spent a lot of their time screwing around as u do and when you are not getting any yourself it does become frustrating.Then one night I just went for broke,went to the bedroom door and told them to shut the hell up or let me join in.All went quiet and almost immediately the door opened and his g/f told me to join them.It was awkward at first but we were all into it and my mate and I agreed later that we both wanted to do each other for years.What made things real easy is that she was always calling the shots with who did who and how,she seemed to really get off on the control.My mate and I did our best to catch up those wasted years when it was just the two of us as well.
I think the vast majority must at the least had some fantasies about doing someone of the same sex.If it had not been for a woman opening that door maybe I never would have experienced a man,maybe I never would have taken that step,maybe I would have gone to my room and masturbated like so many times before.Given the right opportunity it's a natural.

[mike9753]

How about the differences between lust and emotional attachments? For instance, a very sexual person may experience a high degree of lust and express that in a sexual encounter with a same sex partner - but it's a slam/bam/thank/you/mam or sir. On the other hand, this same person may only feel emotionally intimate with an opposite sex partner, who they may also have great sex with. Is that person Bi-sexual?

Could you not say that a bi-sexual peson is one who can do both - express their lust and become emotionally attached with other people - regardless of the gender?

Mike

[twosides]

I guess I like the way Mike thinks. It's a fuzzy line that we navigate when we try to label anyone about any aspect of their lives. What I would not like to see happen is an argument trying to determine what a "true" bisexual is. That's been tried with the terms straight and gay, to an ongoing inconclusive discussion. I know we will try to sort this out, but I hope we can agree that we won't be able to agree on a consensus.

[Anozira]

I guess I like the way Mike thinks. It's a fuzzy line that we navigate when we try to label anyone about any aspect of their lives. What I would not like to see happen is an argument trying to determine what a "true" bisexual is. That's been tried with the terms straight and gay, to an ongoing inconclusive discussion. I know we will try to sort this out, but I hope we can agree that we won't be able to agree on a consensus.

I think it is simple as can be. Labels are useless. We are sexual beings. Each of us has the capacity to find sexual attraction in either sex. Some of us act on it, others--mostly because of parental and societal restraint--do not.

Zira

[mike9753]

Zira:
I see your point, but I am not willing to paint all people with such a broad brush. We are not all alike. There are infinite differences between people and in their responses to stimulation - both emotional and physical.

You say that: "We are sexual beings. Each of us has the capacity to find sexual attraction in either sex". Well I would agree that we are all sexual beings, but I can't quite agree with your next statement. This is where we disagree. I think that we all have the capacity to find sexual attraction - but some are lucky enough to be able to find it in either gender and others will only be able to find it in the same gender and still others in the opposite gender.
Mike

[Anozira]

Re-read closely what I wrote, Mike, and you will see that there is not an iota of difference in our positions.

Zira

[mikeg1961]

Interesting points. Sorry if this seems to ramble a bit. My first encounter was in junior high school with a really good friend. My parents dropped me off, his parents were out, one thing led to another and we got each other off. This went on until we went our separate ways for college, always oral.

First semester at college, some guy starts talking to me while we're both taking a leak in the library bathroom. One thing leads to another, and you guessed it. We didn't even make it out of the bathroom! I didn't even know his name until after, but this lasted until he graduated that spring.

Over the summer, I was out buying some beer and ran into an old friend. He asked me to come over for a beer. One beer led to two, three, and the next thing I know, I wake up in the morning naked with his arm around me. I spent a lot of time with him over the next 2 years, and had probably the best night I'd ever experienced sexually with him and another guy doing me.

Fast forward. I haven't been with a guy in over 20 years. I'm happily married, have 2 kids, the house, the dog, etc. Not even any thoughts of guys. I go in for surgery in May which required general anesthesia. I wake up and feel really different while watching TV, but didn't know what it was and thought it was after-effects. Later that night, a male nurse comes in to check my vitals and the incisions. I get hard while he's there and cum all over myself, since I couldn't get up to go to the bathroom. Since then, I can't stop thinking about guys. I think about them and get hard. I seek out gay porn and get hard. I've even talked to a co-worker who's gay about possibly getting it on with him. I'm not sure if the anethesia did this, but it's rather weird, since it just came out of the blue like this.

I think bisexuality is kind of ingrained, not learned. Maybe this is why all these feelings came back. Who knows?

[slaphappypud]

This is an easy one for me.
I had my first sexual encounter around the age 9. It was with a boy who was my best friend. It all stared with mutual masturbation and progessed from there. By the time we hit puberty we were having full out sex, alternating who was bottom depending upon our moods. During this time I somehow managed to have sex with all the other boys on my block, we even had a clubhouse and at times there would be as many as five of us having sex at the same time. Once I hit my early teens , I just quit becoming involved with these activities. Someone in our group had been the first to apply the term "gay" to what we were doing and it turned out to have a very chilling effect on me. I went into a hard denial. At age 17 I finally had sex with a female and continued living a type of self enforced hetrosexual lifestyle till I turned 27 (although during this time I would secretly use "toys" to penetrate myself and still had strong fantasies about my childhood friends). By this time I was already married and had a child and you would think I had put my feelings behind me. Actually the truth turned out to be just the opposite, the pressure built to the point of breaking me. Not the type to cheat, I let some presure off the only way I felt I could, I confessed to my wife, but that's another story all together. The short version is I found out through my confession that my wife harbored the same feelings and even had kept an encounter of her own hidden from me.
To answer the question, I certainly see bisexual as being natural.Most of my child hood friends are still bi with the exception of one who is now exclusively gay. Repression is unnatural..... and damaging!

[IceLion]

Hmmm... natural or learned? I'd say that it has been altogether natural for me. My first experience was with a boy in third grade, his name I still to this day remember. We were far too young to realize what it was that we were doing, but both of us enjoyed it all the same. We would go to his house and "do homework", what this translated into was touching and a form or wrestling. He moved away shortly after the summer before 4th grade and I didn't really delve back into it until middle school (junior high).

I hit puberty at a young age, I was 9 when I had my first wet dream. At this time students didn't take showers after P.E. and just stank the rest of the day. There was a guy from P.E. who I would walk home with; we would talk about this and that and then part ways at his door. I was always attracted to him, but never had the courage to say anything. After a while we became friends and started hanging out after school, usually just listening to music and doing homework. He was the first true sexual experience I had and I still have very fond memories of the time he and I spent together "experimenting".

I went a long time very confused and wondered whether I was gay or not. During the years that passed between middle school and high school I was sexually active with women only. After high school, I was involved with a woman for five years and though my attraction to men never ebbed, I still couldn't muster the courage to explore what I knew was so much a part of me.

Some years later, I met a wonderful man and fell head over heels with him. We spent nearly two years together and it was during that time that I truly realized what I had known all along. The small things that I attributed to curiosity, the feeling of longing when I looked at a beautiful woman, and the same feeling when I saw a good looking man. It took many years of exploring, but I knew all along, I was bi.

I went on for a bit, but this is really the first time I've ever told anyone other than my wife how I came to be what I am now, sexually that is. Thanks for listening.

-IceLion :flag3:

[mike9753]

To all the people who have contributed to this particular thread and who have related that they had an experience with a same sex person in their youth, let me ask:

What do you think would have happened if that encounter(s) had been with an opposite sex individual (vs. a same sexed person)? Do you think you'd define yourself as bisexual today? Or heterosexual? Or heterosexual but "bi friendly"?

I ask, because I believe that sex is such a powerful force. It is this incredible physical experience that is so pleasureable - both to your body, your minid and even some would say to your soul. Sex is the procreation activity. It is essential for the continuation of the species. And as many of you have said, it happened in secret, with a close friend, at an age where your experience and knowledge was limited. It was perhaps the most intense experience you had had in your young lives to that time. No one relate that they had an opportunity to talk it over with an adult - even someone sympathetic and non-judgemental.

So, if you have this experience, isn't it going to be associated with the gender of the person you had this experience with (along wth other cues)?

Now I am not suggesting that bisexuality does not exist. I think it does. But I am trying to stimulate discussion as about what and how something is learned vs. naturally occuring.

Mike

[slaphappypud]

What do you think would have happened if that encounter(s) had been with an opposite sex individual (vs. a same sexed person)? Do you think you'd define yourself as bisexual today? Or heterosexual? Or heterosexual but "bi friendly"?

Mike

I'm fairly sure the feelings would have been there, mostly due to my nature. I have always had a very stong sex drive, I'm adventuresome (in all aspects) and oddly enough I think the fact that I don't keep close friends would have impacted my sexuality as well. Let me throw in that I'm bull headed and a highly independant thinker as well. I think I would have approached my sexuality in a rational and thought out way and decided to try it. (This is what I do anyway!)

[whichway2005]

To answer mike9753's question, my first sexual encounter was with a girl in my class when I was in the sixth grade. We started out just touching then some oral and then that summer before 7th grade we had intercourse. We had some kind of sex every time we seen each other. While in the seventh grade I remember telling my best friend about how this girl would give me a blowjob and I actually asked him if I could give him a blowjob the way she does it and he agreed. This was the start of our bisexual relationship that lasted until 1978. I told this girl that I gave my best friend a blowjob the way she does and she thought it was a nice thing to do, she had no problem with it and by the end of the 7th grade she was having sex with another girl. The three of us remained good friends for years.
When I was in the 6th and seventh grade I had no knowlegde of bisexual or gay, I had not even heard these words except for gay and that meant you were happy or having fun. It was not until a couple years later that my friend and I even considered ourself to be bisexual. All through high school we both had girl friends but we kept our bisex to ourselves as did some of our other bi friends. After high school we still had a sexual relationship even through the first year of my first marriage. She really did not mind herself but she was more concerned what others would say because being bisexual or gay was a big taboo even for woman so that was when I agreed to stop the bisexual relationship.
That first blowjob to me was no differant than oral with that girl, I felt the same things so I would have to say that bisexual maybe a natural thing, at least for me. I have always and still do look at guys like I look at woman. In fact I stop for gas at the same station because of the people that work there. During the day there is a very nice gal and and night is this gay guy that is, well I have at times gotten a hard on by just talking to him. Thanks

[mikeg1961]

What do you think would have happened if that encounter(s) had been with an opposite sex individual (vs. a same sexed person)? Do you think you'd define yourself as bisexual today? Or heterosexual? Or heterosexual but "bi friendly"?


I should have clarified that the encounter with my friend was my first M-M. I had already been to bed with 2 girls before this. There was just something incredibly wild when it happened with him. It was like fireworks in my head. To this day, I still don't know why everything happened like it did. It left a really lasting impression, though, since I still remember that first time with him like it was yesterday.

[Disha]

What an interesting discussion~ I have always felt that sexuality is driven by the soul's need to connect, and that those connections should not be determined by gender. I have never understood why such a natural phenomenon, enjoyed by everyone, carries such stigma, and forces us all to hide from ourselves and from one another. I have been married to a man for 24 years and he never told me he enjoyed cross dressing and was bicurious. When I finally "caught him", we talked things through and realized the biggest issue between us was the secrecy, not our sexuality. Once the air was cleared our lives and our relationship opened. I have enjoyed getting more in touch with my own bisexuality, which I believe was always there. My brother's used to make fun of me for sneaking peeks at their Playboys when I was in high school. I just wish we could find more enlightened individuals to share our life with.

[LoveYourCum]

I am convinced that what is learned is the shunning of ones own sex. Left alone in an accepting environment I believe that sex would feel natural with any gender.

Society seems to equate the unfamiliar with bad almost across the board. Why unfamiliar things don't spark interest instead is quite beyond me. Add mythologies that have great influence but little modern relevence and it's a recipie for oppression with ritious indignation.

Such a waste. Love is so squandered.

[m.in.heels&hose]

this is a good question, i dont know if i am bi from natural causes, or if it was learned i feel in my case its a little of both

i was about 15 years old, and i was in my bedroom listening to music (head phones on) i was sitting in my bean bag chair, and all i had on was a pair of black pantyhose
and friends of the family "popped" in for a visit with their son, who was 17 and he wantedf to know where i was, and my mom told him i was in my room listening to records, so he came in (and was a little surprised to see what i was wearing) and he quietly took advantage of the situation, and forced me "to go down on him" (he was bigger and stronger than me) for as much as i tried, i could not manage an escape for my self, and i was a "repulsed" by the idea of having a penis in my mouth, but i other wise had no choice, so i did what i had to, until he came, (i instantly loved the taste and texture) and i immediately wanted more!!!

so in my case i think i needed that little "push"

sinse then i have come to grips with my sexuallity, and (because of this site, thank you drew) i have even come to embrace my sexuallity!!!and i have also found out i am not alone and i found others like me who are not afraid or scared of saying they are bi

i am still in the closet but if anyone askes me if i am bi, i dont lie or try to hide it or cover it up, i tell them that i am bi
(after all, if they ask, then they should be able to handle the truth)
:bigrin: ;)

[nakedambrosia]

Masturbation is the safest sexual experience one could have these days.

[2curioustwo]

I belive that sexuality is a natural thing. I'm a 32yo guy and was always interested in guys, I remember using various household items as dildos from about 12yo. I was also incredibly interested in girls but unfortunately even more shy!

Have always fantisied about a mmf threesome with the both the guy and girl paying attention to me. My first encounters were with ladies, didn't do anything about the m-m thing until about 5 years after my first g/f. When I finally did meet a guy I wondered why I hadn't done it years earlier. I love women but need the touch of a man too...

For me I thing the whole gay stigma makes me very cautious, I don't want everyone to know I'm bi, I know some straight people just don't understand. My wifes family and some collegues at work spring to mind here.

Given all this I know I'm naturally bi, its not a "lifestyle choice" for me but something thats a part of who I am.

[Bi-ten]

I am convinced that what is learned is the shunning of ones own sex. Left alone in an accepting environment I believe that sex would feel natural with any gender.

Society seems to equate the unfamiliar with bad almost across the board. Why unfamiliar things don't spark interest instead is quite beyond me. Add mythologies that have great influence but little modern relevence and it's a recipie for oppression with ritious indignation.

Such a waste. Love is so squandered.

LoveYourCum,

Big 'O' for these two important thoughts! Your first point I wish/suspect was true, but of course in absence of rigorous testing is hard to prove;) I am inclined to believe its true because I am naturally bi-sexual, and therefore feel as if it should be natural for everyone! To play devils advocate though, many many people do not feel this is natural, including people who are more 'socially acceptable' like heterosexuals, and those who are more (supposedly) open minded, like Lesbian and Gay people. You will find many of these people, on both sides of the fence just don't get us 'Bi-people'.

Of course your second point speaks to the non-acceptance we may experience by some people who 'just don't get us'. We are different, ergo we must be feared. This of course is a hugely human issue in serious need of correction:)

Interesting discussion,

[newbi60555]

my first guy was in college, when I was 17 or 18. we had class together, worked in the
same department, and did wine tastings together. We started getting affectionate, and
fondling each other, and worked through kissing to sucking.

much later, after I was married, I met up with a guy in a nearby suburb while his
wife was out of town. He sucked me off, and I went down on him. he had too much
beer to cum, but I've thought about that ever since, and want to do it again. I was
probably 42 or so at the time, and it was nice to get reacquanted with guys.

[DiamondDog]

I've done a lot of meditation on this and I've came to the conclusion that I've always been this way and that it's not something that was "learned" or "conditioned" even if a close minded het shrink once did tell me that. It's just something that I've gradually become more comfortable with over time and I'm open to fluidity in my sexuality and even in describing my gender.

I was raised with the idea that ALL guys were "sexual" with other guys as kids/teenagers and that it happened in adulthood too but nobody talked about it, and sometimes that's the case! (or they'll hide under the label of heterosexuality or saying that it was done all in fun or that they were "drunk" and didn't have any idea what/who they were doing :rolleyes: ).

[hedonic]

There is a web sit for maybe sum of us to check out. The information on it clearifies the bisexual life just a bit more. Please check it out. thanks, tp
http://gaylife.about.com/od/bisexual/a/biman.htm

[bibottom30064]

I believe it to be natural in my case. I started having m/f sex at 14 or 15 married at 17 and never touched my first cock till 25. The first time I touched a man I knew it was for me. Thirty six years later, still married and still sucking my buddies :bigrin:

[biman39]

I think I was born bi too. I had sex with guys for 10 years before I had sex with my wife...the only woman I have been with...for the first time on our wedding night.

j/o sessions led to giving head to fucking. It all seemed natural. I'm not ashamed and many of those guys are still bi too.

for 10 years I was monogomous to my wife. Then my past started coming through again. My wife now knows I would like to be with a guy, do a 3 way, etc, but she isn't into that. I have had several guys, but she doesn't know. I think it is in you and you have to go with it. Stuffing it would make me a very unhappy, screwed up man.

[jedinudist]

Although I'm not really at liberty to go into such detail about my early sexual life as some of the others here, I can honestly say that I was born Bisexual.

I was having sex at a very young age, but even before that started, I felt a strong curiosity and attraction to both genders. In fact, that curiosity is part of what caused me to begin having sex so early on in life.

At times, I have tried to force myself to be either heterosexual or homosexual, but it always ended in great frustration. I am Bisexual... and I am finally proud of it.

So, for me it is definately Naturally Bisexual.

:)

[Herbwoman39]

Nature vs Nurture is one of the oldest debates in the field of psychology. The general conclusion of the debate for most topics is that it is BOTH. We are born with certain tendencies and our exposure to certain things or situations when we are children does the rest.

I've blocked out big chunks of my childhood, but there are *some* things I know. Like I became obsessed with penises at age 5 when I saw my first. I was in Kindergarten and was told to go to the janitor's closet to wash off the finger paints. There was an older boy (6 or 7) using the urinal. I was hooked! I tried to see every penis I could after that. I even went through a stage where I tried to pee standing up. Yep. Penis envy.

Then, at around age 8 or 9 I started looking at my Mom's National Geographic mags. She's an artist soshe collected them as inspiration for her work. Anyone who grew up in my generation knows those mags were basically soft-core porn. Lots of half-naked native women running around. I used to love looking at those breasts and would purposely seek out those specific issues with native women. I think that may be part of the reson i'm attracted to women of color (God, I love Tracie Thoms) :bigrin:

Not long after that I found my mother's stash of Playgirl mags. I used to sneak downstairs late at night and look at them.

Unfortunately, somewhere in the 9-10 range I got the message that looking at women like that wasn't okay. So I translated my attraction to fit the phase "I appreciate the female form as art". Thus the next 28 years of denial began.

Which is why, I think, that when I had my first same sex experience at 15, I couldn't cope and it became "molestation" in my mind. Yeah, I was pretty messed up and if Lisa ever reads this (I have no idea where she is and I don't even remember her last name) I'm sorry for ever thinking that.

I think she was just as confused as I was. I just wish I had been better-equipped to handle the situation. Goodness knows I enjoyed it even though it was just kissing and a little light petting. I still had what I believe to be my first orgasm.

So my conclusion is that in my case, nature's great and in all likelyhood I was born Bi. It's nurture that screwed me up.

[open2both]

BORN AND NATURAL!!
Although in our predominantly "hetero" world we are forced to hide / supress our natural instincts until some unusual or forceful circumstance brings us out.
And thank gawd!
:flag2: :flag2: :flag2:

[Herbwoman39]

...until some unusual or forceful circumstance brings us out. And thank gawd!

Thats exactly what happened with me. Deny, deny, deny. And then one evening at a theater performance... BAM!

[Avocado]

BI-Natural or Learned?


How old were you when you had your first BI or Sexual encounter?

I have been reviewing my sexual life and found that I was born BI and horny. It all started when my older sister and I would play house. I was always the Husband or Son . I would work all day, when I came home, my ’play’ wife would kiss me. This would give me feelings in my crotch but I didn’t get hard until I asked her to wear lipstick. Needles to say, I was always willing to play house. As taboo as it was to be kissing my sister, yes tough and all, the lipstick just did something more to me.

It wasn’t long after that first kiss that my friends and I were skinning dipping in the creek. As we were drying off, I developed an erection looking at the other guys dicks. Before I knew it, I ask one of the guys if I could suck his dick and the rest is history. I also tried to screw the girl across the street, but she wouldn’t let me see what I was doing.

How old was I,,,This all happened before I turned 10 years old. I had other Bi encounters as a teenager and my first blow job to completion was at Montgomery Wards Men’s room. A ‘Glory hole”, with out the hole. LOL.

Its been over 30 years since I have had a BI Good Time, but I look at nude men pictures, wear women’s lingerie and use toys when I masturbate and I masturbate daily.

My signature tells all really. I'm intrigued by what you said about you and your sister. Good for you for having the courage to tell us about it, especially with incest being illegal. Just out of interest how would you kiss? And why do you call yourself a straight bi guy?

[doingitforus]

This such an awsome question Ill have to come back later and tell my story but I atleast want to quote a poster here now.
quote
During this period, I remember reading "The Harrad Experiment". For those who don't know the book, it was a story about several college age couples who end up living together in a house. They started out as pairs and as time progressed their relationship evolved so that they got together in various mixed groupings - threesomes, foursomes, homosexual pairings, etc. What I got from the book was that the author felt that human beings were sexual creatures and that as we evolve as a species, possessiveness in pairings will become a thing of the past and we will eventually learn how to give up jealousy and possessiveness and be free to engage in sex with other willing parties, regardless of gender and relationships with others. So perhaps this was an influence that allowed me to explore gay sex.
un quote

I agree with this very very much and later I will tell my story. After reading the first page, I am personally very excited about this thread. I hope more people will talk about the question. For now I just want to add a word to this and that is FREEDOM. Freedom to me is such a precious thing. Free minded people I admire the most. In such a wicked world and fast life I believe to many people forget about the time they have to live and do not think enough and the beauty of personal freedom in thier lives, do not do enough to include it in everything they do. Some people might even laugh at those words and think that even dreams of freedom arent worth the time. Even though ever since I can remeber I have recognized how powerful and important freedom is for the mind and experiences in my life...the way I want to live. It has only been five years since I have been able to to free my mind about having sex with another man. Wasnt easy and later I will post just how important it is and how proud you all should feel about doing it :)

[DaytonaOrmondGuy]

My first time.. I remember it being around when I was 9 or 10. It was with my older brother. It all started out with him jerking off and me walking in on it. He asked if I have ever done it and of course I said no.. he asked if I wanted him to do it to me and without me answering, he starts taking off my pj's and proceeds to jerk me off.. Being the younger brother I couldn't fight him off of me, but it felt so good... we continued to play around with one another for almost 8 years off and on taking it up to sucking one another, but never to completion via the mouth.. after that time, I have married and have been married for almost 11 years now.. Just recently have gone further with a friend I met online (other site). Ended up being the first guy that I have swallowed and even gone as far as intercourse... So, to answer the question, for me it was bi-learned, but not disappointed by the experiences.

[ddbmma]

"Bisexuality is a natural state. Choosing sides is not." -- Zira

Thank you, could not have said it better.

[Tynary]

I guess its a matter of opinion. I will never know. I had my first feelings I was by at 11 and thats all I'll say. I think I might have been born this way. I think it was going to happen since there is so much different about me. I often feel like I don't fit as if I come from somewhere else. My personality is Bi in every way not just sexuality. I was born Bi.

[smokey]

Bisexuality is'nt learned but I am willing to teach you. :bigrin: :bigrin: :bigrin:

[doingitforus]

This such an awsome question Ill have to come back later and tell my story but I atleast want to quote a poster here now.
quote
During this period, I remember reading "The Harrad Experiment". For those who don't know the book, it was a story about several college age couples who end up living together in a house. They started out as pairs and as time progressed their relationship evolved so that they got together in various mixed groupings - threesomes, foursomes, homosexual pairings, etc. What I got from the book was that the author felt that human beings were sexual creatures and that as we evolve as a species, possessiveness in pairings will become a thing of the past and we will eventually learn how to give up jealousy and possessiveness and be free to engage in sex with other willing parties, regardless of gender and relationships with others. So perhaps this was an influence that allowed me to explore gay sex.
un quote

I agree with this very very much and later I will tell my story. After reading the first page, I am personally very excited about this thread. I hope more people will talk about the question. For now I just want to add a word to this and that is FREEDOM. Freedom to me is such a precious thing. Free minded people I admire the most. In such a wicked world and fast life I believe to many people forget about the time they have to live and do not think enough and the beauty of personal freedom in thier lives, do not do enough to include it in everything they do. Some people might even laugh at those words and think that even dreams of freedom arent worth the time. Even though ever since I can remeber I have recognized how powerful and important freedom is for the mind and experiences in my life...the way I want to live. It has only been five years since I have been able to to free my mind about having sex with another man. Wasnt easy and later I will post just how important it is and how proud you all should feel about doing it :)

Ok i cant edit my post here about 5 up so ill just add here.

OK , wow, where to start. Hmmmmm owell , Freedom and the question oh yeah the question. Born Bi or learned. Well learned or aquired for me. Like many here I was very young about 8 just before puberty lol. Boy next door was a friend I liked his two sisters too they were hot. One would shower in the basement, they were good brothers and would let me watch her sometime throguh the window :) Anyway one of the older brother decided to tell me what a blow job was one day. So some ocassional oral started. I didnt know much about the world but I know I was made to believe that boys didnt have furburgers and so anything like that with boys was wrong. So we started haveing some brief oral meetings together. Never planned always few and far between. I was always terrified someone would find out but it did feel very good even though 99 percent of the time I wasnt even able to cum yet.
A few times this kid even brought his older brother around, none of the meetings ever lasted for a really long time. I suppose at the time I mostly against it I had several girl friends some I got to make out with alot until my parents started to fear a pregnacy and kinda banned me from spending alot of time with a couple of my older girlfriends. So like alot of you here i was very young it was kids experimenting, i liked it but i was a very shy kid even though I had a girl in grade school who I would kiss sometimes through 1st and 4th grade even though every time meant a couple swats with a paddle.

Well back to the boys next door. Well they really started a major debate in my mind. They were very good looking guys. Its funny I almost never think of them. But Ill share with you all this.... Imagine the most beautiful thick and long dicks you have ever seen in your life...... The last time I went to go see one of my friends was sometimearound 7th grade. I stayed the ight at thier new house and we both came all over the place. I got really scared after that. I just stayed away , after high school they all left town.

Sad to say I didnt have positive to say about this kind of sex until about five years ago. I would sometimes think about it but rarely got turned on about doing it again. Time passed, It was worth it to be alright with someday haveing this sex with another man. I am very proud of it as anyone should be to be so free.

[doingitforus]

What an interesting discussion~ I have always felt that sexuality is driven by the soul's need to connect, and that those connections should not be determined by gender. I have never understood why such a natural phenomenon, enjoyed by everyone, carries such stigma, and forces us all to hide from ourselves and from one another. I have been married to a man for 24 years and he never told me he enjoyed cross dressing and was bicurious. When I finally "caught him", we talked things through and realized the biggest issue between us was the secrecy, not our sexuality. Once the air was cleared our lives and our relationship opened. I have enjoyed getting more in touch with my own bisexuality, which I believe was always there. My brother's used to make fun of me for sneaking peeks at their Playboys when I was in high school. I just wish we could find more enlightened individuals to share our life with.

I aggree and this is what I thought about and started to understand when I heard about 7 years ago Paul Stanley of KISS is a very BI guy. The person who said this I think was the siinger of Megadeath Steve M. I watched in shock as he again said yes Paul is Bisexual he just really loves people and doesnt let any rules get in the way. OK I was in complete shock!!! As a kid I was just a average Kiss fan but I also understood that the girls went completely crazy for these guys. I also have always know that Gene Simmons as far as I know might have Hue Hefner beaten, last I heard he has slept with 10000 women !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well I was just so surprised that someone who had all of these women worshiping them would want sex with another man. Rockstar freedom .........................hmmmmmmmmmmm. :)

[doingitforus]

BI-Natural or Learned?


How old were you when you had your first BI or Sexual encounter?

I have been reviewing my sexual life and found that I was born BI and horny. It all started when my older sister and I would play house. I was always the Husband or Son . I would work all day, when I came home, my ’play’ wife would kiss me. This would give me feelings in my crotch but I didn’t get hard until I asked her to wear lipstick. Needles to say, I was always willing to play house. As taboo as it was to be kissing my sister, yes tough and all, the lipstick just did something more to me.
masturbate daily.

Ok last one for today. Alright I have seen a couple about brothers and sisters and thought Id add mine too. I had a half sister that was very attractive. Strait A kinda brain. Grad. as a Chemical Eng. and became some hotshot with some big company out west. I didnt get to be very close with her. I only saw her on special occasions and sometimes when she wasnt in school. I think the last time was around 18 she stayed with for a bit on break. She was much older than I was and even though I think sex in the familey is very dangerous, scary and should never cause pain to anyone. I would love to fantasize about her sometimes. Since I had a couple of girlfriends at the time and very horney one day I thought I would see if I could find one of her panties. To my surprise just after the door they were there on the floor and I still wonder if she masterbated in them just for me, they were very wet and very sweet. Oh yeah ..........wow.

[Avocado]

Well this solves the "missing" post question. Looks like I just stopped getting notifications :eek: not sure if it was off the main page if I looked or if I was just looking for something I'd been the last to post in :tong:

I have a question about Paul Stanley. There's an RHCP release called "Funky Festival" where Keidis slags off wet wet wet quite a few times, but after suck my kiss says "that was actually a song about Paul Stanley", with the about emphasised. Did he have something to do with wet wet wet and kiss?

[KevsBi]

I think it's natural. For as long as I can remember, both boys and girls looked good to me. I had a best friend in my 'tween' years and we would always have sleepovers or campouts at each others houses since we lived on the same street. Right around the age of 13 or so we would take off our underwear at some point in the night and play with ourselves seperately.
I remember how excited I would get watching him walk across the bedroom naked but I could'nt understand why I was excited. One night we finally started rubbing on each other naked...we did'nt know what to do...it just felt good :rolleyes: Sadly his family moved to another state shortly after that and I never saw him again. Looking back it would be easy to assume that eventually we would have 'figured it out' and gone all the way.
Time moved on and I finally had sex with a girl a couple of years later but always wondered what it would be like to be with a guy.
I always had girlfriends but discreetly checked the guys out in the gym showers, the beach, etc.
Then it finally happened....my sophomore year in college...the roomate I was paired off with was a closet bisexual. Needless to say it does'nt take long for a 20 year old bisexual guy and a 19 year old bicurious guy to get something going. It was the 80's and we were very discreet about it.
I've had a couple of flings with other guys since then...it's just something that will always be with me. I never 'learned' this feeling...it's just a desire I have, or maybe a craving :confused:

[wanderingrichard]

it's gotta be natural.. i mean, we're very sophisticated animals, but deep down we're all animals.. and we've all seen pics or the real thing of wilder animals out there attempting to do each other regardless of the others critters sex. [ remember the dance song, "you and me baby...." aka, the discovery channel song?]

what i think is unatural is forced heterosexuality...being straight just to fit into the local societal norm.

old saying, "a hard dick has no conscience" comes to mind.

yeah i know this leaves a lot of dangling :rolleyes: unsaid things. right now i could probably fill the page with old tired cliches like the one above. why bother?

learn to accept what and who you are. you'll be amazed at how many actually could care less . the ones who do reject you , well, they have more serious troubles of their own.

[eods79]

I know for me it all began when I was like 12 or 13. My friend and I would stay over each others houses during the summer. This one night, it was so hot that we ended up just taking our clothes off. We began playing "games" and the rest was history....

[12voltman59]

If Drew makes a poll for this issue--my vote will be that bisexuality is totally natural---

I do have my theory about the basis of bisexuality---I believe it's origin goes far beyond anything purely physical or has a "rational/scientific" basis---bisexuality's origin in my view--comes from what can be considered the metaphysical.

I have been trying to write out in a succinct manner--something I am having trouble doing---my philosophy on the subject--if I ever do succeed--maybe I will share it----

[Dougie]

BI-Natural or Learned?


How old were you when you had your first BI or Sexual encounter?

I have been reviewing my sexual life and found that I was born BI and horny. It all started when my older sister and I would play house. I was always the Husband or Son . I would work all day, when I came home, my ’play’ wife would kiss me. This would give me feelings in my crotch but I didn’t get hard until I asked her to wear lipstick. Needles to say, I was always willing to play house. As taboo as it was to be kissing my sister, yes tough and all, the lipstick just did something more to me.

It wasn’t long after that first kiss that my friends and I were skinning dipping in the creek. As we were drying off, I developed an erection looking at the other guys dicks. Before I knew it, I ask one of the guys if I could suck his dick and the rest is history. I also tried to screw the girl across the street, but she wouldn’t let me see what I was doing.

How old was I,,,This all happened before I turned 10 years old. I had other Bi encounters as a teenager and my first blow job to completion was at Montgomery Wards Men’s room. A ‘Glory hole”, with out the hole. LOL.

Its been over 30 years since I have had a BI Good Time, but I look at nude men pictures, wear women’s lingerie and use toys when I masturbate and I masturbate daily.

Hi Im a bit like you, I found I was Bi some years ago and since that time looking at men porn turns me on. I also like to wear ladies panties, stockings and bras, I also have a couple of dresses I like to wear, I have a male friend whose really turned on with my dressing up and I have found I love being submissive when having sex.

[timepga50]

I was very young 10 or 11,when I realized that I liked to dress up in my sister's clothes.For reasons I did'nt understand at the time this made me very horny.By 13,I could'nt wait until mom and sis would go shopping or something,I would put on sis's panties and clothes and makeup and parade around in front of a full length mirror then I would so hot ,I would mastubate pretending I was getting fucked in the ass. So I can defintinly say that being Bi is natural.

[darkeyes]

Prob born bi... don think it mattas tho! Me no wot I am now..at end of day thats all that mattas! :tongue: