Crush on straight guy [Archive]

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cmc5818

Dec 9, 2006, 12:00 PM

So, I was on a trip to Montreal, and I had to stay in a room with 3 other guys. Two didn't interest me, but the third was fun to be around and was pretty cute. In fact, I had to sleep in the same bed as him, and it was pure torture.:eek: I think I have a crush on him, but as far as I can tell, he's completely straight. He lives about 3 hours from me. Anyone else ever have a crush on a straight guy? Any advice on getting over it? :smilies12

bicentaur

Dec 9, 2006, 3:42 PM

hey cmc, i was just thinking about starting a discussion about falling for straight guys.. i was wondering if others feel the same, that bi-guys are more attracted to 'straight' men..

nearly asked a mate out recently but before i popped the question, he said he's not into dating at the moment.. which made me think.. sometimes it's not really about sexual preference, if there isn't a click right from the start, why bother pursuing something that's not gonna happen..

hope this makes a bit o' sense..

LoveLion

Dec 9, 2006, 3:50 PM

hat bi-guys are more attracted to 'straight' men.

I dont think that is true. I think bi guys can be equally attrated to gay straight and bi men. But because the majority of men are straight, it just seems that we are attracted to straight men more. Look at it this way: if you had a sample of 1 000 000 random guys picked from the western world and then a group of bi guys went through and picked out the 100 they were most attracted to you would find that most of them would be straight. Not because Bi men are more attracted to straight guys, but rather that there is just more of the, so naturally it would seem that most the guys we become attracted to are straight.

cmc5818

Dec 9, 2006, 6:22 PM

Not because Bi men are more attracted to straight guys, but rather that there is just more of the, so naturally it would seem that most the guys we become attracted to are straight.
I suppose that's true. But where I live, it's not exactly easy to go around and ask 'Are you bi/gay?'. Good way to get beaten up. :( Sometimes you can tell, and other times you can't. Perhaps some day I'll ask this guy...

DiamondDog

Dec 9, 2006, 6:31 PM

I get attracted to het men but I know that I can just look at the menu I can't order from it. ;)

I like how a lot of them are very handsome and a lot of the time they don't even know it!

wookie

Dec 9, 2006, 6:52 PM

i know exactly how you feel. Try being attracted to your beset friend. It is absolute torture...

MrFahrenheit

Dec 9, 2006, 9:14 PM

i know exactly how you feel. Try being attracted to your beset friend. It is absolute torture...

Ouch. I'm glad my friends aren't attractive at all lol. >_>

cmc5818

Dec 10, 2006, 3:10 AM

i know exactly how you feel. Try being attracted to your beset friend. It is absolute torture...
Oh, I know exactly what you mean. My best friend is hot. And perfectly straight...although some of the things he says and does around me make me wonder. But this other guy affected me in a much different way. There's a couple of sayings about either opposites attracting or you being attracted to someone just like yourself. My best friend falls into the first category, this other guy into the second. It kind of pulls at the heartstrings.

Boy, I'm melancholy tonight. ;) I think that's the word I want.

Mrs. Taz

Dec 10, 2006, 7:19 AM

well, im female so i married my str8 guy.......hehe. :) but I had and still have a thing for a str8 woman that i used to work with, cant get her off my mind at times, not sure how it happened but think i somehow fell inlove with her. we never really talked at all or anything. we talk even less now since i dont ever really see her cause i dont work there now, and dont get out much. sorry i cant help ya but thought i would just let ya know ur not alone on this. :)

mannysg

Dec 10, 2006, 10:33 AM

i was wondering if others feel the same, that bi-guys are more attracted to 'straight' men..
..

I suspect that it only seems that way because it's so difficult to tell if someone is bi. If you were to meet me on the street, in a bar, at work, etc. you'd think that I was straight. If/when I felt comfortable with someone (i.e. I feel that they won't spread rumors, or worse), I will loosen up a bit and will give subtle clues to indicate that I'm not completely stright.

bicentaur

Dec 12, 2006, 1:08 PM

pcrunchy

Mar 18, 2007, 12:40 AM

hmm.. think i didn't make myself completely clear earlier..

what i wanted to ask was - do you think bi-guys are more attracted to 'straight-acting' men?? (i don't like using that term, but i suppose it does explain this better)..

or perhaps are 'straight-acting' men more attractive even among gay folk?? opinions anyone??..

I can't speak for every guy out there, but to me the "straight-acting" guys are hotter about 9 times out of 10. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with a more effeminate guy, it's just not usually my thing. That said, I'm told I act pretty straight myself, so maybe I'm just attracted to guys I feel I have something in common with.

TaylorMade

Mar 18, 2007, 12:55 AM

hmm.. think i didn't make myself completely clear earlier..

what i wanted to ask was - do you think bi-guys are more attracted to 'straight-acting' men?? (i don't like using that term, but i suppose it does explain this better)..

or perhaps are 'straight-acting' men more attractive even among gay folk?? opinions anyone??..

The more I get to know bi guys, the more I know I am attracted to "Traditionally Masculine" men. I think it has to do with expectations. If a man is going to be with a man , he wants it to feel like he's with another guy, and not with someone who could be mistaken for a woman in attitude... it's like why many bisexual/lesbian women who don't have sexual intrest in butches/studs.

*Taylor*

Resurrection

Mar 18, 2007, 12:56 AM

I can't speak for every guy out there, but to me the "straight-acting" guys are hotter about 9 times out of 10. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with a more effeminate guy, it's just not usually my thing. That said, I'm told I act pretty straight myself, so maybe I'm just attracted to guys I feel I have something in common with.

"straight acting" is such a BS term. If you're sexually attracted to men you're not "straight".

pcrunchy

Mar 18, 2007, 2:47 AM

"straight acting" is such a BS term. If you're sexually attracted to men you're not "straight".

Well of course not, that's not what I'm saying.

There are, however guys who speak, act and dress in a manner which is seen as "conforming" to that which is considered stereotypically "gay."

I don't think I act "straight" or "gay," and it's not something I usually think about. Most people tell me that they would have thought me to be straight, and I generally find myself attracted to guys (straight or not) that people would say the same thing of.

ambi53mm

Mar 18, 2007, 8:20 AM

Attractions are subjective and unique no matter what your orientation. It seems easier for me to recognize my attractions with the opposite sex because they usually tend to be more physical in the begining. With a male it takes delving deeper into the psyche and is based more on common or shared interests. I feel more comfortable around certain types of male personalities than others and really look for that balance or blend of the masculine and feminine rather than the extremes. My demeanor comes off as straight and it's natural so that when I do feel comfortable enough to share that my orientation is bi it usually comes off as a surprise rather than "I thought so".
I've lost or damaged some very close friendships over the years by being too eager to divulge that part of myself in attempt to take those friendships to another level. The very few relationships that I have enjoyed where sex took place were with males pretty much like myself and usually came about after both of us hemmed and hawwed around the subject over the course of time. Once the truth was revealed and the journey down that road begun tho..those relationships have usually lasted several years.
It took a very special female to finally say yes I could spend the rest of my lifetime with this person and not feel empty or that something in my life was missing. I'd love to have a male friend to fill those random areas of desire especially the bonding asspect but have not as of yet.
My sex drive isn't as strong as it was when I was younger and I found out last year that trying to maintain two relationships sexually was more than I could handle...I guess the grass isn't always greener LOL Fortunatlely I have more than enough memories to sustain me through this lifetime...and you never know what tomorrow will bring

Ambi :)