New to this.

[curious_one1977]

Hi all. I am a 29 year old mother of four and I have recently found myself wanting to be with women. This is something that I have never experienced before and quite frankly I don't know how to feel about it. Not only that, what do I do about it? I have never been with a woman before, but the thought makes me very hot.

I have always been in het relationships, and I know that I love to be with men. There is no doubt in my mind that I like guys. I guess my question is this: Do I try it and see what happens or do I go on like it doesn't exsit? And what about my kids? They are all boys, how is this going to effect them?

HELP!!!!

[anne27]

Sounds to me like you may be bisexual, or at the very least 'bi curious'. What you do about your desires will take some thought and soul searching on your part. You've come to the right place for answers. If you check around the forum, you'll find a lot of people in circumstances similar to your own.

Welcome to the board!

[Tynary]

Personnaly I think it would be benificial for you to at some pointpursue this desire. There is little point in pretending something doesn't exist if it obviously does. besides if you don't try being with a woman you may never know if you are really sraight or not but I think taking your time and not freting about it is avisable. As for your children I'm sure they are excepting open minded good kids if you raised them and you hold those values. I have made my male friends who were not at all open minded except me if not the rest of my community. They are your children and they will always love you.

[SLIMES]

You don't say whether you are married or not, so unlike others I'm not going to dive in with suggestions of experimentation.

If you're married, you have to bare that in mind as it makes things more complicated. Can you apporach your husband on this? If not then you have to consider whether or not you are really prepared to act on your fantasies because it will ultimatly have consequences if you do.

If you're not married then why not? You're not breaking any rules. :tong:

Are you married? is the big question.

All the best, SLIMES

[canuckotter]

I agree with Slimes on this... If you're in a relationship (not necessarily married), then your partner has a say too. Cheating is rarely a good solution. Of course, if you're not in a relationship, then there's no reason not to explore it if you have someone you want to explore it with who's amenable to the idea... :)

As for your kids... It doesn't need to affect them one way or the other. Kids are pretty adaptable, in my experience... They might take a little while to figure out how things work, but they can wrap their heads around things that adults seem to have a hard time with. But if all you're doing is experimenting, and you're not comfortable telling them that you're going on a date with another woman (and there are perfectly valid reasons why you may not be comfortable with that) then you can just as easily say you're going out for an evening with a friend, or whatever.

Oh, and welcome to the site! :bigrin:

[shameless agitator]

As far as whether or not to act on your feelings, I don't really have anything to add. The others have said it for me. As far as the kids, I say give them some credit. It's very possible they've figured this out before you did. I occasionally tell people the story of when my ex came out to our kids. She'd fretted over it for months & had been having this huge identity crisis over her orientation. When she finally came out to herself, she sat teh boys down & told them she was gay. Our middle child, who was 14 at the time looked at her and said "Mom, we've known that for 2 years now. Haven't you?". When I came out to my family it was pretty much the same. My mother's reaction was "so it's official now huh?". Whenever I tell iether of these stories, somebody invariably has one that's similar. My point is, even if they haven't consciously come to the realization, this probably won't be the big shock to them that you're envisioning.