Are such views wrong?

[Bisexual765]

So yeah, not to start a debate here or anything. But on another forum, there was a thread where bisexuals complained about bi teens acting immature and such. I replied that adult bisexuals can be just as immature, because many of them choose to only marry/date women because "girls are so cute and beautiful but boys are boring" or to only marry/date men because "pussy is meh but penis is the best thing in the world and women don't have it". The replies were that I am "too harsh towards people who discovered their sexuality when being in marriage and insulting those who chose to marry a man and not a woman.

I mean, I see people complaining about the "I find all women attractive but only 1 out of 10 men" mindset everywhere so why should the "I won't date girls because they don't have penises" mindset be any more acceptable?

I tried to explain that I never meant anything bad towards people who decided to get married and give up the other gender but my comments already received so many thumbs down that I doubt explaining myself will fix anything anyway

[zbi73]

I doubt anything you say is going to have an effect, they've made up their mind. For some it's all about sex, they will never entertain the idea of a romantic connection to the same sex so will only marry the opposite and others are more a kin to the idea of a romantic relationship with both, whichever comes along first. I don't think it's immature to go with whatever your heart desires, we all have preferences. I think the "I find all women attractive but only 1 out of 10 men" comment might just mean they're not an equal bisexual, it's a preference and one comment is not more acceptable than the other, it's simply how they feel. For some, giving up the other gender after they get married is commitment, it probably doesn't mean they may not get the itch or the occasional desire, they suppress them rather than act upon them and for some, it's to give the illusion they're straight, to conform to what society deems they should. They're not any less bisexual than those who still have sex with both. It matters not, it's their choice. Bisexuality is a journey and for some it takes time to really accept what they want, other's seem to do it overnight. Everyone's journey is different, I went from curious to a 1, 2, 3 and then a 4 on the Kinsey scale. It may not be my final value, sexuality is fluid and it's how I feel at this point in time. I'm just basing it on what floats my boat. If the right women came along then I'd definitely want to explore.

Why does it matter if they thumb down the comment? I wouldn't take it to heart. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, no one is an expert and there's always people that take offense and even some look for it so it doesn't really matter what you say, some will agree, some won't.

[Bisexual765]

Yeah, I know that most bisexuals aren't 50/50 and can have a preference. And they don't neccesarily choose their preference, neither. But, I mean when they choose to date one gender over the other because of a body part. Would it make sense for someone to really like a man but turn him down anyway just because he doesn't have boobs?
I know most bisexuals with a preference aren't like this but such people do exist and I think their mindsets don't really make sense, because to me it's comparable to the cases when men choose one girl over another because she has bigger boobs or because she has blonde hair while the other has black, but to each their own.

[KDaddy23]

This sounds familiar. Are there true "50/50" bisexuals? I suppose there are but, by and large, the 50/50 thing is more myth than reality. We almost routinely see folks quantifying their bisexuality to some degree or another, stating their preferences - and preferences that are usually locked in lead and deemed to be unchangeable... while often supporting how fluid sexuality can be. It's not a matter of maturity or the lack thereof: It's a lack of understanding what bisexuality is at its core while overlaying heteronormative behaviors - like dating, creating one's own definitions about what it attractive and what isn't, stuff like that and, of course, when someone comes along and punches holes in this behavior, some flaming is sure to happen.

Refusing to date women because they don't have a dick? Pretty silly, huh? Likewise refusing to date men because only 1 in 10 is attractive? Equally silly. This isn't immaturity - this is being pretty clueless and since there isn't one really definitive definition for bisexuality - and there's no one definitive way to b bisexual , people make up their own definitions, rules of attraction, dating preferences and otherwise trying to set themselves apart from everyone else who is bisexual and, in the process, appear to be immature. There's also been this... thing going around that insists that if you're not in a same-sex relationship - and I'm guessing that dissing the opposite sex is being implied - then you're not really bisexual. Ignorance... not immaturity.

There are a thousand or more members here and none of us are bisexual in the exact same way; some of us still think women are the shit but dick is pretty damned good while some would prefer not to be bothered with women. There are members for which attraction - and their idea of attraction - is everything and there are members here who are all about the dick and fuck what the guy looks like because his looks do nothing for him; to that end, I don't know how many times I've been told that I'm not really bisexual because I don't find men attractive and definitely not in the same way I find women attractive. I've had non-bisexuals - and quite a few bisexuals - tell me that if I'm not being fucked by men all of the time, there's no way I can be bisexual - this is ignorance, not immaturity on their part as well.

What can you do about these differences of opinion? Not a whole lot, really. You can state your case and position and it's either going to be accepted or you will be flamed. Is it wrong to have your own views and perceptions in this? No, it isn't... but sometimes, the group gestalt will insist that you are - it happens. You note this and, if you're being true to yourself, you do not let this derision sway you from your understanding of bisexuality. Ever. I'm no card-carrying expert... but I do know what I know and as you guys know - if you've read stuff I've written here - I know some shit about this.

[mot_bc]

The challenge is the tendency of so many people to think in terms of labels, like there are some well defined boxes to fit everyone into. For both sexes there are a wide spectrum of bisexual behaviors in terms of preferences for frequency, for what triggers the need, the object of their thoughts, lust, or love, and what they like to do and how they do it. Or whether they want one relationship at a time, or multiple, or any number of types of contact or relations. And who they want to relate with and why. We shouldn't waste time arguing about labels, or litmus tests as to whether a person, their behavior, or their comments fit in a group or fit someone's assumptions. So if some folks disagree it with you on this, ignore it, you have better things to do.

[tenni]

People who realize that they are bisexual, often realize over time that their attraction to men and women is fluid. What they decide to do about their attraction, may vary over time. Some people who have just realized that they are attracted to both genders may find a feeling or swing slowly or rapidly. (in extreme you may wake up only attracted to opposite sex and at noon find that attraction is gone to be replaced by being very attracted to same sex.(I've read such reports but extreme shifts fluidly is rare) I think that a lot of such people struggle with emotional attraction to both genders. It seems easier for some people (mainly men) to stick with physical attraction of body parts than explore emotional same sex attraction. That may take time becoming comfortable with yourself and so you find some people middle age and just awakening sexually.

I think that it is probably wrong by judging what another person is attracted to.

[Bisexual765]

I'm not denying that they're bisexual, neither. It's just that "I turned him down bc he's a man and doesn't have boobs" sounds weird

[Neonaught]

My bi wife and I both lean just slightly more to the opposite sex. We know what we like and act accordingly.

[playful808]

I'm not denying that they're bisexual, neither. It's just that "I turned him down bc he's a man and doesn't have boobs" sounds weird

Fortunately, there are plenty of big guys with big hairy boobs.