I'm having trouble getting really hard and I go somewhat soft while having sex.

[BearLover]

Last time I went over a guys house to have sex (it was my first time), I was fucking him from behind and I enjoyed it but I'm having trouble keeping that sexual energy as well as keeping my dick like a rock, my erections are hard but I'm losing sensitivity in my erections, when standing up they are like 90 degrees from my legs, my dick doesn't point up like a really hard erection it just points out, horizontal.

I am attracted to men as well as women but when having sex with him I didn't feel that kind of sexual energy until I was going really fast, towards the end I couldn't cum and was really trying to cum but couldn't, I had to pull my dick out have a wank but then I came, I was on my back, I'm used to squirting on my back, towards the end of a wank I feel the sexual energy build up, I know I'm about to cum but I get to a point where I'm about to cum, I try to hold it in, in order to carry on but it doesn't work, I just cum, I usually pull down on my scrotum to keep the cum in but it's hard to do.

On another occassion at home alone I'm wanking then it goes soft, I manage to cum but in order to have a really nice cumshot you have to be really hard and feel as if you can't hold it anymore, well I was not that hard and didn't feel as if I couldn't hold it anymore.

When having sex with the guy, I did enjoy it but kept on going and it felt as if nothing was happening, I didn't feel so horny even though my dick was inside him, I used to get really horny but after wanking so much my libido has gone down, last summer I felt extremely horny and was wanking three times a day, my cock was so hard sometimes it was painful, but now it's semi hard, I have an erection, it's in between a semi and fully erect. I used to squeeze on my perinium when wanking, I think maybe I've weakened it, my perinium used to bulge up when hard but now it just doesn't so much, it doesn't stimulate the erection like it used to do.

On the first night when having sex with this guy, I stopped because I couldn't cum, we didn't do any foreplay, we were doing blowjobs for a little while and it just doesn't make me cum, I'm not so sensitive anymore, he kept on tossing me off but nothing happened, I didn't have any desire to cum. I'm not sure if wanking too much has done this but what could I do to strengthen it up and make myself desire to cum really bad.

It's best when you're having sex when you're trying not to hold cum in and not let it out, you have the sexual energy to squirt and dying for it but you carry on, this is good sex. When you're having sex and you're trying to cum but it's not so easy, where your working for a cumshot, it's not good, it's one small cumshot that was kind of pleasurable but nothing compared to dying to cum for half an hour, then you squirt hard.

My dick is about 8.5 inch when hard but still I think it's down the perineum being weak.

[pole_smoker]

Are you sexually attracted to the men who you are having sex with?

Do you use condoms? Some men apparently go soft from using those.

Do you drink or take drugs before or during sex?

Do you feel nervous or anxious having sex with a stranger?

Do you not really enjoy anal sex but only do it because the man wants it done?

Based on what you posted, if any of the above are true you may have the reason why you are going limp.

[Tim56Mn]

do you have dieabeats

[Neonaught]

I recommend using a cock ring around the base of your shaft. When engaged in prolonged activities (the best kind!) they have always helped me maintain.
.

[Hypersexual11]

I agree with Pole. Most of us will have our libidos change. Sometimes way up, sometimes down so don't sweat that. Sex with this guy though, isn't turning you on. If he is your only hope for mm sex and you want to keep it going, you need to talk to him. You aren't getting what you need and he needs to know that. He obviously wants to make you happy, but neither of you has any idea how to do that. You have passionate sex with women, right? What's different? You probably aren't walking up to a woman pulling your pants off, talking about last nights game and only stop talking to stick your face in a crotch. I bet if you guys strip and make out for awhile, the passion will build. He may not be into this so be ready to either be let down or look elsewhere. Good luck!

[liberlib]

I have a similar problem but it is with my wife as well. I have a full or nearly full erection every day but once it sticks in someplace it goes soft and usually shrinks. This does not stop my enjoyment but it bothers me I can not fully satisfy my partners. I have tried a cock ring and it doesn't seem to help but it be the cock ring is the wrong type/size.

[pole_smoker]

I agree with Pole. Most of us will have our libidos change. Sometimes way up, sometimes down so don't sweat that. Sex with this guy though, isn't turning you on. If he is your only hope for mm sex and you want to keep it going, you need to talk to him. You aren't getting what you need and he needs to know that. He obviously wants to make you happy, but neither of you has any idea how to do that. You have passionate sex with women, right? What's different? You probably aren't walking up to a woman pulling your pants off, talking about last nights game and only stop talking to stick your face in a crotch. I bet if you guys strip and make out for awhile, the passion will build. He may not be into this so be ready to either be let down or look elsewhere. Good luck!

Indeed it sounds like the original poster is not sexually attracted to the men he's having sex with.

Or maybe he gets nervous, or has cold feet when they're actually having sex for the first time?

[jackbirdjay]

I have a similar problem but it is with my wife as well. I have a full or nearly full erection every day but once it sticks in someplace it goes soft and usually shrinks. This does not stop my enjoyment but it bothers me I can not fully satisfy my partners. I have tried a cock ring and it doesn't seem to help but it be the cock ring is the wrong type/size.
Try seeing a doc. Had the same thing I had very low-t. Using a gel helped me

[TXLonestarTX69]

Try seeing a doc. Had the same thing I had very low-t. Using a gel helped me

A word of caution about TRT...supplementing testosterone will signal your testicles that there is enough and they will stop producing it eventually. There also really aren't any studies that have been done to determine the long term effects of t replacement. It's always best to try the good old fashion way of t elevation, which includes proper nutrition and exercise, specifically lifting heavy things...like weights. There are also a couple of amino supplements that contribute to NO2 production, a necessary ingredient for erections. Google Citrilluline Mallate and Arginine.

I was beginning to have a little difficulty a couple years back and did all of the above. I lost weight and put on 16 pounds of lean muscle. I eat a very clean diet (very, very little processed food (a.k.a. poison)), lift weights 3 days per week, do cardio 3 days per week, and take 1.5GM of Citrulline and 500MG of Arginine each morning. My erections are literally harder than when I was 20. My T level went from 352 to 610 in 3 months.

I know we live in an age where there can be better living through chemistry, but in the realm of testosterone, that's not necessarily true. An overall healthy lifestyle will help to curb many other health issues as well.

[Dunmor]

Heart issues?

[Gearbox]

It's just a state of mind IMO. I say 'just' but your state of mind counts for everything with sex, so it IS very important.
As that was your first time with a man (?), all kinds of things may have been running through your head distracting you from your 'sexual energy'. Pressure to perform is a cock killer, as is worrying that you'll lose your erection too.
Ironically, not giving a fuck, helps to give a fuck sometimes.:tongue:

Relax! Chill out! Don't make it a big deal! And if you need a little extra to keep your horn, you have a MASSIVE library of sexy scenarios in your head to browse through while your loosing sensation in sexy Steve etc.

[liberlib]

I have been getting Testosterone. Latest tests shows I am producing more than normal and I probably will be taken off of it (I was below 200 and now above 1100). Viagra does not appear to work. I have been doing weight lifting and loosing weight with significant body fat loss. Part of the problem is I am getting arouse by being penetrated rather than penetrating someone else.

[goodsonformom]

I would have myself checked out by a doctor. There are a lot of factors that can contribute to ED, or moments of what appears to be ED...some can be psychological, some can be physical....if it is a physical issue it could be heart related. I have a few friends that have had heart attacks. Looking back the one thing they all said was.....there was an unusual change in how their penis would react in sexual situations." They would get hard and loose it for no explainable reason, or they would have completely normal sex, and then when they typically would be capable a short time later, they would be completely flaccid.

This might seem like a radical or extreme measure, but most men in their 40's die if they have a cardiac event such as a heart attack. As you get older the chances of survival actually increases, but the subsequent quality of life after a cardiac event, is not always good or may be plagued with a host of issues. A doctor visit is worth the dollars and time, to make sure your penis isn't trying to tell you something.