Difficult situation or my own fault?

[Boogie2u]

Hi everyone, i need to run something by you all as im getting slightly freaked out. im with a girl i love but can never tell about my bi side....believe me i really cant, im with a man thats extreemly jealous and possessive and yesterday i ended up meeting a couple of guys who treated me like some kind of porn star. im extreemly low in mood and the meeting yesterday made me feel cheap and nasty....no emotion, no feeling just cold sex and i went through the motions and then left. im starting to hate myself for the cravings i have and its starting to scare me....i dont expect anyone to help because im sure we all feel like this sometime but im really low soz to put a downer on things! lol

[csrakate]

First of all..you did nothing wrong with your encounter with those guys. The only thing lacking was your sense of self esteem and your sense of self worth. That is something that you need to deal with in your own way. NO ONE..and I mean NO ONE should ever feel degraded sexually by the actions of others.

If the feelings that you have make you feel less than you should..then perhaps you need to explore the source of those feelings? No man and no woman should EVER feel degraded by a sexual act. If you do..then something is wrong with that act!

Hugs,
Kate

[Merlla]

No man and no woman should EVER feel degraded by a sexual act. If you do..then something is wrong with that act!

But what if you shouldn't feel bad but you do? What if there is something wrong with you?

*edit*
I don't mean *you* really, I mean a hypothetical person.

[Qetesh]

Are you sure you dont feel so bad because you're lying to the girl you love? It could be misplaced guilty feelings, maybe?!

Q :)

[Boogie2u]

First of all..you did nothing wrong with your encounter with those guys. The only thing lacking was your sense of self esteem and your sense of self worth. That is something that you need to deal with in your own way. NO ONE..and I mean NO ONE should ever feel degraded sexually by the actions of others.

If the feelings that you have make you feel less than you should..then perhaps you need to explore the source of those feelings? No man and no woman should EVER feel degraded by a sexual act. If you do..then something is wrong with that act!

Hugs,
Kate


thank you for your kind and thoughtful words xxx

[Reprob8]

Hi everyone, i need to run something by you all as im getting slightly freaked out. im with a girl i love but can never tell about my bi side....believe me i really cant, im with a man thats extreemly jealous and possessive and yesterday i ended up meeting a couple of guys who treated me like some kind of porn star. im extreemly low in mood and the meeting yesterday made me feel cheap and nasty....no emotion, no feeling just cold sex and i went through the motions and then left. im starting to hate myself for the cravings i have and its starting to scare me....i dont expect anyone to help because im sure we all feel like this sometime but im really low soz to put a downer on things! lol


I agree with Kate as usual and would like to add that if you feel this bad about your situation that maybe you should talk to a therapist. There is nothing wrong with seeing a therapist, I see one whenever I feel that I need help to process all of the emotions and feeling I am having.

Try to find one who is experienced with gay and bi issues and views as normal, healthy people. A good therapist will help you embrace your feelings and not feel shame from them.


This link has allot of information, thanks to whoever posted mind's link yesterday.

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Factsheets/Diversity/Factsheetlgb.htm

[jedinudist]

Are you sure you dont feel so bad because you're lying to the girl you love? It could be misplaced guilty feelings, maybe?!

Q :)


Seems very plausible

[Azrael]

That's my theory on the matter. Not being honest with the one you love will tear your brain to shreds.

[Long Duck Dong]

yeah i agree with kate and reprob.....with a couple of extras

one .... sit down by yourself and decide, exactly what you want ....

two..... decide if you wanna be abused by others and if you want to allow yourself to be abused and used

three....lieing is a dangerous game..... living a lie is simply insanely stupid... excuse the bluntness.... but you only have to look in the mirror to see what its doing to you

four, ....decide who controls your bisexuality... does it control you or do you control if you sleep with anybody and everybody....

five.....curse the hell out of me and call me all the names you can think of.... get the frustration, anger and rage out of ya system.....its not gonna affect me at all... but its gonna give you a focus point to vent ya feelings and emotions before they destroy YOU

[citystyleguy]

well, you have all the advice you need! the best that i could offer is to act on what is given.

keep us posted as to your progress, there wont be anyone leading you astray here! good luck!

clear your head, ask the hard questions, talk it out, and you should fine the path to healing!

[mandy23]

No matter what is going on in your mind, always stop and think " Is this what I really want, and is this going ot somehow hurt you". If the answer to either of those questions is no, then don't do it, don't live it. Instead, follow my motto: Being true to yourself leads to being true to others. In other words you have to love yourself and be loyal to you before you can truly love anyone else. Once you come to terms with who you really are you will realize that no one is worth loving if they won't, or can't love every part of you. That means you have to come clean with your girlfriend, and if she can't accept that you're bisexual then she's not the one for you. Remember, always love yourself first, others can love you later.