Why so impossible to find bisexual people?! [Archive]

HotCpleCincy

Nov 29, 2013, 6:05 PM

So my wife and I are both bisexual, but very secretly I'll admit. She is stunning, extremely fit, works out like a machine daily, I am tall, not exactly fit but good looking and draw a lot of attention. We have been trying to find bisexual playmates for a while. We have tried Craigslist and it's all just a bunch of fake profiles of people trying to collect photos and if you dont oblige they just flag your post for deletion. A lot of the websites I've tried have been similar such as POF and the like.

We are in Cincinnati and though it's a very conservative city, we know there are others like us out there! Anyone have any ideas as to how to find them?

We are limited in that we both work semi public jobs and cant just blast our pics all over the internet so Its a little more difficult to draw the attention we want to.

HaroldSaxon

Nov 29, 2013, 7:21 PM

I have had some luck on this site:
http://www.swinglifestyle.com/

bikurinpa

Nov 29, 2013, 9:46 PM

Realist

Nov 29, 2013, 10:09 PM

That is a problem Hot Couple! I had a sensitive job before I retired and any rumor of impropriety would have gotten me canned in a flash! I've been bisexual all of my life, but continued to have lovers of both genders, but I was very cautious and after meeting, proceeded without creating stress. If it worked out, fine, if not don't give up. . Finding like-minded, compatible, people has been a kind of the luck of the draw. Most of my lovers seemed to just appear out of the blue....when I least expected it.

For an example: While looking for a male lover, I ended up with a bisexual lady, instead! We've now been lovers for over 5 years ......and I met her right here!

I met one fantastic lady from this site, who was trying to help her mostly gay husband find a lover. My GF would have loved her, especially, and we clicked almost immediately. But her husband and I were obviously not compatible...not at all.

I would have loved for us to spend time with her, but it was not reasonable to expect a good relationship could be had, if he was to be left out. With one requirement for success not present, we couldn't continue.

Since joining this site, I have met some very nice people of both genders, in person. There's many others who we'd like to meet, but there are barriers. I've met folks, for no-pressure coffee, or drinks, and conversation. When pieces of the puzzle fit, good things happened.

For me, not rushing things got the best results.

If you know exactly what you want, don't settle for less, or you'll never be satisfied. Good luck and don't give up!

Hypersexual11

Nov 29, 2013, 10:10 PM

We have also had some luck on swinglifestyle. I wouldn't completely give up on Craigslist. You just have to be patient. We found plenty of flakes on swinglifestyle as well. They are everywhere.

When you place an ad or profile, no matter where, spend some time writing a good one. Look at some others for ideas. Remember, you have to make a connection with both people. Don't get too excited when the offers pour in. This is where it gets kind of tedious. Ask for specific information in your ad. In Craigslist, ask for a specific word in the subject line. Delete all replies that do not have this word. Don't even open them. Probably spam and possibly a very well written note which is all bullshit. Your ad should ask for specific information. At least 3 pieces of information that a person can give you without revealing too much about themselves. This is because you want to see who actually reads your ad. If the information is not given, delete. This will leave you with a selection of candidates that can read and write. Believe it or not, a big hurdle. Don't sweat the pics. Take some tasteful clothed pictures and photoshop out your faces. Safe and gives the people an idea of what they will be dealing with. Most importantly, don't give up. There is nothing better than sitting at Sherie's at 1am, drinking coffee and eating pie, looking at your disheveled spouse with a shit eating grin, remembering the awesome time you just shared.

NMCowboys

Nov 29, 2013, 11:15 PM

The answer to your question lies in your post:

So my wife and I are both bisexual, but very secretly I'll admit. We are limited in that we both work semi public jobs and cant just blast our pics all over the internet so Its a little more difficult to draw the attention we want to.

If you're just trying to meet other bisexual people only via the internet, and you're both not out about being bisexual I can see how it might be difficult for you to meet people.

It's 2013 and you're living in the United States. Nobody cares if you're bisexual least of all your employer or company.

However people who are closeted will tend to live in fear and will falsely claim that if they are out that their life would be ruined or they'd be fired from their job but that has not been true for decades for bisexual people and LGBT people.

Coastocoast

Nov 29, 2013, 11:34 PM

NMCowboys

Nov 30, 2013, 12:10 AM

If I came out as being bisexual I would be looking for a new career the same day. Yes in 2013 my employer and co-workers care. No it does not mean I would be fired due to my sexuality but given the situation I would not be able to continue and know that I would be forced into a career change. It is not imagination it is reality. I am glad that your personal situation is so different than mine and that situation that many of us live in, be thankful that it is.

That's just your opinion. See it's not being out that would cause you problems or issues with your career; but it's your own issues with your sexuality that do.

I guarantee you that no matter whatever field of work you are in both in the public and private sector there are other bisexuals, gay men, lesbians, and trans people who do your job and who are out and who have been out for decades.

If your employer either in both the public or private sector "forced" you to quit your job if you came out you could sue and win since that is illegal in California and most states.

Coastocoast

Nov 30, 2013, 12:58 AM

That's just your opinion. See it's not being out that would cause you problems or issues with your career; but it's your own issues with your sexuality that do.

I guarantee you that no matter whatever field of work you are in both in the public and private sector there are other bisexuals, gay men, lesbians, and trans people who do your job and who are out and who have been out for decades.

If your employer either in both the public or private sector "forced" you to quit your job if you came out you could sue and win since that is illegal in California and most states.

Like I said I would be in a situation where I could not continue to work in my selected career and the situation would force me to make a career change. You live in your life but many of us don't live in that ideal world. You notice nobody is trying to convince you that your world is not what it is but that does not change ours. Enjoy it and appreciate it.

HotCpleCincy

Nov 30, 2013, 11:31 AM

Yeah, its not possible to be open about our personal lives with our careers. If you knew what we did you would understand.
She is 30, I'm 35 and we want to find a young like minded male or female or couple. I'll check out that website and see if it can help us. Thank you for the tip.

hedodon

Nov 30, 2013, 12:24 PM

If I might suggest, you may want to check out some Bi/Gay/Straight watering holes in the Cincinnait/Northern Ky area. One that comes to my mind is "Rosie's Bar" in Mainstrausse(sp) area of Covington. It's a very friendly and fun place.

Meliss

Nov 30, 2013, 1:57 PM

A screening question you could use with a person is to admit to liking some porn. Say you have read that is a thing almost everyone does but few admit it. Then you could say you ran across some unusual stuff and was surprise how exciting some of it was. I would share with an approach like that.

Frankly a little disclosure goes a long ways. Usually people are afraid to approach others just for fear of personal rejection.

Mike2922

Nov 30, 2013, 2:11 PM

Yes sls is the real deal...easy to just post a photo for a weekend or for a interested couple on the DL.
and I can speak to the Bi swing parties in the inland Empire as being more open and better than the straight swing parties...Club Taboos second wed of the month is a bi party...you just got to experience ;

zigzig

Nov 30, 2013, 4:14 PM

I think in USA the options are more with finding another couple to spend time together. I'm bi, and my husband is straight, and would like to try find another couple or a lady to join us. But unfortunately we live in South Africa for now, and many people there are too religious. So to find an openminded people is hard, and better not to tell others. Even though constitution there allows gay marriage, and employers can't discriminate them, many people are still conservative against LGBT people.

NMCowboys

Nov 30, 2013, 4:28 PM

Yeah, its not possible to be open about our personal lives with our careers. If you knew what we did you would understand.

So what do you both do for jobs or careers? Yes, even in Ohio you can be out as a bisexual man and woman and still keep your jobs and careers. You're making up excuses if you think otherwise.

jem_is_bi

Nov 30, 2013, 9:38 PM

So what do you both do for jobs or careers? Yes, even in Ohio you can be out as a bisexual man and woman and still keep your jobs and careers. You're making up excuses if you think otherwise.

I doubt that in most cases that would be a career enhancement thing to do, even if you were not fired and kept you job.

NMCowboys

Nov 30, 2013, 10:59 PM

I doubt that in most cases that would be a career enhancement thing to do, even if you were not fired and kept you job.

Unless you're out at your job how would you know? This is not the 60s or 70s when you could be fired from your job because of being bisexual or an LGBT person. Yes being out as an LGBT person can be a career enhancement, or nobody will care and will just say congratulations and you'll still get to keep your job or career.

To the original posters: It is possible to meet other bisexual but if you stay deeply closeted and only look online you're not going to be very successful at it. Come out, and go out and meet people.

michael51

Dec 1, 2013, 9:49 AM

I have met friends on this site,trouble no one is every near enough to me to meet

jem_is_bi

Dec 1, 2013, 11:24 PM

[QUOTE=NMCowboys;260097]Unless you're out at your job how would you know? This is not the 60s or 70s when you could be fired from your job because of being bisexual or an LGBT person. Yes being out as an LGBT person can be a career enhancement, or nobody will care and will just say congratulations and you'll still get to keep your job or career.

QUOTE] I have two jobs at the present time. In one it would likely not change things very much. I am not worried about being fired from either job. It is not the 60's or 70's, but it I still a career issue.

hydropop

Dec 2, 2013, 7:08 AM

The answer to your question lies in your post:

If you're just trying to meet other bisexual people only via the internet, and you're both not out about being bisexual I can see how it might be difficult for you to meet people.

It's 2013 and you're living in the United States. Nobody cares if you're bisexual least of all your employer or company.

However people who are closeted will tend to live in fear and will falsely claim that if they are out that their life would be ruined or they'd be fired from their job but that has not been true for decades for bisexual people and LGBT people.

Sorry but I have to disagree with your quote NMCowboys. But thats my right to . So yes its 2013 and you would hope that no one cares what you sexual preference is.
But bisexual men are still not accepted like most think, but its ok to be a bi sexual woman ( everyone loves one ) and you see in our news Media that being Gay is very Protected . I say its protected because god forbid if your gay and you fired because of it. Smell a law suit do ya. And Chic-fil-A they are anti LGBT and thats their right , so you would think. And I dont disagree if they dont hire a LBGT. There are only a hand ful that know I am bi, one of which is my wife. But I sit around with friends and they down Bi sexual men. SO guess where I stand on this subject. Sure I went off track but, I just wished the LG T wouldnt think us bi men are confused . Thats what it really boils down to.

NMCowboys

Dec 2, 2013, 7:16 AM

Sorry but I have to disagree with your quote NMCowboys. But thats my right to . So yes its 2013 and you would hope that no one cares what you sexual preference is.
But bisexual men are still not accepted like most think, but its ok to be a bi sexual woman ( everyone loves one ) and you see in our news Media that being Gay is very Protected . I say its protected because god forbid if your gay and you fired because of it. Smell a law suit do ya. And Chic-fil-A they are anti LGBT and thats their right , so you would think. And I dont disagree if they dont hire a LBGT. There are only a hand ful that know I am bi, one of which is my wife. But I sit around with friends and they down Bi sexual men. SO guess where I stand on this subject. Sure I went off track but, I just wished the LG T wouldnt think us bi men are confused . Thats what it really boils down to.

Bisexual men are accepted. Were you not around in the 70s, 80s, or 90s? If your "friends" put down bisexual men then they're not your actual friends. Furthermore lesbians, gay men, and trans people do not think that bisexual men are confused.

rickoyler1969

Dec 2, 2013, 3:02 PM

While it may not be legal to fire someone for "coming out" the time & cost to sue them would take quite some time. In the mean time you don't have income until you find another job !!
Plus there are a lot of people that will not accept you once you are out.

Rick

Dunmor

Dec 2, 2013, 3:32 PM

You just have to be patient. It will happen, choose carefully and something will happen. I actually met people from this site, in addition there are a few swinger clubs in Dayton, even all men clubs in Columbus, Club Columbus for one.

bluvm

Jan 12, 2014, 9:18 PM

Where do you find these parties mike?

cuttin2dachase

Jan 13, 2014, 2:21 PM

Patience is the key, especially for closeted bi/gay people and closeted swingers. Closeted people tend to seek only other closeted people for reasons of discretion and secrecy. For every person who is out and open about his/her sexual inclinations and desires, there are hundreds who are not. Going to bi/gay/swinger clubs or meet & greets and putting themselves "out there" is not an option for closeted folks. The internet has made it possible to remain closeted and "underground" and still be able to meet likeminded people, but it still requires much more patience, selectivity and time to connect with suitable partners. A mutual comfort level and mutual desire to meet must be established. Once it is established, it's a matter of motive meeting opportunity and it require nerve and determination to make it happen.

Be patient and use as many internet resources (yes even craigslist) as you can. It will require more time and effort to weed out the flakes and fakes, but it will pay off in the end !

BiCuriousVAN

Jan 23, 2014, 8:11 PM

I have had some luck on manline.com. But, it always takes awhile before we first meet. I have had a lot of false starts, no shows or posers who are never available. However, I have only had oral with somebody I have met. If I mention anal, they either run or they say oh good, I want to meet right now. I want somebody who is patient and take it slow and easy on a first timer, but those interested just seem to want to bang my ass and there is no way I am going to meet somebody like that for a first time anal. Slow and easy to work up to it is what I am looking for, but no luck so far.