Feeling Confused

[TML1991]

Despite not finding men hot, I have been having bisexual fantasies with myself being on both the dom and sub end at times. This has had me confused on my sexuality. Anyone care to help?

[buck-rogers]

When you're young it's easy to have these mixed feelings or find your mind wandering and fantasizing about things you maybe hadn't considered before. It's entirely natural and you should at least remind yourself that they are simply idle dreams and you're in no way required to act on them. As far as your sexuality is concerned a fleeting thought is nearly meaningless. But if you find that the frequency of the fantasies increases than it might be a good idea to find a way to explore these feelings further. Have these fantasies been occurring often? Do you find yourself highly aroused by your dreams?

[TML1991]

When you're young it's easy to have these mixed feelings or find your mind wandering and fantasizing about things you maybe hadn't considered before. It's entirely natural and you should at least remind yourself that they are simply idle dreams and you're in no way required to act on them. As far as your sexuality is concerned a fleeting thought is nearly meaningless. But if you find that the frequency of the fantasies increases than it might be a good idea to find a way to explore these feelings further. Have these fantasies been occurring often? Do you find yourself highly aroused by your dreams?

These fantasies have been fairly common over the last few months.

[SEX_DREAMS]

What do you think trigger these fantasies?

[TML1991]

Porn possibly.

[buck-rogers]

Porn possibly.

You may want to continue to experiment with porn to get a better idea of whether or not that sort of thing really excites you. Then, later, you'll know whether or not you'd like to act on these urges.

[scapegoat1987]

I think many of us--myself included at times--put way too much effort into trying to make out sexualities into a concrete identity, instead of embracing the fluidity. My sexual orientation has certainly changed over time, with me having identified as straight, bisexual and gay. I truly believe that I was bisexual all along, but that doesn't detract from the fact that I seriously thought I was completely gay for over two decades. What I needed was the space to explore whatever it was I needed to explore in whatever way I needed to explore it. And I think you need to afford yourself the same luxury. So what if you identify as straight but get excited over the thought of D/s play with both men and women. And so what if you identify as bisexual even though you've never experimented with a man. Sexual identity is about desire in the end, and we should all be free to desire whatever excites us without guilt or obligation.

[TML1991]

I think many of us--myself included at times--put way too much effort into trying to make out sexualities into a concrete identity, instead of embracing the fluidity. My sexual orientation has certainly changed over time, with me having identified as straight, bisexual and gay. I truly believe that I was bisexual all along, but that doesn't detract from the fact that I seriously thought I was completely gay for over two decades. What I needed was the space to explore whatever it was I needed to explore in whatever way I needed to explore it. And I think you need to afford yourself the same luxury. So what if you identify as straight but get excited over the thought of D/s play with both men and women. And so what if you identify as bisexual even though you've never experimented with a man. Sexual identity is about desire in the end, and we should all be free to desire whatever excites us without guilt or obligation.

That makes a lot of sense. For the last few months I have been thinking about whether i'm straight or bisexual. When it's really not that big of a deal. In case you wondering the porn I was a scene where a guy takes it up the ass while taking a girl's pussy. I also have a fantasy where I take a girl and her straight boyfriend or get my own ass taken in the submissive end of the fantasy I just mentioned.

[elian]

Well the most erotic thing to me isn't the sex, it's being able to "surrender" to another man (or woman maybe) and express my love and affection, to be wanted/desired. To give and receive pleasure. It's psychological just as much as physical.

If some folks knew about these fantasies they might call them sick or sinful or whatever but the human mind can be a complex thing, I think if you are under a lot of stress to "perform" -(to fit the self-image you have created for yourself) then it might be normal to fantacize about these sort of things as a way of stress relief.

Trying to remember back to when I was younger - I was always a very sexual person (for better or worse) if you have some liberty in your life i think it's normal to experiment sexually - human beings are generally curious by nature). With some experience you will discover what makes you happy and what does not.

I'll put it to you this way, because I was forced to have an open mind growing up I would still respect a co-worker who told me that he enjoyed wearing a ball-gag when he played with his wife. Even if he has a psychological desire to feel submissive I'd still respect him at work because I know that his sexuality is only one part of who he is as a whole person.