please help a bi-curious man

[TobyB]

I've always considered myself to be straight and have enjoyed healthy heterosexual relationships, yet I cannot stop thinking about gay sex. I don't generally look at men and find them physically attractive, yet I find the idea of sex with a man extremely arousing and fantasise about it constantly.

I've looked on the web and read a lot of gay erotica and I think that it's something that I'd really like to try, but I just can't decide how ...

My main concerns are:
- where to meet someone for casual sex
- how to keep it anonymous in case I don't want to pursue this aspect of my life.
- safe sex and what I can do.
- The practical concerns of performing some of these acts, as I'm essentially a 28 yr old virgin in this regard and I don't want it to be too ackward.

Unfortunately, gay porn and gay erotic is obviously not very realistic, so I really need some advice because I think this is something that I really want.

[chat780]

Toby8;

I am a 54 year old bi male. If you would like some advice my IM is chat780watch@yahoo.ca. I don't know that I can help, but I will offer what assistance I can.

Thanks.

[mike9753]

TobyB:

I am 57 rs. old. I had an experience as a young man, in college. I went to a gay bath house. I walked around naked, got groped and groped a few others - in the whirlpool, in the steamroom, and other places. I got blown and I blew others. This was many years before AIDS, but there STD's were a risk. Fortunately, I never contracted anything.

In the years since I have been married twice - I am still married. I still have these inclinations. I would love to have some wild, playful times with another man or even more than one man at once. I would love to get fucked in the ass.

But I have also found that what I have in my marriage is too important for me to endanger and I am sure that any sort of liaison with another man would change me - and as a resut would change what I have in my marriage.

You did not say if you were married or had a girl friend. My advice is that if you are single and NOT in an important romantic relationship - impotant to you, then experiment - but only by participating in safe sex - with a condom or more. Your health is to important to jepordize.

If you are in a relationahip with a woman that you are committed to, then have your bisexual fantasies, but don't act them out. Adults can fantasize but they know what truely valuable -so they let their fantasies give them pleasure while treasuring the gift of a solid relationship.

Good luck - be safe, don't take chances.

Mike

[LouiseBrookslover]

I am 57 rs. old. I had an experience as a young man, in college. I went to a gay bath house. I walked around naked, got groped and groped a few others - in the whirlpool, in the steamroom, and other places. I got blown and I blew others. This was many years before AIDS

Oh, stop bragging. The previous generation had all the fun. j/k

Back on topic, safety is a very difficult proposition, and you're not going to get any guarantees. I think most of us guys who play with other boys always at least a bit have it in the back of our minds that something bad could happen regarding disease. That being said, I can't imagine the things I would have done if I had been born in a pre-AIDS world. Holy crap.

Now for some real advice (finally). Learn how to select men. Myself, I didn't learn how to flirt with guys for years after I started being sexually active. Find a man who looks like someone you'd be attracted to. Someone safe-looking. Maybe he even has a wedding ring on. Make eye contact. Smile. Walk past him. Look back. Is he still looking at you? Smile again. Saunter over to him. Make small talk. It sounds funny, but it works. Most purely hetero or uninterested guys WILL NOT SUSTAIN eye contact unless they are like a salesman or something. Now, it isn't the ethical thing to fuck a married man, but it could be the safest situation for you and I'm merely advising you on maximum safety. If you find a married fuckbuddy you could agree only to fuck each other and the fact that he has a lot to lose could also insure mutual discretion (if mutual discretion is a sticking point for you). I probably shouldn't say such things, but I don't want you to end up dead or in divorce court, and I know you are going to play anyway....so be safe.

[TobyB]

I appreciate the help so far, but presuming that I go to one of those clubs that specialise is cruising, what do I do then?

Do I just wait for a guy that I like to approach me? I understand that oral sex that be dangerous, but while I'll start with just masturbating another man, what I really want to try is anal sex, so if I use a condom and lubrication is that reasonably safe? And how can I know if the other guy is a "top" without being too blunt about it, because that's all I'm really interested in, I'm not even particularly keen on kissing.

Any details of people's first experiences would be really appreciated.

[aimpoint223]

I am much in the same situation and just found this site. I often would check out gay sites but have difficulty figuring out where I stand. If offered a choice between sex with a woman vs. a man, I'd take the woman every time--young, old, big, small, ugly, etc. However, when I see cock I really enjoy it and when I see a hard cock I want to suck it . . . badly want to suck it and I love being sucked. (Also love female tits and eating pussy even more than fucking.)

While I just can't control my emotions when I see hard cock, I know I don't want to fuck anyone in the ass and I can't even imagine taking someone up my own ass . . .I've always turned down opportunities to do both and instead just put a hard cock in my mouth and sucked and sucked.

Some men I will kiss and really like it . . . but just some . . . and even like to lie naked with them . . . but with the STD/Aids stuff I haven't had a male encounter in several years. I used to look for cock to suck in movies, gloryholes or adult bookstores 15 years ago, but not now.

I just don't know where to place myself. I will suck a hard cock anytime and love it. Even lie in bed and kiss and feel a nice smooth guy, but no Greek stuff. And, if I had a choice, I'd take a woman every time. '

I am glad I found this site to know there are others like me. Email me if you want to chat about it.

Thanks . . .

[dtindh]

TobyB,
I am also in your boat. I would love to try anal sex, but I really want to feel the cum going inside me, so I doubt it will ever happen, unless I find someone that I can really trust. When I search this site for possible people to hook p with, I look for other married men (I am married), because they have as much to lose as I do, so I feel safer in discretion and disease. As far as just masturbating a guy, I have done that in movie theaters or porno booths, but most men in there want more or want to do more, so many will leave when thy find you just want to play. Too bad we are half the world away or we could give it all a try. Hope I helped some, and I hope you find what you want.

[Sparks]

Look at yourself in the mirror. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. When the time is right for you, you'll know it. And yes, same sex sex is very erotic and extremly satisfying. So when you're ready go ahead and go for it. There is nothing more pleasurable than sucking a hard cock, and then getting on all fours to accept that cock from behind. My advice, go for it dude :2cents:

[Buck Naked]

You could activate your profile and include your opening statement which would automatically become available for your local comunity of peers to see. Who knows, you may have a neighbor with similar ideas you could get together with to explore all those possibilities.