Is Bisexuality Temporary?

[simplexity]

I am curious if anyone else has experienced the same things. I wonder if bisexuality is a place holder, and that eventually most bisexual people identify as gay. My mom told me a long time ago that there was no such thing as bisexual if you like the same sex then you are gay. And the rest is just deluding yourself. I never came out to her, after my parents passed away that's when I became more involved in finding my sexual identity. Since I started masturbating I can remember looking through Fredrick's catalog and finding very beautiful women and in the very very back there were some men, but I never ventured that far back. Eventually curiosity got the better of me. Just one look at their chiseled bodies and their bulges, I couldn't resist. So from that day on I'd allow myself to look at ALL the pics in the catalog. As time went on, men became the bulk of my fantasies, and then later still it pretty much was all of my fantasies. I didn't show any concern because in person I preferred women. So it made sense that I was bi. For I was straight when it came to face to face, then I was gay when I masturbated, so it averaged out. But, lately it seems that I am focused solely on men. I do get turned on by women in person still, but not as much as I used to. It seems as time goes on I tend to gravitate more to men. So it had me wondering if this is a normal trend among bisexual people, and that maybe sometimes soon I'll just pretty much think of guys 24/7. Not that that is an issue. I was just curious about other people's experiences. I will say that looking at a playgirl mag gets me harder than looking at the playboy mag. Also one reason I loved masturbating to men was that it went quicker so if I were on my way to work and had ten extra minutes, it was more than enough time. I called it fasterbating. Of course eventually I wanted to just keep going time and time again, so even though it took less time per orgasm I found myself going at it repeatedly so I would end up late at times. This question is posed to anyone who is bisexual not just men. I wonder if women go through the same thing too. Well let me know. Just curious if anyone else thinks that bisexuality will eventually lead to homosexuality.

[Long Duck Dong]

over all the years, I did counselling work, I have never seen any supporting evidence that bisexuality is a gatework to homosexuality or that its a place holder as some people may claim....... what I have seen is personal stories of people that have phased across sexualities however thats a individual thing and unique to each person, as sexuality is fluid in many people and changes for many different reasons....

something that I did notice, is something that some men said and that was that it was easier to find sex with another male and less hassle to do than entertaining a woman in order to have sex........ and that has been around the same times that I have heard some people make the comment that some males are actually gay and too lazy / scared to admit it cos they like the idea that they are bisexual rather than gay.....

one gay guy I spoke to once, admitted that he referred himself as gay rather than bisexual because he liked females, liked sex with females, but hated having to put up with their * shit * so he avoided any commitment by referring to himself as gay..... interesting logic there....

either way.... I am nit sure there is any way to really say yes or no to your questions unless my answer is simply that every person is different and for some its true, others its not....

[Bisexual Explorer]

I wonder if it's the other way round for some of us. I've been interested in having sex with men since my early 20s, if not longer. I also enjoyed sex with women, got married, and pretty much suppressed my desire to have sex with men for a very long time. As I write on my profile, my Kinsey rating has moved from a 2 when I joined bisexual.com to a 4 now. The more sex I have with men the less I want sex with women. It may very well be that my bisexuality is temporary. Rather than being "a gateway to homosexuality," my bisexuality may be a path to what I actually am - homosexual. It's also possible that I really am bisexual. I've learned to take this as it comes (sorry for the pun. Not really).

Bisexual Explorer

[Jobelorocks]

Bisexuality is real and not a myth. I am a happily married bisexual woman (married to a man) and I have sex with both males and females (my husband and I are swingers). I have zero romantic attraction to women, just a sexual attraction, while I am romantically and sexually attracted to men (henceforth why I chose a man for my life partner). The stereotype that bisexuality doesn't exist or is a phase or a place holder is just a myth and I feel is generally perpetuated by homosexuals and heterosexuals because they can't understand the ability of being attracted to both genders. Also many bisexuals have very fluid sexualities, so at one point they may be more attracted to one gender and then later more attracted to another, their level or type of attraction to either gender may change or vary between the two genders.

[fredtyg]

A couple things I've noticed here and elsewhere:

Most guys interested in sex with men have that interest intensify as they get older.

Both men and women's interests in either men or women often shift a bit over time with periods of preferring one over the other during certain periods of their lives.

Bisexuality isn't guaranteed to be a gateway to one sexual preference over another. As I wrote above, I have seen most guy's interest in men intensify as they get older, but that can shift, too. Five years ago I would have considered myself pretty much homosexual after a lifetime of being bi. Now I feel I've shifted back to being bisexual. I suppose it all depends on the individual.

[Realist]

Like others here, I have vacillated between being more gay and more heterosexual. There were times when I felt I could live gay with a particular partner and never want to be with another woman. But, most of my life, I've been about 50/50, perfectly equally bisexual.

Presently, I feel that I am more heterosexual...mainly because I have the most compatible lady in my life. Still........

We are fluid beings, some of us more than others. Desires ebb and flow.

[Gearbox]

Nobody can dictate to their attractions. We either like something or we don't. Simple as. If that wasn't so, we'd all be heterosexual.lol
In my case, I left a whole lot of years slip by without acting on my m-m cravings, and as a result I went mental with it for a while. I've calmed down a lot now, but still haven't explored all that I want to. Have done that with females already, so they take a little back seat. But their not forgotten, nor unwanted.
I expect that's pretty typical with many bi's who act on m-m in their 30's, 40's +. We catch up on all we so stupidly rejected.

But some do go one way to hetero or gay. Who cares, as long as they are happy with it? Being happy with what we desire is what we of ANY sexuality realy want. God knows we fight ourselves enough before we are content with being 'us' too commonly.
I've chatted to plenty of men who class themselves as 'gay' due to their attraction to females being much less than to males. They are not homosexual, but find it simpler to identify with it. It gives the wrong idea about sexuality, but it's perfectly understandable IMO.
Same with those who call themselves 'straight' coz they much prefer the oposite gender. They get a MUCH harder time than the former, coz homosexuality and bisexuality are STILL considered as a 'bad thing' and they are accused of being scared of it. It's odd that nobody questions you if you claim to be homosexual, but do if you claim to be bi or het. It's as if anything remotely 'homosexual' has a dark power over us.:yikes2:

In the end, you are totally ruled by your desires. There's nobody you can write a letter of complaint to, nor a court you can appeal against the descission in.
May as well like it!;)

[darkeyes]

Temporary? In some ,although I prefer to think in my case it was but transient... had a ball.. and as I got farther into my 20s I just left bisexuality behind and never noticed... I thought of myself as bisexual but it was never guys I got off with or wanted..

..for some their sexuality is in flux so often... men one minute, women next back to guys and so on... and some do go through life that way...for them their bisexuality is not a temporary thing.. their immediate preference may be because of the flux their sexuality undergoes.. but many have a preference for one gender which stays with them until the end of their lives.. a preference, emotionally and/or physically, but not to the sexual and sensual exclusion of the other gender..

Whether gay or bisexual people can become heterosexual is open to question... for that I have no answer but in theory it is probable. There are people in this world who now consider themselves heterosexual who have lived active sexual lives as gay or bisexual people.. whether they have become str8 is open to question or whether it is circumstance and pressure from the outside world which has pushed them into a life of denial and closet living is anyone's guess.. I am no expert, but in theory I see no reason why this cannot be the case and why at least some have genuinely changed and become heterosexual.. very controversial issue and it is one I have no certain answer to..

.. but the short answer to the thread question is in some, yes it is.. or it is transitory.. in others.. no, it is something they were born with and it will be something which will last them until the end of their days.. or something they have become and will never leave them...

[tenni]

1/ ““over all the years, I did counselling work, I have never seen any supporting evidence that bisexuality is a gatework to homosexuality or that its a place holder as some people may claim.”


2/ “ I have never seen any supporting evidence that bisexuality is a gatework to homosexuality or that its a place holder as some people may claim.”


What is the difference between the two above sentences?


The first sentence is an attempt to give the poster credibility and grandeur. There is no evidence that the poster ever was a “counsellor” any more than several others who do not attempt to use this term for self glorification. Stop this behaviour dude! The only possible credentials is that this poster studied Hypnotherapy and received a certificate. No university education or equivalent in psychology etc. Just be yourself without attempting to flaunt unsubstantiated credentials.

[tenni]

As far as the OP is concern, I think that whether a person is bisexual or in transition to being gay is something for each person to evaluate. As others have stated bisexuality can be fluid. The change of attraction may be equal or there may be a preference for one gender. I am a bisexual man who is both sexually and emotionally attracted to both genders. I have been in love with women and men. At my present point in life I have also decided to not seek our a relationship with a woman. However, I do find women sexually attractive in the most surprising moments (to me ;) I don’t seem to fantasize about either gender though. Because, I have felt deep love for women, there is no way that I can dishonour that attraction even though I do not plan to enter a relationship with a woman.


I notice that the word “love” was not used by the OP. If you have not felt deep emotions for either men or women that may be significant to you to reflect on. When I was trying to figure this all out, I didn't know the term "bisexual". I would ask men who identified as gay whether they had ever been in love with a woman?..ever had sex with a woman? etc. The frequent response from guys who identified as gay but had been married was something like "I love my wife but I am not in love with her". That was telling for me but not as much as gay guys who would say that they had never had sex with a woman or did but didn't like it. That may or may not help you decide if you are bisexual or gay. I don’t know. I’m not attempting to be your counsellor...lol

[welickit]

Is Bisexuality Temporary?Yes I assure you it is a temporary situation. Just ignore it. On the other hand we have been bisexual longer than you have been alive so it may take time for any feelings you have to pass. In the mean time enjoy. Who cares what it leads to as long as you enjoy the experience?

[Long Duck Dong]

1/ ““over all the years, I did counselling work, I have never seen any supporting evidence that bisexuality is a gatework to homosexuality or that its a place holder as some people may claim.”


2/ “ I have never seen any supporting evidence that bisexuality is a gatework to homosexuality or that its a place holder as some people may claim.”


What is the difference between the two above sentences?


The first sentence is an attempt to give the poster credibility and grandeur. There is no evidence that the poster ever was a “counsellor” any more than several others who do not attempt to use this term for self glorification. Stop this behaviour dude! The only possible credentials is that this poster studied Hypnotherapy and received a certificate. No university education or equivalent in psychology etc. Just be yourself without attempting to flaunt unsubstantiated credentials.


10758

[dafydd]

i came out 'gay' pretty fast and furious in 1999 (at art college what can i say). i didnt really stop to look back until about 2006, when I recognised that certain choices that I made had put me far out of sight of exploring any sexuality with women, a growing attraction that had always remained. Over the years ive been exploring my feelings in this way, tentatively at first, then perhaps with too much gusto..but stopped experimenting when i fell in love in a serious relationship with a woman. I've had more female sexual partners over the last 2 years than men, and it is what it is really. All my desires are fleeting.. they come and go... for men and women, so in that respect they are temporary...i tend to not look at my sexuality as one thing than another these days. Im just open to whatever ... i know that by being only with women or being only with men doesn't work for me, i need different things from both. and...yes 'need' is the right word i think. like i need water, food etc. i need those energies. it feels right for me to embrace both. but if i meet the love of my life tomorrow... be it man or a woman.. id try and hold onto them a lot more than i did in the past and allow love to be a better guide than lust..
If its a woman...she could be my partner until old age.. if it is a man then likewise... though not sure what use there is for labels that describe sexual fluidity when you're in loveand monogamous and have no intention of going anywhere or sharing with anyone else. i might end up eating my words though...time will tell.

d

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Dammit Duck. You nearly made me spit Pepsi clear across my screen.....Quit that! LMAO
Kisses
Cat

[bcadventure]

I'm hopelessly and happily attracted to women but I do fantasize about sex with men. I haven't done it yet and maybe I never will but when I fantasize about sex and romance I fantasize about sex and romance with women. My fantasies about men are merely sex. Once the sexual fantasy, and yes, masturbation, is done, I'm done with it. When I fantasize about a woman, especially a woman I know and want to be with, my fantasies after masturbation continue with the thoughts of romance, falling in love and being together. When I'm out and about, my sexual attention is always directed at women and when I'm around a woman I'm attracted to I have a very strong desire for her, not so much sexually, but romantically. I've never felt that way about a man. My sexual desire for men is more abstract, easier to fantasize about but never romantic. It's just sex.

[tenni]

re post 12 ;) :rotate: lol


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PWy2qIeqA4

[Long Duck Dong]

Dammit Duck. You nearly made me spit Pepsi clear across my screen.....Quit that! LMAO
Kisses
Cat

lol you sure it was a mouthful of pepsi you had ??? lol

[innaminka]

Transient?
temporary??
Labels, labels????????? We are perhaps obsessed with labels, although to be fair, it does help clarify things for others.
Am I bi?????
Am I lesbian???

I have no idea. I know I'm me!!!!!!

The thought at the moment of being able to love a man, I find difficult. Could I have sex??? Possibly. I'd probably need to be tipsy, but...... But to actually love a man??? Not now as I am.

Twenty five years ago, I was diametrically different. And I had a helluva lot of fun and anguish in between.

I can't give a definitive answer to the original question, but what I do know is we are all different. And all the bloody better for it!

[mattsbutt]

One of the main reasons I joined this site was to see if I could get perspective on my own sexuality. It's working. I'm learning something new everyday just reading posts like this. It's nice to know that you're not alone and that others have a sense of fluid sexuality that can't be simply defined.

Anyway, keep up the good posts! :)

[Michele Mayelle]

I can only say from my own experience. I truly believe that bisexuality is permanent & not a stepping stone to gay. I can love a woman but not a man. I need a man for my sexual fantasies & inner desires that a woman can not give. If for some reason I just had to choose between going only with a man or a woman for the rest of my life, my choice would be the woman, as I find them far more sensual with smooth bodies/soft breasts & the taste of a woman a bigger turn on than the taste of a man. But that's just my choice

[*pan*]

for some they accept they are bisexual while for some who are curious they try it for a while then tend to abandon it. different strokes for different folks. everyone is different. society, guilt , religion, peers, discrimination, biases all play a part for some people who choose either not to try or go straight again. i have known people who have realized for one reason or another that they prefered same sex as opposed to oposite sex and what we call turned gay. to me it's a personal choice, in ancient times in some societies people openly were bisexual, not only seeing the beauty of the female but also the beauty of the male body such as in ancient greece. it is modern man with all his religious and biases that have made laws against it. today people are just reverting back to what once was, it's human nature to want to be close and expirence what is beautiful, exciting and sexy. sexuality between people is the life force and is rooted in our human instinct. this si natural and to deny it is unnatural.