Need advice on controlling excitement

[bigamergeek]

So, earlier this month I met a guy I really like on adam4adam. He's a couple of years younger than me. I got my first chance to hang out with him Wednesday and Friday respectively, and on Friday, me and him had a little bit of a chance to fool around. Because it was only the second time I've been around him in person, I got a bit overexcited and I ended up cumming before I was ready. Not only did it happen once, but twice in a span of 5 minutes. I've had the same problem from another time I was able to meet up with a high school friend who I found out was gay. Any advice as to how I can not be so nervous around him would be greatly appreciated.

[Long Duck Dong]

I have a couple of questions....

1) do you have a regular sex life....
2) do you have any issues with premature ejection
3) how often do you fantasise / watch porn etc.....

what I am looking for is not answers that make you look bad, but answers that can help you with your issue, without interfering with your ability to cum in 5 minutes, cos that ability is a good and positive one, not a bad one....

what you are saying, sounds to me like a hormonal surge and hypersensitivity...... its simply a case of where rather than building up when you start getting intimate, you are already roaring to go, before you even start and when you do actually do anything, your body has already reached the 3rd stage of climax......

1) you have been having sex for a while and then your body kicks it up a notch cos its getting close to finishing time
2) hormones kick in and shift the body into ejection mode, the default mode is passing urine....
3) the body reaches the hormonal / chemical peak and sends the signal for ejaculation.....

it doesn't sound like premature ejaculation to me... the difference between that and what you describe, is P.E is a consistent issue for some people and you may not have the problem, but what happens is the same thing in both cases.....

there are simple fixes, .....

1) wank before you meet the guy, about 1 hour before you go to meet them.... you do not have to cum, you are just * venting * the excess hormones and slowing your body down ....

2) on the underside of the penis, below the head, is a pressure point, pushing the thumb against that when you are about to cum, can result in you NOT ejaculating......

3) you can also wank on a semi regular basis if you want, as a form of conditioning your body and mind to react when you want, and that can help with the hormonal overload..... try something like not wanking to cum, but just stroking, rubbing, caressing your cock and keeping yourself from spanking the monkey hard core... this can help to prolong the 1st stage of climax.... and it can help desensitize you


as for the non sexual fixes.... breathing, laughing, talking.... simple lil delays that you can use to slow your body down...... something like you both are kissing and you break the kiss off, take a deep breath and just say, * talk about take my breath away * have a bit of a laugh and then kiss again...... it acts as a buffer

the sexual hormones with climax are not long lasting, so even a 10 second break is more than ample for a surge to start to ease...... you see it a lot in porn movies, the way the guys change stroking motion, it can often be to delay cumming and same with position changes...... they are trying to * ride the wave * of hormonal surge....
its a point where they have the urge to get ready to cum, but they stay on that point ( second stage of climax ) and not move to the 3rd stage of climax.... its simple like dry shooting, a prolonged orgasm without the mess...lol

[bigamergeek]

I have a couple of questions....

1) do you have a regular sex life....
2) do you have any issues with premature ejection
3) how often do you fantasise / watch porn etc.....

what I am looking for is not answers that make you look bad, but answers that can help you with your issue, without interfering with your ability to cum in 5 minutes, cos that ability is a good and positive one, not a bad one....

what you are saying, sounds to me like a hormonal surge and hypersensitivity...... its simply a case of where rather than building up when you start getting intimate, you are already roaring to go, before you even start and when you do actually do anything, your body has already reached the 3rd stage of climax......

1) you have been having sex for a while and then your body kicks it up a notch cos its getting close to finishing time
2) hormones kick in and shift the body into ejection mode, the default mode is passing urine....
3) the body reaches the hormonal / chemical peak and sends the signal for ejaculation.....

it doesn't sound like premature ejaculation to me... the difference between that and what you describe, is P.E is a consistent issue for some people and you may not have the problem, but what happens is the same thing in both cases.....

there are simple fixes, .....

1) wank before you meet the guy, about 1 hour before you go to meet them.... you do not have to cum, you are just * venting * the excess hormones and slowing your body down ....

2) on the underside of the penis, below the head, is a pressure point, pushing the thumb against that when you are about to cum, can result in you NOT ejaculating......

3) you can also wank on a semi regular basis if you want, as a form of conditioning your body and mind to react when you want, and that can help with the hormonal overload..... try something like not wanking to cum, but just stroking, rubbing, caressing your cock and keeping yourself from spanking the monkey hard core... this can help to prolong the 1st stage of climax.... and it can help desensitize you


as for the non sexual fixes.... breathing, laughing, talking.... simple lil delays that you can use to slow your body down...... something like you both are kissing and you break the kiss off, take a deep breath and just say, * talk about take my breath away * have a bit of a laugh and then kiss again...... it acts as a buffer

the sexual hormones with climax are not long lasting, so even a 10 second break is more than ample for a surge to start to ease...... you see it a lot in porn movies, the way the guys change stroking motion, it can often be to delay cumming and same with position changes...... they are trying to * ride the wave * of hormonal surge....
its a point where they have the urge to get ready to cum, but they stay on that point ( second stage of climax ) and not move to the 3rd stage of climax.... its simple like dry shooting, a prolonged orgasm without the mess...lol

1) I have a pretty infrequent sex life. This is the first guy I've actually had feelings for, and it's been a while since I've actually done anything with anyone.
2) I'm not sure if it's PE on account that I've only had oral sex a couple of times. I've told myself it's mostly been nerves.
3) I'm a pretty infrequent masturbator, on account I can't find stuff that I really like out there on the internet that's free.

Jerking off on a semi-regular basis might help me, if I could find a site that has videos that I want to watch. I like the idea of watching a video where it's two guys and they're getting really intimate, like the way I want to be with this guy. The whole cumming before I want to bit is something I want to get under control so that I can enjoy time with him more, not have to worry that my little rocket goes off before I even get a chance to do much.

[Long Duck Dong]

lol I am not convinced its P.E either... but what happens is the same, its just with a person with P.E, its a constant issue...... it didn't sound to be a constant issue with you....

your reply definately points to a person that had a hormonal surge due to your infrequent sexual lifestyle .....

I am going to assume that your contact with the guy is going to be on going.... so you should settle down if you both get into a regular or semi regular sexual situation and find that you do not have as much trouble........

either way, twice in 5 minutes is nice, I dare say there are a number of posters that would love to suck you off if they get a 2 for 1 deal like that, lol.....I hope that its a ability that you continue to have, as you gain more control over your ability to last longer.... cos if that happens, you will definitely be a partner that is worth holding on to with both arms.... and legs..... lol

[bigamergeek]

Just a small update, the guy that I thought I liked wants to just stay friends with me. He talks up the initial connection we had between us as just infatuation. I'm a bit down, but I'm hoping I can get some support from everyone on here.

[Long Duck Dong]

hugs geek...... its hard when people do that, but it allows you to keep looking for people that would be interesting in spending time with you and enjoying what you both can create in the bedroom......

do you use other sites to meet people or are you more of a offline socialiser.....

[DuckiesDarling]

Aww hugs, Bigamer, sorry to hear it didn't work out, but keep looking around, there might be someone who is more than ready to be with you right near you. For the other, listen to my partner, he gives good advice from time to time :D

[bigamergeek]

hugs geek...... its hard when people do that, but it allows you to keep looking for people that would be interesting in spending time with you and enjoying what you both can create in the bedroom......

do you use other sites to meet people or are you more of a offline socialiser.....

I don't really have very many other sites that I know are pretty free. THe only one I know of besides adam4adam is Lifeout.