Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.

[sixfifti]

Hi. I've been in a relationship/partnership for 12 years that'sfollowed various models both poly-amorous and monogamous. Recently(this year) we have returned to being poly again. However It isbeing spoilt by my Jealousy. The worms are eating away at my head.It’s shit I know. And I'm asking the impossible but any advice outthere?


Wetalk lots and try to be open with each over. The issues seem to be, I'm a single parent and feel kinda trapped by responsibilitysometimes.(though less so now the kids are older. My Job has verylong hours. I'm thinking about her far too much and I feel this isout of kilter. There are health issues and getting older confidenceissues too. Rationally the situation is fine and I believe in thefundamental principles of love and trust. Emotionally its become aroller-coaster with an unpredictable track. I want at my age to beon a ride less thrilling. Thanks for reading Neil

[Gearbox]

Hello there Neil. Good for you that you've had enough of jealousy and not willing to let it be a cancer in your life.:)
I've seen what a Hell it can make for people, and rather than deal with it, most try to comfort it. It doesn't work!
So glad your aiming to get rid of it.

http://www.wikihow.com/Handle-Jealousy - Prob better than reading about my failed attempts with partners.lol

[Realist]

Neil, Gear's advice is good.

As one who's not jealous, it's difficult to understand the emotions a jealous person feels.

I have been in two successful poly relationships and one that failed. The one that failed did so because, the one who initiated the relationship was the one who became jealous. If I had known him better, I never would have joined them.

You probably will never be able to change. In my limited experience, it seems that those who are jealous are usually unable to prevent the way they feel. The severity of jealousy is different with different people.

I'm not a professional and I would never attempt to advise you. I know there are professionals who may be able to help you.

I can only say, if I were in the same situation, I'd remove myself from that relationship.....especially if I felt I was being driven to do harm to myself, or others.

Good luck, man, with whatever your choices are.