im a little confused

[ruttingstag]

I was just wondering if anyone could offer me some advice.

Recently my wife told me that she thought I had a gay streak and that she sometimes wondered if I was going to come out as gay in 10th years time or something. This is because I sometimes like to wear woman's knickers and for her to give me a seeing to every now and then.

I replied that I don't fancy men in that way although I have wondered what sex with a man is like.

A couple of days later and I started to get a bit curious... Do I have a gay streak?

A bit after that I also remembered a couple of years ago a good friend was with me and when we were having a laugh I thought to myself... "i could do you" and thought it a few times also I looked at his lips a few times with a little urge to kiss him though never responded to these urges.

After a month or so these urges went away.

I have sometimes fantasised about giving oral sex to another man and being nailed by someone and I have to admit I also like to fantasize about doing it with a really sexy ts. though not for quite a while

I tried watching gay porn to see if this did anything for me to help find out my orientation though it didn't do anything. I did however come across some with really sexy ts's and found them really, REALLY arousing as much as straight porn.

I've always been really attracted to women and love sex with them
Now I'm all confused as to my orientation. I'm not one for labels but would like to hear other peoples views on my sexuality.

[cbj4162]

i can relate to your thoughts and desires, i am more str8 then bi .... i am mostly turned on by the thought and act
of sucking and playing with another guy in a hot mutual oral session... but i don't consider myself gay.

[Long Duck Dong]

it is part of the trouble with understanding bisexuality, is that sometimes we can wonder if we are bisexual or a hetero with a gay streak...... and most people will say that there is no such thing as a hetero with a gay streak, they are bisexuals in denial of their sexuality... and show how ignorant they are of what the person is saying

some bisexuals have a way of seeing themselves as bisexuals that are attracted to males and females, but some bisexuals feel and see the same sex /gender attraction as a different part of themselves, something outside the norm.... and often we get the * hetero with a gay streak * type thinking cos its how best they relate to themselves....
.. its not denying their bisexuality, its identifying how their bisexuality works for them

the most common terms for people with a blurred interest in same / opposite and trans people, is pansexual.... a person that is interested in and enjoys more than just the *traditional * male / female attraction.....and thats not to rule out trans as male or female, as some trans are intersex, so its covering male / female / trans / intersex and gender undefined........

so you can be bisexual or pansexual or even hetero with a trans interest, if you so choose.... you may notice that a lot of people just use the term bisexual rather than pansexual, even tho they enjoy the company of trans people..... its the privilege of self identification

as for what your sexuality is.... yes it sounds like a pansexual nature as you have not restricted your interests to male and female only .... but use the label you perfer to use.... and enjoy the sex with your wife... and possibly another male and / or trans person.....

[a2smith09]

It sounds to me like you might be a bit bisexual, attracted to males and females. Don't worry lots of guys are, it took me a while to figure it out and some to terms with it too. I'm more attracted to females than to guys but I also find guys attractive as well and enjoy having sex with them too.

[Bisexual Explorer]

Having fantasies about sex with other men means you have bisexual inclinations. Your wife has certainly picked up on it. Your porn preferences are like mine, and I am definitely bisexual. So you can, if you choose, label yourself as bisexual. It's not a big deal. The big deal is deciding to have M2M sex. Only you can make this decision. I've learned a lot about my sexuality from this website. I suggest you spend some time here and see whether it helps you sort things out.
g

[tenni]

If I were you, I wouldn't worry about a gay streak or being gay.

I would see if you are comfortable identifying as bisexual. Even if you presently "feel" not bisexual your thoughts indicate that you are not 100% hetero. Many, many men think about it. Some act on their curiousity and not worry about a label. Some decide that they are bisexual (with a little interest one way or the other) but don't act on their desires. (later some of these guys wonder why they held back).

Sexuality is not binary(one way or the other...hetero or gay). That may be your first point to consider.

[ruttingstag]

The thing that really confuses me is that I can't just look at a guy in the street and think wow. I'm really not attracted to men like that. But as I said I have thought to myself and had some urges with a couple of men. I really can't stress enough that I just don't look at males like I do females and think she's gorgous. That's what I find so confusing.

[biwilliams]

My husband is the exact same way as you are, except he does enjoy male/male porn from time to time. But he enjoys the crossdressing porn and male/female porn the most. He doesn't walk around and look at males and think "Wow I'd like to fuck him" like he would a woman but yet he still thinks about being with a guy and fantasizes about it. It can be a really confusing time for ones that are going through that. He still struggles a little bit with it himself, he's only had one sexual encounter personally with a male and it wasn't as enjoyable as he thought it would have been, but that is very likely because the male didn't really seem enthusiastic about the situation. But he does talk to guys on line from time to time, and it will occasionally lead to cybering. We've talked about meeting other bi males/females/couples but so far it's been just talk. It may be the same for you as him where you would really have to get to know the guy first and become comfortable with the guy before you even think about becoming sexual with him.

[tenni]

Rut
Based on what you wrote, I think that you are still coming up bisexual. There are a group(lot?) of bimen who are not attracted to men like they are attracted to women. Some bimen are just sexually attracted to cock. Its purely a physical sexual attraction to male genitals. Since bisexuality may also be very fluid some find their attraction to even cock ebbs and flows. Don't be surprised if you lose interest in men sexually for awhile..maybe even years. Others find that they may start being attracted to cock and then expand their interests to other sex acts with other men. Some never have any interest in men and don't go around thinking that that guy is cute etc. They might look at the bulge in his pants or some other part of his body. Some do develop a romantic emotional connection to men as well that is similar to their emotional attraction to women or slightly different. There are many possibilities.

[Long Duck Dong]

The thing that really confuses me is that I can't just look at a guy in the street and think wow. I'm really not attracted to men like that. But as I said I have thought to myself and had some urges with a couple of men. I really can't stress enough that I just don't look at males like I do females and think she's gorgous. That's what I find so confusing.

a lot of bisexual males are the same way.... they are not attracted to the male as a person but aspects of sex and sexual interaction with males....

the interesting aspect there, is a lot of people tend to break down sexuality as a attraction to male and females and exclude the trans and intersex people as valid aspects of sexuality and interest, while you include them as aspects of your interest and that matchs the statement by you that you find trans people interesting but more in a sexual sense than a partner sense.... and its the same with the way you feel about males, its a narrow aspect of interest, not a wide one......

it really doesn't matter what level of attraction you have, IE OMG that guy is hot.... to.... I would like to kiss this person in a private, isolated situation as bisexuality and other sexualities are too diverse to put into a box..... and you should never feel like you do not *fit * into the box of a set sexuality, as the people that will have the most issue with you and your sexuality, really need to look in the mirror at their own definitions of sexuality and if they fit the definition they try and push on others.....

you are whatever label you choose to use.... cos it fits you and only you can really say what sexuality you are.....

[FinkDoodle]

Straight, gay and bi are just labels . . they mean different things to different people and should not be used to identify yourself for what you are, as there are millions of shades of gray between those extremes that nobody seems to account for.

You're expressing a curiosity about a different variety of sex, that's all. It does not change you as a person nor move you automatically from one label to another.

If it's something you want to explore, give it a shot. If not, no harm in thinking about it. Either way, just enjoy the experience and don't let non-existant rules mess with your head. Curiosity and discovery are part of human nature . . you don't have to penalize yourself just for thinking outside of the box.

[bikiniman]

The thing that really confuses me is that I can't just look at a guy in the street and think wow. I'm really not attracted to men like that. But as I said I have thought to myself and had some urges with a couple of men. I really can't stress enough that I just don't look at males like I do females and think she's gorgous. That's what I find so confusing.

I am happy to confess to being "A little bit Homosexual" or to "having a gay streak". I fantasise about have sexing with men but I am not romantically/emotionally attracted to men like I am to women.

When I first had the conversation with my wife about my sexuality some years ago I said "I am not sexually attracted to men". If I were to have the same conversation today I would say "I am not sexually attracted to men in the same way that I am attracted to women".

It is not just the levels of attraction to the same sex that may be different to the opposite sex, but also the nature of that attraction may be different. It is confusing and takes a while to figure out for your self.

[ruttingstag]

Just curious as to what more experienced people would class me. I have no problems in being myself and don't care on others views about me. Like said I just don't fancy men but a couple of times I've felt really kind of attracted to a couple of men I know well and I find trans porn so horny when I watch it with passable ts's it turns me on so much.

I also don't understand why my wife would say I have a gay streak just because I want to be pegged by her its more that I trust her so much and would like to try it with her not replace sex with a man as I would nevercheat on her as I love her 100%. Also like I said earlier I like to wear sexy knickers because it turns me on not that I want to be feminine in any way. I tried to explain that to her.

Looking into it though am I bi. Most defiantly but very straight leaning. I think.

[Long Duck Dong]

the gay streak is her understanding of what you ask with the pegging..... I would suggest that you google prostrate massaging and let her know its basically the same as stroking her g spot, and that you want her to stroke your prostate but using a dildo with a condom can be easier to do than using fingers cos of the mess factor.....

ask her about using a dildo on you while you wank or something similar so she can see how more intense the orgasm can be for you and she may get a understanding of how much more interesting and intense that it can make lovemaking with your partner.... IE using a butt plug while you both make love.....

sometimes involving ya partner can be the lil nudge that is needed for them to realise its not just about you alone, its about both of you and that you both can reap the rewards and benefits of prostrate massaging

[bikiniman]

Rather than one of us "classing you". Take the following test, which is based on research by Klein and Kinsey. I think it is the best instrument on the internet and it has really helped me understand my own sexuality.

http://www.youngsouthampton.org/youngpeople/advice/relationships/kleingrid.asp

[elian]

So you find "certain" guys attractive on some level (physical or emotional?) .. the same way I like men but occasionally a certain woman will turn me on - that is what being bisexual is all about. You don't have to "choose", but nobody said it was easy either.

I know of straight men who enjoy wearing women's clothing and some that enjoy a more submissive role in sex play..as long as you and your wife are happy I don't see any reason to worry about that - what you do in the bedroom is your private business.

I won't fault someone for being STRAIGHT but I think a well rounded individual is one that is secure enough in their own sexuality to not be afraid of the "masculine" and "feminine" that is in all people..if you have a relationship that is strong enough to allow expressing some of that then maybe it's a good thing.


The thing that really confuses me is that I can't just look at a guy in the street and think wow. I'm really not attracted to men like that. But as I said I have thought to myself and had some urges with a couple of men. I really can't stress enough that I just don't look at males like I do females and think she's gorgous. That's what I find so confusing.

[ruttingstag]

I came up a 1.14 on the test not as high as I was expecting.

Would also just like to thank you for your time during this thread I'm a bit of a newbie to this online chatting