Feedback requested on the Personal Ads system

[Brian]

Hi folks.

Two things:

1. I am looking for general feedback on the Personal Ads system. How can it be made better? What do you like and dislike about it? I see a lot of one- and two-sentence ads. I personally question whether those kind of short ads are of value to anyone, including the poster - am I right? Should we be forcing users to answer some specific questions in their ad? (Describe yourself/ves. What are you looking for? Are you married? Are you looking to host or travel? ...)

2. I am looking for specific feedback on this idea... to address the "location problem" that people regularly bring up to me in emails and PMs.

The problem: The geographic areas are too broad (to some). People don't know how far away someone really is until they exchange emails or Private Messages (PM).

The possible solution: I am thinking of asking people to enter their zip/postal code (to have a personal ad) - an approximation of their location. Then Searchers can be told the approximate location between them and the other person.

Discussion: I have shied away from this in the past because of concerns that that kind of location specificity would freak closeted people out. But my current thinking is that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks, and that it would really be very difficult indeed for someone to use that system to determine someone's approximate location, and even then it would be very approximate.

Your thoughts?

- Drew :paw:

[Herculoid Poirot]

I think the system is pretty good - I'd like to see the location more specific, but zip/postal codes may be too specific. I like the idea of areas. It's not without drawbacks (e.g. people who live on the edge of a zone). Or it might be enough to list country state/province and then nearest town/city.

[void()]

I think state is close enough. You can always talk with someone. People should have some control over whom is met. People are not data points.

[**Peg**]

I think the present system (looking at the list of names in their general area) and then sending that person a PM or an email works just fine. A PostalCode would pin down my location within 10 miles, so that is out for me ! I also think you (and the site features) cannot be all things to all members. JMO

I also believe that requiring members to fill out personal data (married? physical description? what are you looking for?) would change the tenor of this site and turn it into a "meatmarket" style meeting place. Sad to say it has changed so much in the past 4 years that a lot of regular folks have abandoned the site.

[bigbadmax]

UK is the problem area........far to unspecific....your buggered if you reside in the midlands, Wales is far too large to be one area and the north needs to be either North East England or North West England....Scotland well, again needs to be sub regionalised such as Islands, Highlands, N-S-E-w etc.

[tenni]

In Ontario, is it possible to have a city search factor? I think people may not like a postal code search. I think that the profile info category info is good but it is the search feature that needs to improve and be a bit more specific.

[Annika L]

Drew,

I posted a while back with concern over your view that this is a dating site...and this has prompted me to pull away significantly from the site. As I said in the wake of that post, this is your site, so it is and should be whatever you say it is. But *many* of us are not here to date. We are here because we desire community. If that thwarts your dreams for the site, then yes, by all means, require members to post their measurements, locations, phone numbers, whatever. And I will, with some level of sadness, depart the site for good.

And to be clear, I am not closeted in any way. That is *not* the origin of conflict here. The point is that I am not dating, and therefore have no reason or desire to give anyone online ways to locate or contact me, except in extremely rare cases where a close friendship develops. For similar reasons, I have no reason or desire to share my appearance. In general, I have no desire to be hit on, solicited, or stalked, and I refuse to share information about myself that would increase the chances of those things happening.

Your recent site revision has made bisexual.com look and feel a good deal more like a dating site than it did before the revision. If that was the intent, then well-done...you should feel good about that. But that success doesn't come without consequences, some of which you may be less enthusiastic about. At least to me, it looks and feels a bit less like a community...and has therefore become less attractive to me as a result of becoming more of a dating site. I don't flatter myself to think that this matters to you...or to think that it's undesirable to you. But I would like a clarification from you: are those of us who have no desire to date or find partners here (those of us who simply clog the wheels of a dating site) truly welcome?

I would very much appreciate an answer to that question.

In direct answer to your question, the current system of profiles serves my purposes here just fine: people can be as explicit as they want about who they are and what they want. The only way to improve them (to serve my purposes better) is to stop calling them ads. I'm not selling anything, so my extensive profile is not an advertisement.

By the way (I've been meaning to comment on this lately), it's been really nice to see more of you lately on the site. I appreciate your thoughtful posts, and it's good to see you more involved here. That has been the one high-point for me of the site revision.

Best wishes,
-- Annika

[Brian]

In Ontario, is it possible to have a city search factor? I think people may not like a postal code search. I think that the profile info category info is good but it is the search feature that needs to improve and be a bit more specific.

Yes, and breaking up Ontario IS on the to-do list. And some other areas are slated for break-up too. Maybe that will go a long way to addressing the concerns I routinely get by email and PM, but there do seem to be members who want more than that (although none in this thread so far) - they are used to seeing exactly how far away someone is on other sites where discretion is perhaps not so important.

- Drew :paw:

[Herculoid Poirot]

The only way to improve them (to serve my purposes better) is to stop calling them ads. I'm not selling anything, so my extensive profile is not an advertisement.

I agree 100%. My profile isn't really an ad.

[Brian]

I agree 100%. My profile isn't really an ad. Yeah, but then I think we would have mass confusion. People contacting each other for a date when they shouldn't. The idea of having 2 things: a Profile and a Personal Ad is to keep those two worlds seperate. A Personal Ad means you are willing (and looking) to meet people in person (for anything from coffee to sex). A Profile (most of it is under the About Me tab) is a way for us to share information with each other from a social networking standpoint.

We could tweak the names, but I think it is important to keep the two ideas separate and make it clear to members which is which, which the two current names do now.

- Drew :paw:

[Annika L]

A Personal Ad means you are willing (and looking) to meet people in person (for anything from coffee to sex). A Profile (most of it is under the About Me tab) is a way for us to share information with each other from a social networking standpoint.

Seriously? My "ad" says I'm not interested in dating...but the fact that I have it means I'm willing to hook up? And a profile (distinct from my "ad") is only the few items under "About Me"...there is no way to share additional information without being interested in "anything from coffee to sex"?

I'm dying to hear from other members who are not here to date, but who were assuring me a couple months ago, "oh, this place is whatever you make of it".

[bigbadmax]

I hate the fact that Drew is calling our new profiles ad's, it makes this site sound cheap in my mind...or maybe it needs modernising and get rid of the old foggies like me??????

what do you think, AD or PROFILE???

bbm

[Long Duck Dong]

mine is disabled at the moment, but I have a profile as I am not looking... those that are seeking, have ads / profiles...... people with issues with a word, have issues

[void()]

Seriously? My "ad" says I'm not interested in dating...but the fact that I have it means I'm willing to hook up? And a profile (distinct from my "ad") is only the few items under "About Me"...there is no way to share additional information without being interested in "anything from coffee to sex"?

I'm dying to hear from other members who are not here to date, but who were assuring me a couple months ago, "oh, this place is whatever you make of it".

Understand your points here. Am starting to agree.

[12voltman59]

I don't really consider my profile to serve as a dating ad---it really never has been my purpose on this site to use it for that purpose---if that happens that is fine. I had taken down the info and pics on my ad before the change since I had not changed all of that in several years and it was pretty ripe and stale material.

I have yet to take the time to post up some new photos and to put up new profile info to see how the new system works. I will try to get around to it one of these days.

[DifferentDevil]

Profile....but doesnt get much love. Maybe I should change it up to be more ad like.
"Dropped Chopped in Alabama Chrome; what the hell it runs, so.... Your's very truely; As Is"

[Brian]

I hate the fact that Drew is calling our new profiles ad's, it makes this site sound cheap in my mind

Honestly bbm, I don't quite understand the issue. First of all, the old site had Profiles and Personal Ads, separate, just like the new site does.

Second of all, I am not calling the Profiles, Personal Ads, you are.

I think the distinction between the two is not only crystal clear but perfectly logical and necessary. A Profile is something every member has - it gives you a chance to tell the community a bit about yourself. Even if you don't want to meet people, a Profile helps everyone to know your gender and location - basic info like that is important to help keep the site real.

On the other hand, A Personal Ad is totally different with a completely different purpose. When you place a Personal Ad you are telling people you would be interested in meeting (dating, sex, coffee, whatever). If we have a combined Profile/Personal Ad then how are users to indicate that they don't wish to be sent invitations to meet?

How else should we do it on a site that is both a general community site and also a dating site? To me it is simple and makes perfect sense. I don't see the problem.

Bisexual.com has always been both a community site and a dating site - if we were just one I am sure I would inundated with requests to add features to make it the other as well. I don't see any reason to change that fundamental nature of the site.

Maybe I am missing something though. Let me know, everyone, if you think that is the case.

- Drew :paw:

[mooon]

I like the zip code system. It works well on other sites I've seen.
It is SO helpful to know location. The current regional system is a bit too broad.
Because I live in a small town, if I don't want to be 'seen', I just use a nearby zip. Its close enough while still private.
Perhaps you might suggest that for the squeamish.

As to requiring complete profiles, I think it is futile to try to enforce such a thing.
Perhaps it would help to make clear the difference between "personal ads" and "about me" entries, and how they are used? An FAQ?
Maybe there is some incentive method that might encourage people to fill out their profiles?

BTW, I think you do a good job of supporting both community AND dating. If one doesn't want to date I don't see a problem.

[Brian]

Sometimes, in site design, the littlest details are important... is part of the problem that when you click on a username from the forums it goes to a pop-up that says "View Profile" which then goes to a page with tabs, one of which is "About Me" (which is really the Profile), and the other is the "Personal Ad" (if the user has one)? Maybe that is part of the confusion/issue.

It is more clear in each user's Control Panel where there are two sections, one to "Edit (one's) Profile" (which appears under the "About Me" tab), another to "Edit (one's) Personal Ad".

- Drew :paw:

[Brian]

Seriously? My "ad" says I'm not interested in dating...but the fact that I have it means I'm willing to hook up? And a profile (distinct from my "ad") is only the few items under "About Me"...there is no way to share additional information without being interested in "anything from coffee to sex"?

I see your point... there is currently no way in the Profiles to share the kind of information you are referring to, a "Tell Your Fellow Members a Bit About Yourself" section in other words.

And perhaps that is part of where bigbadmax is coming from.

- Drew :paw:

[Brian]

I've merged BigBadMax's thread and my thread - there was too much cross-posting of ideas starting.

- Drew :paw:

[Herculoid Poirot]

I see your point... there is currently no way in the Profiles to share the kind of information you are referring to, a "Tell Your Fellow Members a Bit About Yourself" section in other words.

And perhaps that is part of where bigbadmax is coming from.

- Drew :paw:

This is exactly what I was going to suggest - if there was a blank field in the profile section i'd move my ad information there. Then you could also make that the front page for each user.

[darkeyes]

I am unable to speak about Zip codes but our equivalent Post Codes can apply to a single street or even part of a street which may have 200 or even just 5 or less addresses and even on occasion a single address.. I assume we are not discussing publication of post codes.. but even then I think some may baulk at giving post codes because of fear it may compromise their identity.. and even by giving a false but close by Post Code may compromise a person or persons who have nothing to do with this site...

[Herculoid Poirot]

I am unable to speak about Zip codes but our equivalent Post Codes can apply to a single street or even part of a street which may have 200 or even just 5 or less addresses and even on occasion a single address.. I assume we are not discussing publication of post codes.. but even then I think some may baulk at giving post codes because of fear it may compromise their identity.. and even by giving a false but close by Post Code may compromise a person or persons who have nothing to do with this site...

it's true - i've been the only house with a given postal code!

Although calling that specific building a house would kind of be an insult to houses. more of a slum. or shack. or shanty.

[Brian]

it's true - i've been the only house with a given postal code! Point taken. Keep in mind that (if we did this) zip/postal codes would not be displayed. And the searcher also needs to enter zip/postal code. I think it is highly, highly unlikely that a zip/postal code system could be used to narrow down anyone's position closer than maybe half-a-mile, and even then it would require a lot of work (triangulation) and a zip/postal code map.

- Drew :paw:

[darkeyes]

Point taken. Keep in mind that (if we did this) zip/postal codes would not be displayed. And the searcher also needs to enter zip/postal code. I think it is highly, highly unlikely that a zip/postal code system could be used to narrow down anyone's position closer than maybe half-a-mile, and even then it would require a lot of work (triangulation) and a zip/postal code map.

- Drew :paw:Not so Droosy woosy... it is a simple matter in a little country like the UK to narrow many even most postal codes down to a few houses and even one. So id be very careful about using postal codes for UK addresses if I were u... it is not unknown in this country for people to be identified simply by their postal code...

[bigbadmax]

Drew,
Firstly you firstly named them ad's not me....the title of the thread reflects this.

Secondly the postal system as Fran states is totally different in the UK. Postal codes relate to STREET level an area and village/town/city. Anonimity would not be there and its not difficult to find with FULL postcode e.g TA relates to Taunton XX is the town number XX is the area number and X is the street/postal route in full it would read (not a real street that i know) TA99 9ZZ. In a village it would relate to as few as 1 maybe two houses!

[xtc4666]

I agree with someway of getting a little closer idea as to someone's location. Maybe being able to break areas into quadrants, Northwest, southwest etc,etc. I personally wouldn't mind seeing a age range option in in the search. My wife and I are not huge on age but we are not 60 and don't wanna have to open profiles to see someone's age. I believe that this site if done right has the ability to be a very informative and fun as well as beneficial site to the bi community. I believe someone should be able to put as much or as little info as they want. There will always be what I refer to as trolls, those only looking for mischief. No matter what you do they will be there. You have to protect yourself, especially online. This site I find being excellent in that one web site you have the ability to live chat, web forums, personal ads, latest news and even links. As well as there is no outrageous fees. It's completely free. From my browsing the web I always find good sites for straight and gay, but not for bi.

[tenni]

I think that postal code use is just too dangerous to be a universal requirement. I'd rather not see it being used but if it is make it optional. Internet privacy is a big issue and combined with various predators etc. I'm sure that you wouldn't want any member to experience difficulty, harassment, threats or violence for being on this site.

[bigbadmax]

I personally wouldn't mind seeing a age range option in in the search... not huge on age but we are not 60 and don't wanna have to open profiles to see someone's age.


I agree, I am only interested in certain age ranges as per contact, nil for friends but like the fact that you can see if couple, single etc.....maybe a sub section to say whether CD/DOM/SUB etc as would proove very useful.....Maybe a simple thing such as Just browsing/Looking for friends/hookup status that can be changed depending on mood/circumstances. This would stop inappropriate Pm's (well its a hope it would).

bbm

[Annika L]

I would not submit to a required zipcode field.

I live in a small area (not many people in my zipcode), and my name is sufficiently distinctive that although there are plenty of Annikas in the US, even plenty in my general region of the US, I am quite sure I am the only Annika in my zipcode. So sharing my zipcode effectively pinpoints my location. No way. And I can't be the only one in this position.

I would be faced with a choice either to outright lie (hmmm...maybe enter my old zipcode from when I lived in the midwest) or to leave. And if a large number of people are lying about their zipcode, how useful is it to have them there (the zipcodes or the people)? Or is it preferable that we all share real locations, but fake names?

On the other hand, I see nothing wrong with *offering* people the *choice* to list their zipcode...of course, people can already put it in their ad if they want to, but this would make it more "official" and encourage people to do it. It's just a field I would choose to leave blank.

[Annika L]

Oh, and don't fool yourself (Max or Drew): *nothing* will stop inappropriate or undesired pm's or solicitations. Nothing even seems to discourage them...except maybe turning off your pm box, which I don't particularly want to do.

Part of living in a sexualized society is receiving undesired solicitations for sex (most women in our culture know this too well)...make the society a bisexual one and men get to experience this phenomenon as well. Deal with it, rage against it, whatever, but I'm highly skeptical that you'll be able to change it.

[bigbadmax]

Annika,

I was not expecting a "status" to stop but maybe it would limit unwanted attention......No matter where you are in the world, there are those that can't adapt to reasonable society and do not accept boundries.

Same on here, except they are generally referred to as TROLLS. If these trolls were reported to Drew, with direct evidence(cut and paste conversation/send it) to him, then Im sure he will do the honourable thing and sort it.
Just because they are there, does not meen that they need to be tolerated.

[æonpax]

I have a Facebook account and lie like hell on it as far as revealing any personal info. FB is one of the webs worst offenders as far as keeping certain things private, the fact that they sell such information, non withstanding. If there was a guarantee of privacy, I would be more inclined to be open. One of things that attracted me here was this sites respect for such privacy.

My two cents.

[wanderingrichard]

the old adage, "how do you eat an elephant? one bite at a time." comes to mind in fixing this.

drop the "personal ads" completely. many people who want to "hook up" either do it thru the chatrooms, or via PM, mostly by reading the profiles anyway. well at least the more considerate ones do. Annika, trust me, i've been in the shoes of the unwanted solicitations, even with big signs warning blighters to go away and they don;t. it isn't fun.

in the cases where there is too broad an area to localize without privacy concerns, why not work with the resident members in each respective locale to help break the confusion? states and provinces may be nice for the america's, but in UK, Liberia, Espana, et al, you might need a township or somethng similar. so, it's a bite in the psoterior for you as a site owner to break it down as such, but you should end up with happier membership. I think if it's still an issue after that, then the member should be able to turn off all access to his/her member data, just as in past.

while i'm starting to adjust to some of the new features you;ve brought on with the updates, some of the feel and layout just hasnt set well for some reason., if i can put my finger on it I'll let you know.

[swmnkdinthervr]

I'm not certain if this applies directly to the ad but I would like to see distance as part of the initial info when searching "locally," very few people give their actual location giving only a state as reference.

[RickB-6969]

I like the idea of narrowing people down. I live in NE Fla and when I search for people it shows people six hours away in Miami, but not 30 min in southern GA. It is cumbersome.

On ebay to search locations you type your post code in and it finds items within a certain mile.

Can the post codes be hidden to the searcher, and when searched it may show 25, 50, 100 miles away but does not show the other persons code, just shows that they are within X miles from your post code.

But all of these things also should be optional to the individual.

Bottom line, hide the post/zip code to all but the search engine,

[Alloiledup]

I am on another site that uses zip codes. The actual zip codes are NOT displayed. All it really does is to tell if the person is close to you within a min. 5 km radius so it is kinda nice for people who are looking to meet. I think for us to live in free countries and for people who want to meet, it could be an option to enter zip codes. Like Drew said, first, the zip codes are not displayed. Second, it does take 2 to tango. The profilers have the OPTION to enter zip codes or not on their profiles. It is an option and not mandatory and the zip codes are NOT displayed. So, for people who want to meet and narrow down the search, it is nice. For people who don't want to meet and feel it could be an intrusion of privacy, then don't enter your zip codes on your profiles then. If you don't enter the zip codes, you won't come up in searches by proximity of distance. If you do enter your zip codes, then you are saying you like to be identified by searchers how close you are to them. Make it an optional field i.e. with no asterisks beside the field so it is not a mandatory thing to fill out when completing a profile. Put a footnote beside the field so the individual would know that his profile could come up in searches by proximity of distance. I think Drew can think of many data fields to be optional for people who want to be identified in searches. Zip codes is one of these many fields. Other fields could include say your primary interest of the site. There can even be a field to check or uncheck whether you want to meet new people. If unchecked, then the zip codes searches thing would automatically be disabled. There are many ways one could think of that would work well for people who want to meet, and people who don't.

[Brian]

I live in NE Fla and when I search for people it shows people six hours away in Miami, but not 30 min in southern GA. It is cumbersome.

Just in case you don't know... you can now search multiple areas at the same time (so FL and GA at the same time) - screenshot that shows how to do so is in this post: http://www.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?12489-New-Site-Tips-Avatars-Search-Personal-Ads-Groups&p=221754&viewfull=1#post221754


Can the post codes be hidden to the searcher, and when searched it may show 25, 50, 100 miles away but does not show the other persons code, just shows that they are within X miles from your post code. That is a hell of a suggestion. That would address the actual privacy concern. There would still be the perceived privacy concern - that is, people just being uncomfortable about entering their zip/postal code at all.

- Drew :paw:

[sexual26]

I personally think it is good the way it is. Yeah it may need some work in some locations with broad areas. I don't have any original ideas for that but the idea of breaking areas up into quadrants of north, south ,etc would help. As far ss the ad/profile issue this is the way it has been since i originally joined this site in 07 and don't understand why some are having a problem with it. I know a lot of people use the ad as their profile which doesn't bother me. As when I'm looking through the ads i actually take the time to read them so i can get an idea some what of who those i'm looking at are. That also allows me to know if their looking for a hook up or not.


When I first came to this site it was after coming out to my wife and I came looking for answers and advise which the folks whom were here gladly helped me with. Now im here not just for info but the possible date as well and I appreciate the fact that i can do both here and I appreciate that Drew has kept it community/dating site.

[**Peg**]

...I live in a small area (not many people in my zipcode), and my name is sufficiently distinctive that although there are plenty of Annikas in the US, even plenty in my general region of the US, I am quite sure I am the only Annika in my zipcode. So sharing my zipcode effectively pinpoints my location....

Back in the dark ages when I got my first computer, and before the "internet" (we used a "freenet" through the local university) a professor warned me to never use my real name in an anonymous community, never to reveal my location nor post a face picture of myself. That man was a prophet! Little did he know in 1989 that this would explode the way it has. I never have revealed those details, because, like you, Annika, my real name is distinctive, and it isn't Peg.

[NjbiGuy01]

Drew: Thanks for your concerns about the site, and you wanting to make it all it can be ! One problem that seems to be a touchy subject for many of these types of websites is somehow monitoring the people on it to maintain the quality of the people here. I know it sounds like something from George Orwell, but I like to think of a site like this as a "private club" concerned about the quality of it's members. Things like checking IP addresses (so people don't have multiple profiles, or get suspended and then return, are all possible issues to monitor.

I've had a few positive experiences from this site and met some nice folks, but there are also a never ending stream of people who are rude enough to think simply not replying to your PM or e-mail is perfectly fine. You see them log on and off throughout the days and weeks. You know they've been here, but they think its fine to simply ignore you....I know it's not only here. Many other sites suffer from this pandemic...sorry, but one of my pet peeves is being ignored when I leave a phone message, send an e-mail, or whatever.....

Perhaps if a profile could be cited by other users, and once a quota is achieved (3-strikes you're out), a moderator could contact that person about their conduct, or at-least set up an auto response warning them about their conduct.

Now, keep in mind, I write to people who are in my age range, with my sexual preferences, and close to my general area (within say an hour or less). It would seem there is no reason to not drop a note, even if to say "no thanks". The fact that people (some of which I share common friends on this site with) think it's perfectly okay to simply ignore your contact is troubling. So, even saying "Hey you and I both know Joe"...or "Joe said he thought we would get along well..." doesn't seem to matter.

If there are dead profiles, or people who act like this, do we really need them here ? Groucho Marx once said "I wouldn't join any club that would have ME as a member".. I don't want to sound like I'm suggesting we be rude or elitist, but we should try to have and maintain some kind of quality standard..despite it being a free site.

I've brought this up on other sites, to wildly mixed responses. Some agree, many don't like the concept, but lets face it: this place is somewhat like a dating site. What say folks ??

[bisocialnudist]

I agree that this is both a community site and a dating/friends etc site so I have always had an issue with the space that allow me to tell more about me is also called an ad. I think the solution is to have a profile (about me) where we can say as much or as little as we want about who we are AND an optional ad for what if anything we are looking for. Please do not add specific questions because there will always be someone where that does not apply or its not what they are looking for. Things I like about the existing ad system include the filtered by state and sort by most recently updated/added. The free form ad allows those who wish to include a general area and I think that works. Free form lets us be as specific as we want.

Anyway I agree that those who are here primarily for a birds of a feather . me too and I understand support network find that calling an about me profile a personal ad sends a mixed message whereas an about me profile could easily include by the way Im also looking for a FWB or even add an additional block to a regular profile looking for: The current ad list would become a summary of the profile looking for block. So click on the name see their profile , want to see who is in your area thats looking go to the personal ad list just like we do now. If that makes any sense.As a start simply adding a open format text box in the about me tab would help keep the about me and ad info seperate. Thanks for asking for feedback. This site offers a lot of things to a lot of different people, I think the changes on the new site will be a good thing for our bisexual community.

Mark

[Alloiledup]

That is a hell of a suggestion. That would address the actual privacy concern. There would still be the perceived privacy concern - that is, people just being uncomfortable about entering their zip/postal code at all.- Drew :paw:

I think to address the perceived privacy concern, it is imperative that members of the site understand the rules and disclaimers of the site. Zip codes are for the purpose of identifying location. Zip codes by themselves are not inherently evil. It all depends on the appropriateness of use. If we use things appropriately, they can add value. If they are abused, they could pose harm. Leave the choice to the members who put their profiles together. They NEED to know the rules and the disclaimers of the site that it is their own choice and responsibility of what they put in their profiles on a website that is accessible by the general public, or they could have the choice to turn off their profiles. It's like someone may not want to disclose his religion or sex or race or skin colour or sexual orientation. If you don't want to expose yourself, then don't fill out sections of the profiles that are optional. If the member chooses to fill out certain info, he must understand the rules and disclaimers of the site. It's entirely his responsibility what he fills in. Would you put your credit card info on a site and let it be exposed to public? No, you wouldn't if you are in the right mind. So, same for zip codes, if you feel it poses no harm to input zip codes, or sex, or religion, or sexual orientation etc, input the info. If you feel it could pose harm, then don't. No one is twisting your arm to do what you don't want to do. Therefore other than maybe a mandatory handle or some other rather basic information, most fields on a profile can be optional. You fill in whatever your heart desires. If you perceive issues with privacy, don't fill out your zip codes or other info. If you feel comfortable enough to do so, members should have the option to do so. Make the profiles flexible, not restrictive and I think this is the way to go.

[fubar13]

Why not have two list, one for those looking to find someone & a separate list for those looking more for forums, chat etc. Such as you have with different chat rooms for different interest. That way a person wouldn't be subjected to a pic of a penis or something else as offensive to them. That way those that are looking for a specific "need" would have a place to go where they know the other people posted there are looking for same thing they are.

[ErosUrge]

I have enjoyed this site for many reasons and have no issue with it being both for community and possibly making a date for coffee, sex, or conversation. Most of my time spent here has been for community and I've found it very rewarding. Yet at the same time being a single person, I am interested in making connections sexually or otherwise. And I don't look at this site as primarily trying to hook up. I have made friends here as well where I've gotten together with certain individuals with no sex at all. In addition, I have also made long distance connections with messages exchanged back and forth and two people in particular have become great friends. There is no intention for sexual play. Yet, I like the idea that if that's something we want it can happen here.

I understand the concerns of others about zip or postal codes. It's not an issue for me because my zip code applies to a large area. But in other areas where there can be a few or just one residence in that particular code, I probably would be concerned too were it me.

One reason I became a member years ago was the fact that I was finally able to be a part of a place where there were other bisexuals or people who were tolerant of us. A place to share thoughts, feelings, ideas, etc. I've learned a lot here. And I've also learned there are various ideas concerning bisexuality that are different from mine; some that I agree with and some that I am in disagreement with. Finally, there has always been the hope that one day I would finally connect with a person (a woman) where something of signifcance could happen. It hasn't but I don't lose hope. I appreciate this site very much.