I have a great partner but I still love my ex.

[Lay-Lay]

Like the title says I have a great partner but I still love my ex. I know I will never stop loving in but I just want to stop thinking about him. We have been apart for 2 years and I have been with my current partner for a year. I feel like I can't move on. We are even in different states and I still can't let him go. But I love my partner that I have now so much, he is a better man and lover then my Ex completely. He takes care of me and he wants to marry me and I want to marry him. Me and my ex don't talk and I would never try in my life to go back with him. He just doesn't deserve the love that I still feel for him. I want to give all of my love and focus to my current partner, but I just know that will never happen. I truly understand now why they say that the fist love is the deepest. But I can honestly say I don't regret being with my ex because it has shown me how great the man is that I have now.

So tell me about your ex and your current love, or maybe just your ex. I just want to know that I'm not alone. :)

[Realist]

Nope, you're not the first, nor the last, to feel torn the way you do. I've been down that road, myself.

Even when you're in a better situation, sometimes it's difficult to get over the past.

I'm so sorry; wish I could tell you how to get over him, but each of us have to make that journey for ourselves.

How I did it was to keep very busy, put all of my effort in the next relationship and try to fill my life so full that there was no room to think of anything else. I gradually got over her and found where I was was better than where I'd been.

I actually built a house, had both a female and male lover, too. Along with my job, I had no energy left at the end of the day to think of anything else!

Worked for me. Before I knew it, she was less and less on my mind, until I rarely thought of her...I was able to move on, then.

Good luck on your life's adventure!

[Lay-Lay]

Thank you. I have thought of him a little less since I got my puppy, she is a handful. I just need to find other hobbies as well. I love it when I learn something new so thank you for teaching me :)

[FunE1]

I was deeply in love with my second wife. After we separated/divorced, it would take almost 10 years before I stopped having very strong feelings of loss and love.

There is no real technique... Time passes, you develop a better perspective on things and can more easily see the flaws that you overlooked before, other people pass through your life who help you understand that you can love many people, and, ultimately, you tire of the energy it takes to think of that person.

All you can do now is look forward, enjoy the memories of your past relationship, and stay open to all the possibilities in your current one.

[Lay-Lay]

I was deeply in love with my second wife. After we separated/divorced, it would take almost 10 years before I stopped having very strong feelings of loss and love.

There is no real technique... Time passes, you develop a better perspective on things and can more easily see the flaws that you overlooked before, other people pass through your life who help you understand that you can love many people, and, ultimately, you tire of the energy it takes to think of that person.

All you can do now is look forward, enjoy the memories of your past relationship, and stay open to all the possibilities in your current one.

I hope so. I just always feel so guilty for thinking of my EX while my current partner is so much better than my EX.

[ohmymy69]

Time is the only healing potion...BUT...a fixation that goes on for an extended period can be more/less than love. Sadly a love that builds over time often takes just as long to heal from, it's not always wise to enter into a committed relationship with unresolved issues/feelings from a past relationship!

If you and those around you that care about you feel that your yearnings for your ex have gone on for too long it's possible they/you are correct! At that point you might need someone professional to confide your feelings to so you can get past this fixation/obsession.

[Lay-Lay]

Time is the only healing potion...BUT...a fixation that goes on for an extended period can be more/less than love. Sadly a love that builds over time often takes just as long to heal from, it's not always wise to enter into a committed relationship with unresolved issues/feelings from a past relationship!

If you and those around you that care about you feel that your yearnings for your ex have gone on for too long it's possible they/you are correct! At that point you might need someone professional to confide your feelings to so you can get past this fixation/obsession.

It is certainly not a fixation/obsession. I love him but not in the way that I want to be with him. It is not unusual to still love a person years after you and said person are broken up. And I should clarify that I mean I can't get him out of my thoughts. I let go or our relationship a long time ago. I just wanted to know that I wasn't the only person to feel this way.

If the opportunity ever presented itself for me and my EX to be together again I would surly decline it even if I am not with my current partner or anyone else. There is a reason he is my EX and I know that.

[Realist]

You've dome something that many find impossible to do...that is to let your brain decide what is best for you, rather than your heart!

Internal conflicts can be devastating, sometimes...I know.

Takes a strong and intelligent person to win against those odds!

From my perspective, you did what was best.

[marie0021]

ive got a fixation for my ex. 2 years later i cant get over it. i hate it. ive dated other people, but i cant get him out of my head. its very frustrating.

[ohmymy69]

It is certainly not a fixation/obsession. I love him but not in the way that I want to be with him. It is not unusual to still love a person years after you and said person are broken up. And I should clarify that I mean I can't get him out of my thoughts. I let go or our relationship a long time ago. I just wanted to know that I wasn't the only person to feel this way.

If the opportunity ever presented itself for me and my EX to be together again I would surly decline it even if I am not with my current partner or anyone else. There is a reason he is my EX and I know that.
Good for you, that's the healthy approach! So many people empower their former lovers/ex's by dragging them forward into their present world. That makes it impossible to live in the now! Time is the answer, I hope your letting go is painless and swift!