Feeling like I'm ages behind...

[dseven]

Hi, today I came to a horrible realization, I don't know if it's the right one, but right now I'm feeling like shit, I can't help to compare myself with others, I know I shouldn't be doing that and I know that until I completely know every single part of another person's life, I can't truly and objectively compare it to mine and say yeah, he has a better or worse life than me.

The problem is that the other day I made out with a guy, everything nice and whatever, and then he started talking about his exes, guys, girls, he is only 18 and he's already been with a lot of people, I mean, he had sex with girls, with guys he really enjoys his sexuality to the full.

I just fucking can't do that, I'm 20 years old and still I haven't had a single girlfriend, I girl that loves me and feels connected to me. I feel like no girl will ever wanna be with me, and it's not because I'm ugly, I'm attractive, I would really do myself and I know for what other people tells me, that I'm kinda hot.

But I hate being fucking shy and it's like I put the fucking women on a pedestal and they just look to me from there like saying "you're never gonna get me". I hate being a fucking nice guy.
And I start asking myself, what the fuck is wrong with me??

I need some advice, please.
Dseven.

[Realist]

D,

It does seem like nice guys often finish last in the race of life, but being yourself is important. If you change, you may have to settle for less than you want.

I promise you there is someone, somewhere, who will love you for being yourself. After playing games for most of my life, I discovered I really could be accepted for being my true self. You may be impatient and eager to meet someone, but when the right one appears, you'll realize the wait was worth it.

Now, if you're just looking for something quick and easy, there's plenty of people who are willing to be a one-time thing, too. You'll have to get advice from others for that, because I've always been more relationship-prone, myself.

[Gearbox]

I have a neighbour who's not 'hot' in the usual sense. He's not good-looking in the usual sense either.
BUT he's so damn sexy because he's confidant and not shy about ANYTHING sexual on his mind. He has that magnetism.You just know he'd give you a dead cert good time.
I'd fuck him at the drop of a hat! (if he swung my way).

Being shy is a terrible thing, as you know. But you just got to get out of the 'Hope I don't make a fool of myself' syndrome.
That neighbour talks shit 24/7. Yet he has no probs with the ladies. They don't care if he talks crap all night! They want self confidence before a maths degree.
Admittedly he's got into more knickers than relationships, but it's a start!:bigrin:

I used to be shy. But that died a tragic death the day I realised that I was taking things way to seriously for my own good.;)

[BiDaveDtown]

Did you have sex with the guy who you made out with?

That would have solved the problem and made you experienced and you would have gotten laid.

No you're not ages behind, you're 20 and you have the rest of your life to date, have relationships with people, and have sex with people stop putting so much pressure on yourself.

[dseven]

I don't feel like having sex with a guy, I'm a virgin that way (I'm almost a virgin with girls too since I've only had had sex with two of them), and I wanna for now keep it that way, I have this feeling that being with guys is "settling for the easy choice", I can't help it, but it's like guys are so easy and they just fall out of the sky, the other day a guy added me to my facebook and told me "I just added you cos I think you're hot". I mean, I could have that guy on my bed in 20 minutes, there's no "gender barrier" and no shyness, everything is just laid there.

I need to have sex with a girl, I've taken so much crap from a lot of girls that I feel like no girl will ever love me, I feel like they sense me as weak and easy to manipulate I hate being shy but I can't help it, I'm scared of what other people might say, even though I know that they won't say anything cos most of the times that people are my closest friends who I know I can relay on.

I know that some of you guys might look down on me for not wanting to be with guys even though I could totally do it, but I feel like I need to be with a girl first, have a relationship, build my self-steem, feel loved and appreciated and then I might want a relationship with a guy, or maybe just sex or I don't know.

I need to stop being shy, how can I do that?

Edit: Now that I think about it, it's not really that I'm shy, cos I can go and start a conversation with someone, it's more like I usually don't get a response from the other person, that happens often when that other person is a girl. I could go and talk with a girl, say "hi, I'm Alex, what's your name?" but usually I don't know what to say after that, or I start with clichés or whatever, and I just usually wanna get in the girl's pants, but that doesn't mean I could get to love her...

[matutum]

I don't feel like having sex with a guy, I'm a virgin that way (I'm almost a virgin with girls too since I've only had had sex with two of them), and I wanna for now keep it that way, I have this feeling that being with guys is "settling for the easy choice", I can't help it, but it's like guys are so easy and they just fall out of the sky, the other day a guy added me to my facebook and told me "I just added you cos I think you're hot". I mean, I could have that guy on my bed in 20 minutes, there's no "gender barrier" and no shyness, everything is just laid there.

I need to have sex with a girl, I've taken so much crap from a lot of girls that I feel like no girl will ever love me, I feel like they sense me as weak and easy to manipulate I hate being shy but I can't help it, I'm scared of what other people might say, even though I know that they won't say anything cos most of the times that people are my closest friends who I know I can relay on.

I know that some of you guys might look down on me for not wanting to be with guys even though I could totally do it, but I feel like I need to be with a girl first, have a relationship, build my self-steem, feel loved and appreciated and then I might want a relationship with a guy, or maybe just sex or I don't know.

I need to stop being shy, how can I do that?

Edit: Now that I think about it, it's not really that I'm shy, cos I can go and start a conversation with someone, it's more like I usually don't get a response from the other person, that happens often when that other person is a girl. I could go and talk with a girl, say "hi, I'm Alex, what's your name?" but usually I don't know what to say after that, or I start with clichés or whatever, and I just usually wanna get in the girl's pants, but that doesn't mean I could get to love her...

Retain your dignity,and morals and what ever makes you you!Don't be swayed by others as to what is right and wrong.In your brain you know what is right or wrong and which way to go.

[berryhard]

i was a bit shy when youunger. due to that i have missed out on many things that i can never go back to. as it turns out i was better looking, more pleasent and funnier then i thought at the time. Took me lots ot find that out.
one big thing to remember is we so often deny ourselfs what we deserve. insecurity and society impose that on us, as well as life and our parents.
break out of that now while your young and full of energy. a lot of what you have slowing yourself down is inside your head, you can control that. easily.

not to get all new age here but it starts small. figure out waht you really want. specificallly what will make u happy. be real with yourself, do you really want to be a millionare ? do you reallyevery need a 12" cock ? or do you want a mate, to be happpy. make a list of what you want youlife to look like.
every day tell yourself you will have those things. you deserve them. figure out how to get them and go do it. convince yourself that you will get them and when you see adversity shrug it off and try harder.
and read the four agreements by Ruiz. it is like Zen 101 and really makkes a differeance if you can get what they really say and believe it.
myseceretaddress@hotmail.com is my email if you ever want to chat.
i been trhough lots of shit in my life and in many ways still am but i have over come many barriers and am seeing happiness and sucess i wished for when i was 18. im no professional, jsut a guy who has been there done that.