View Full Version : Are there women who prefer a Bi man?
cplpleaser
Jul 18, 2011, 12:51 AM
It may seem like a strange question but I am curious. It would seem that a bi woman may prefer a bi male partner. I don't remember ever seeing a female seeking a bi male. Yet there are couples where both are bi. Is it they found each other by chance.
ErosUrge
Jul 18, 2011, 1:53 AM
It may seem like a strange question but I am curious. It would seem that a bi woman may prefer a bi male partner. I don't remember ever seeing a female seeking a bi male. Yet there are couples where both are bi. Is it they found each other by chance.
It's the very situation I too am looking for and you can be sure that there are several such couples in which both are bi or one or the other is. Very often when it's where one is bi, it happens to be the woman. But there are many instances where it's the man who is bi and the woman is straignt. I know 2 couples who have been together for many years. One where both are bi and very happy last time I communicated with them and the other where the husband is bi who have been together longer and also are quite happy. The second couple the wife is straight but accepts and allows her husband to enjoy men as long as he is willing to share them with her. And the first couple who are both bi have monthly get togethers with other bi couples and singles to fulfill their same sex appetites. They've been together 23 years and have been doing this the entire time they've been together. As the wife told me, the times in between such excursions they are completely devoted to each other and always communicate with each other clearly. In all their years together, they have never had a major blow out of any sort; only minor ones which they addressed quickly and resolved. I am still believing that such is a possibility for myself also. Yet I've resigned to the idea that it might not ever happen and have learned to be content with the goodness of my life just the same. So after elaborating on all this and to get directly to your question; Yes, there are bi women who prefer a bi man.....
NjbiGuy01
Jul 18, 2011, 10:53 AM
I find it odd that there are many bi women who simply do not care for bi men !? It seems somewhat strange they themselves would be bi, and yet they seem to shun the whole idea.
Don't get me wrong; I've met a number of open minded women and couples who freely accept bi male play, but it seems pretty off balance to me.. Oddly, a gal I see who's thinks shes not bi (although her sister is gay), gets turned on by my telling her of my male play, and seems open to possibly having a male friend join us in the future....
ohmymy69
Jul 18, 2011, 3:40 PM
I now prefer a bi man, I didn't recognize that prior to meeting my husband. Actually I knew nothing of my own bi curiosity until I worked past all the repressed feelings from my childhood after meeting him.
Most of the bi women I know dislike bi men, mostly because of the same homophobia that most men display about bisexuality...at least those I've spoken with. It appears to be a mix of ignorance and fear!
ErosUrge
Jul 18, 2011, 4:35 PM
I find it odd that there are many bi women who simply do not care for bi men !? It seems somewhat strange they themselves would be bi, and yet they seem to shun the whole idea.
Don't get me wrong; I've met a number of open minded women and couples who freely accept bi male play, but it seems pretty off balance to me.. Oddly, a gal I see who's thinks shes not bi (although her sister is gay), gets turned on by my telling her of my male play, and seems open to possibly having a male friend join us in the future....
Yes, I've never understood this. I've contacted bi women through certain websites that I thought would be interested in being with a bi man. And I've received messages on more than just one occasion stating that they were not interested in a bi man whatsoever. And like you, I've met and know a number of open minded women and couples and do play with them from time to time. But I agree, it does seem to be off balance. Best wishes with the girl that gets turned on hearing about your play with guys. Hopefully it will come together with another male for you both to play with.
ErosUrge
Jul 18, 2011, 4:39 PM
I now prefer a bi man, I didn't recognize that prior to meeting my husband. Actually I knew nothing of my own bi curiosity until I worked past all the repressed feelings from my childhood after meeting him.
Most of the bi women I know dislike bi men, mostly because of the same homophobia that most men display about bisexuality...at least those I've spoken with. It appears to be a mix of ignorance and fear!
Glad to know that there's another woman like you who has reached such an understanding. I know there are several out there like you and it's always encouraging to know this. Now for me to meet one who is single and interested in getting involved in a devoted situation with the openess to enjoy others.
NjbiGuy01
Jul 18, 2011, 5:29 PM
Yes, I've never understood this. I've contacted bi women through certain websites that I thought would be interested in being with a bi man. And I've received messages on more than just one occasion stating that they were not interested in a bi man whatsoever. And like you, I've met and know a number of open minded women and couples and do play with them from time to time. But I agree, it does seem to be off balance. Best wishes with the girl that gets turned on hearing about your play with guys. Hopefully it will come together with another male for you both to play with.
Me too !! lol. It's funny, she often says "who knows what might happen after I relax with a couple of drinks"...she does get horny and mellow after some wine, and starts talking uber dirty about lots of hot things....I even asked if she would let a woman eat her out, and she said "who knows, I never say never"...yet she's actually pretty conservative and professional and you'd never suspect who she is behind closed doors....and I like it ! :bigrin:
Realist
Jul 18, 2011, 5:31 PM
I met my bi GF right here in 2008; we've been together since. It's been the most remarkable relationship of my life!
But, my 1st wife was bi and definitely didn't want to be with a bisexual man. Knowing this, I never told her I was bi and didn't cheat on her, but was tempted more than once. If I hadn't loved her so deeply, I think there might have been a problem.
lizard-lix
Jul 18, 2011, 6:01 PM
The two bi women I am close with both think bi guys are hot...
Both have left open invites... (but we are all in committed relationships with straight SOs, so it is still a wistful dream)...
dbltrbl69
Jul 18, 2011, 8:33 PM
When Wendy and I first started chatting before our first date I admitted I was bi, she was incredibly turned on about it, but I was hesitant cuz my ex who had some bi play herself was against it. Well last week as Wendy watched me sucking cock she laid on the bed and joined me, looked me deep in the eyes and said "I love you so much baby, see...I told you I thought it was so damn hot and sexy". Wow!!! So many guilt issues I thought I had conquered but didn't, flew out the window as we shared our first cock. Inccidently she was very put of when the bi male we had with us turned out to be more or less a poser refusing to do all he claimed he was into...she says we both deserve to be equally pleased, and we just have to keep searching for the right people... Love that lady...hope you find someone out there as great.
Long Duck Dong
Jul 18, 2011, 11:13 PM
talk to the ladies that are not interested in bi guys and find out why they are not interested in bi guys......
over the years that I have spoken with bi ladies that are not interested in a bi relationship, often they have commented about they are ok with bi guys but not interested in the open/ regular other person sex, type relationships..... so its worth asking people for their opinions
ErosUrge
Jul 19, 2011, 12:24 AM
talk to the ladies that are not interested in bi guys and find out why they are not interested in bi guys......
over the years that I have spoken with bi ladies that are not interested in a bi relationship, often they have commented about they are ok with bi guys but not interested in the open/ regular other person sex, type relationships..... so its worth asking people for their opinions
oh dear!...I do respect your input, but please don't assume that all of us have not asked why. And often it's for the reasons you point out about not being interested in the "open/regular other person sex type relationships"....
That is fine and I don't object to anyone having what it is that pleases them.
I have spoken with such ladies also who have made the comment that you posted. Others I have spoken to say that they don't agree to men being with each other sexually and that it is a turn off for them. Yet at the same time, they want the freedom to explore with women even if in a relationship with a man. One told me, "I just don't like the idea of a man fucking or sucking another man; it turns my stomach." She was bi and was adamant about this.
A question I will pose is how is it one claims to be bisexual once they've closed the door to anymore experiences with the same sex and choose to remain monogamous in a relationship with no other activity ever again? Understand, I am not against anyone choosing this. But being bi in the present means that one is still engaged in sexual activity with both sexes. One may have been that way prior to choosing to be monogamous, but once the choice for monogamy is set and lived by, then claims to being bisexual can only have meaning in the past tense. And I know there are those who after choosing monogamy still have desires for the same sex or if with the same sex have desires for the opposite sex yet have chosen to adhere to devotion to one person. Again, there's nothing wrong with this and don't want to be interpreted as though I am against it.
I also don't think there's anything wrong with bi women who are not interested in bi men as its their right and their choice. I think it's just perplexing since some women who are bi and want to be able to have the freedom to enjoy women could never imagine allowing the same with the man in their life.
Being in an open relationship where play is allowed is certainly not for everyone. And I would never insist that someone be that way. But it needs to be said that there are many couples who are truly in love with one another and would never exit from the relationship though they both engage in play with others. I know two such couples who have been together for many years. There are of course parameters and mutual respect and communication. And these excursions are not the priority in their lives but are a part of it that is of some importance to them. They never lose sight that their relationship is the most important.
So to conclude and to return to the origin of this topic; yes indeed, there are women who prefer a bi man.
ErosUrge
Jul 19, 2011, 12:26 AM
Me too !! lol. It's funny, she often says "who knows what might happen after I relax with a couple of drinks"...she does get horny and mellow after some wine, and starts talking uber dirty about lots of hot things....I even asked if she would let a woman eat her out, and she said "who knows, I never say never"...yet she's actually pretty conservative and professional and you'd never suspect who she is behind closed doors....and I like it ! :bigrin:
Yes I can see how it would be a major turn on....hope it works out.
DuckiesDarling
Jul 19, 2011, 12:28 AM
This may sound corny, but it was always the man himself that I was interested in not his sexuality. If he was wanting to be with me then he was at least interested in females and that's all I cared about at the moment. :2cents:
ErosUrge
Jul 19, 2011, 1:41 AM
This may sound corny, but it was always the man himself that I was interested in not his sexuality. If he was wanting to be with me then he was at least interested in females and that's all I cared about at the moment. :2cents:
It doesn't sound corny at all. And of course, this is my priority as well. I would want that more than anything. But of course my sexuality being what it is I refuse to hide. It is in that moment of revealing it that determines whether a woman chooses to continue with me or not. If not then a friendship is a wonderful thing all the same. I have always adored women, but my appetite to be with men sexually only has always been with me and a part of my life. Thanks for your comment.
Long Duck Dong
Jul 19, 2011, 4:55 AM
oh dear!...I do respect your input, but please don't assume that all of us have not asked why. And often it's for the reasons you point out about not being interested in the "open/regular other person sex type relationships"....
That is fine and I don't object to anyone having what it is that pleases them.
I have spoken with such ladies also who have made the comment that you posted. Others I have spoken to say that they don't agree to men being with each other sexually and that it is a turn off for them. Yet at the same time, they want the freedom to explore with women even if in a relationship with a man. One told me, "I just don't like the idea of a man fucking or sucking another man; it turns my stomach." She was bi and was adamant about this.
A question I will pose is how is it one claims to be bisexual once they've closed the door to anymore experiences with the same sex and choose to remain monogamous in a relationship with no other activity ever again? Understand, I am not against anyone choosing this. But being bi in the present means that one is still engaged in sexual activity with both sexes. One may have been that way prior to choosing to be monogamous, but once the choice for monogamy is set and lived by, then claims to being bisexual can only have meaning in the past tense. And I know there are those who after choosing monogamy still have desires for the same sex or if with the same sex have desires for the opposite sex yet have chosen to adhere to devotion to one person. Again, there's nothing wrong with this and don't want to be interpreted as though I am against it.
I also don't think there's anything wrong with bi women who are not interested in bi men as its their right and their choice. I think it's just perplexing since some women who are bi and want to be able to have the freedom to enjoy women could never imagine allowing the same with the man in their life.
Being in an open relationship where play is allowed is certainly not for everyone. And I would never insist that someone be that way. But it needs to be said that there are many couples who are truly in love with one another and would never exit from the relationship though they both engage in play with others. I know two such couples who have been together for many years. There are of course parameters and mutual respect and communication. And these excursions are not the priority in their lives but are a part of it that is of some importance to them. They never lose sight that their relationship is the most important.
So to conclude and to return to the origin of this topic; yes indeed, there are women who prefer a bi man.
I am not assuming anything.... I am making the comment, as we all do, that communication is the key.... sorry if it appeared that I was assuming anything
yeah like you, I have met bi people that do not find the idea of male on male or female on female sex appealing... and I just shrug.... cos its no different to our own likes and dislikes.... but its somehow seen as wrong that a bi person is not interested in same sex interaction by the other gender.....
not sure how people get the idea that all bisexuals enjoy opposite gender coupling... but thats something that has been enforced by some bisexual people with their vocal attitudes towards sex, and so its become a misunderstanding that all bisexual people are the same way.....
your question about being bisexual and monogamous..... lol, I often just answer that with a answer like * when the viagra fails and sex is not on the menu any more, then what is your sexuality *.... and most people will say they are still bisexual.... and thats why I say, well thats your answer.....
the thing I enjoy about your question is that people will use one defination for themselves, and another for other people..... but the trouble there is often the defination they use for other people, invalidates their own sexuality.... and the defination they use for themselves, invalidates others sexualites....
its why I do not define sexuality, cos its too fucking varied to be defined...and pisses off too many people when you try to define it lol
ohmymy69
Jul 19, 2011, 10:38 AM
Glad to know that there's another woman like you who has reached such an understanding. I know there are several out there like you and it's always encouraging to know this. Now for me to meet one who is single and interested in getting involved in a devoted situation with the openess to enjoy others.
I'm proof there is someone special for everyone! Nobody including me would have ever guessed that someone like my husband and I would be a match. We are indeed true soul mates. When I stopped "shopping" and having a list I found what I've always needed...evidently it just wasn't time yet!
bubbly
Jul 19, 2011, 11:01 AM
Maybe I'm a little off..but what does being a bisexual have to do with monogamy? I always thought the sexualities (bi, gay, hetero, etc.,,) just had to do with what gender you are sexually (and sometimes emotionally) attracted to. Monogamy and Polygamy were a separate category, that defines how you structure your relationships. So, why wouldn't it be completely OK to be bisexual & monogamous ( or poly & straight)?..just because you don't chose to act on all your sexual desires, does not take away from the fact that they are still there. A bi guy may chose to live monogamously, but that won't take away from his appreciation or attraction to the same sex. Just like a happily, monogamously married guy usually can't stop himself from taking a second glance at a nice set of boobs he sees at the mall. Some people find that elusive "one" person who makes them completely happy...and whether they are bisexual or straight is irrelevant.
:2cents:
tenni
Jul 19, 2011, 12:53 PM
Bubbly
It is my perspective that you may be thinking from a monosexual perspective. It is ok for a bisexual to be monogamous but monogamy just doesn't work for some bisexuals. I don't know about monosexuals and monogamy /poly exactly but it just seems to be a bit different for some bisexuals.
It is unfulfilling and an incomplete life for some bisexuals not to have sex with both genders.
For a monosexual or asexual the questions around monogamy may be different from some bisexuals. There seems to be no universal but some bisexuals not only are sexually attracted to both genders but "need" sexual activity with both genders in order to be happy with themselves. That is slightly different from what you wrote about chosing to act or not act on your sexual desires imo. It is a much more stronger need. Sex is a basic physiological need according to Maslow. For some bisexuals this need may not be resolved by having sex with only one gender.
Those bi guys who are comfortable living in a monogomous relationship with a man or a woman are not dealing with the "need" aspect that some other bisexuals seem to experience. It is not just an appreciation of the same sex for some though as it is much more intense than an appreciation. Add to this the possibility of the ebb and flow aspect of need for one gender or the other and it gets complex to deal with.
NotLostJustWandering
Jul 19, 2011, 2:09 PM
A question I will pose is how is it one claims to be bisexual once they've closed the door to anymore experiences with the same sex and choose to remain monogamous in a relationship with no other activity ever again? Understand, I am not against anyone choosing this. But being bi in the present means that one is still engaged in sexual activity with both sexes.
WTF?
I had a hamburger for dinner last night. Tomorrow I'm having chicken. But tonight I'm having tofu. Am I a vegetarian tonight?
It pisses me off when gays present me with this kind of urban legend about bisexuality, but to find this here posted by a bisexual... :banghead:
Dude, do you know the meaning of "bi erasure"? Ever heard of the Klein scale? If no to either, please educate yourself.
welickit
Jul 19, 2011, 2:49 PM
This is a subject that we have discussed many times here at home over the years. Both of us agree that if something happened to the other, neither of us would have a relationship with someone who wasn't bisexual. We are more than comfortable and open about who and what we are.
As for other women who prefer bi men.....we know as many who enjoy a bi guy as well as those who say it turns them off. Mrs Welickit has been in threesomes with two other bi guys and watched but didn't enjoy it. Her main reason being she felt left out when they got going. She likes having the option of being included as opposed to just watching. She doesn't feel at all threatened by my being bisexual and totally enjoys play time because she is always sure her options are wide open.:flag3:
bubbly
Jul 19, 2011, 2:56 PM
I am straight/monogomous (emotionally at least), hubby is bi/poly. We definitely got a mess going. I got the impression earlier that someone kinda thought the bi/mono combo is just wrong....goes against what bi is all about. I didn't think there was any wrong combo...if it works for you and your partner.... "go for it. "
ErosUrge
Jul 19, 2011, 4:49 PM
the thing I enjoy about your question is that people will use one defination for themselves, and another for other people..... but the trouble there is often the defination they use for other people, invalidates their own sexuality.... and the defination they use for themselves, invalidates others sexualites....
its why I do not define sexuality, cos its too fucking varied to be defined...and pisses off too many people when you try to define it lol
Yes, all that you say is so true. Ultimately, I would rather escape the world of labels and it would be quite wonderful if we all accepted what each other's sexuality is without challenging one another in a matter of fact way as one person did or try to define what it is as I did previously. Whatever it is that works for a person is truly alright by me. And based on a couple of comments made to what I've posted, I saw that it was misunderstood what I meant exactly...(sigh)...I'm not here to tell ANYONE how they should or shouldn't be and I apologize for the offense taken when I indeed did try to define what I thought bisexuality is or isn't. I'm just trying to understand is all. And it's by communicating through this forum that allows all of us to learn from each other. Obviously the only way to learn anything is by keeping open and I am willing to do that. Defining sexuality is not worth having people get irritated as did happen with one comment by someone else here. But I'm not interested in getting into you're wrong and I'm right which is how that person came at me and in fairness he was only responding to my comments defining what is and isn't bisexual...if I am wrong then so be it and it will be revealed for what it is and I will either learn and understand or I won't. Hopefully I would or will and that is my wish...but truly, defining sexuality does piss people off as you pointed out and I don't intend nor want to piss anyone off...thanks for your thoughtful comments.
pepperjack
Jul 19, 2011, 10:29 PM
I found this site by searching "women who like bi men" after a very confusing & disappointing unrequited romantic attraction w/a woman; I assumed rumors about me had played a part in the outcome; I envy u bi couples who have found each other & have such rewarding relationships; with the aforementioned woman, I had no desire for men, only her; when it failed, my desire for men resurfaced and gained momentum, like a train leaving a station;I guess that's why it's called alternative lifestyle.
tristancir
Jul 20, 2011, 2:39 AM
A question I will pose is how is it one claims to be bisexual once they've closed the door to anymore experiences with the same sex and choose to remain monogamous in a relationship with no other activity ever again? Understand, I am not against anyone choosing this. But being bi in the present means that one is still engaged in sexual activity with both sexes.
I think you are entirely wrong on this. Being bi is not defined by what actions we take. It is possible to be bisexual without ever engaging in a sexual act with anyone. Furthermore, a person who has engaged in a sexual act with both sexes is not necessarily bisexual.
It is our intent that defines us.
If being bi, hetero, gay were defined by what acts we performed, then a heterosexual virgin would be an oxymoron.
mrlickmegood
Jul 20, 2011, 2:57 AM
I WISH I HAD A WOMAN THAT WOULD WATCH AND JOIN IN SUCKING ANOTHER MANS COCK. MY X I WATCHED HER SUCK MANY MEN AND IT TURN ME ON , SHE NEW IT, NOW AM FREE I SUCKED MY FRIST COCK AND LOVE IT BIG HARD ON I LOVE WOMEN BUT NOW AND THEN I WANT TO SUCK A COCK I WANT HER THEIR LICKING AND KISING
NjbiGuy01
Jul 20, 2011, 10:39 AM
Bubbly
It is ok for a bisexual to be monogamous but monogamy just doesn't work for some bisexuals....Those bi guys who are comfortable living in a monogomous relationship with a man or a woman are not dealing with the "need" aspect that some other bisexuals seem to experience. It is not just an appreciation of the same sex for some though as it is much more intense than an appreciation. Add to this the possibility of the ebb and flow aspect of need for one gender or the other and it gets complex to deal with.
Wow, then me being married and having a female partner outside of marriage, a male partner outside of marriage, and my wife....where does that put me ?!? lol.
The confusion is: if you are bisexual, presumably that means more than one partner to truly fulfill the need right ? In my case, I am pleased with the wife and family life, but do need male contact from time to time. Would I live with a male partner ? Sure, if not married I would be open to it.
I have a female friend I've known for 32 years (we dated before I met my wife and in hindsight should have married) and we got in touch in the last year or two. We meet a few times a year for dinner and some great sex. She knows I'm bi, and accepts it. We make one another very happy, as my sex life at home is boring, and hers is non-existent.
My male partner is married with children like me, lives in a neighboring town, and we meet a couple of times a month at a hotel for a few hours of male bonding, then we go back to our lives. Neither of us enjoys meeting people or trying to find people online, because of the hassle that it entails and the flakes you run into.
It's so close to perfect in all respects, I'm worried it's too good to be true or last....
tenni
Jul 20, 2011, 12:09 PM
Wow, then me being married and having a female partner outside of marriage, a male partner outside of marriage, and my wife....where does that put me ?!? lol.
The confusion is: if you are bisexual, presumably that means more than one partner to truly fulfill the need right ? In my case, I am pleased with the wife and family life, but do need male contact from time to time. Would I live with a male partner ? Sure, if not married I would be open to it.
I have a female friend I've known for 32 years (we dated before I met my wife and in hindsight should have married) and we got in touch in the last year or two. We meet a few times a year for dinner and some great sex. She knows I'm bi, and accepts it. We make one another very happy, as my sex life at home is boring, and hers is non-existent.
My male partner is married with children like me, lives in a neighboring town, and we meet a couple of times a month at a hotel for a few hours of male bonding, then we go back to our lives. Neither of us enjoys meeting people or trying to find people online, because of the hassle that it entails and the flakes you run into.
It's so close to perfect in all respects, I'm worried it's too good to be true or last....
NjbiGuy01;205162
Where does this above put you? It looks like exactly where you are happiest...:bigrin:
It is very hot and my brain is in heat headache but from what I can determine, you are exactly the type of biguy that I was referring to having a need for both genders. It seems to be more than an appreciation and desire. It seems more in the physical (if not emotional) "NEED" aspect.
A woman who can appreciate, understand, and accept such bi men like NjbiGuy are gems to cherish. As someone above wrote, I've often thought that two bi people together may have a better chance of developing a successful relationship...
csrakate
Jul 20, 2011, 12:19 PM
A woman who can appreciate, understand, and accept such bi men like NjbiGuy are gems to cherish. As someone above wrote, I've often thought that two bi people together may have a better chance of developing a successful relationship...
Just curious....do the wife, gf and bf of NJBIGUY all know about one another?
tenni
Jul 20, 2011, 12:41 PM
Just curious....do the wife, gf and bf of NJBIGUY all know about one another?
Wouldn't that be between him and these people?...... not your business as a monosexual or me as a more poly bisexual. It would be ideal if he could disclose to all involved but NOT our business to judge others on this site.
ErosUrge
Jul 20, 2011, 1:16 PM
I think you are entirely wrong on this. Being bi is not defined by what actions we take. It is possible to be bisexual without ever engaging in a sexual act with anyone. Furthermore, a person who has engaged in a sexual act with both sexes is not necessarily bisexual.
It is our intent that defines us.
If being bi, hetero, gay were defined by what acts we performed, then a heterosexual virgin would be an oxymoron.
Please note my update on all this as I've stated clearly my misgivings, etc...I was posting my thoughts at the time and received many comments as a result of it. Though I might appear to be stagnant in my ideas or thinking, I am open to learning by hearing other's views on sexuality...I certainly don't intend to say I know though I mistakenly made statements that appear to be that way. I thank you too for your input....
Emunahd
Jul 21, 2011, 2:38 AM
I didn't realize until recently that I DO prefer a Bi man. Whatever it is inside that makes them "bi" flows through into their personality and actions and i find it very pleasing.
I am struggling, still, as my BF is Bi but denies being "active" yet I don't think that's the case. I have been very honest and told him that "if he is actively bi that I support him and he would never have to hide it.". He thanked me for the offer, but insists he is not active.
My point is, I see posts here from men who do hide their same sex activities from their partners, for a variety of reasons, so I get it. So while I do prefer a bi partner, I have the feeling that honest bi partners may be hard to come by!!
Realist
Jul 21, 2011, 9:53 AM
Yes, for various reasons, some bisexual, or gay, folks have great difficulty sharing their deepest secrets to anyone...even a trusted lover.
Taboos from childhood often follow us all our lives.
Even though I've always known I was attracted to both sexes and, became introduced to sex at an early age, I've found it difficult to reveal myself to even my most trusted lovers and friends.
Only within the last few years, have I decided to be open and honest with any potential lovers and closest friends. , I feel that there are those who don't need to know, too.
I'm sure that ability is helped, or hindered, by the way we were raised and the environment in which we live.
csrakate
Jul 21, 2011, 10:50 AM
Wouldn't that be between him and these people?...... not your business as a monosexual or me as a more poly bisexual. It would be ideal if he could disclose to all involved but NOT our business to judge others on this site.
I wasn't judging, Tenni.....but asking if, in fact, all involved knew what was going on. Maybe I didn't word my statement correctly. My query was in response to your comment:
"A woman who can appreciate, understand, and accept such bi men like NjbiGuy are gems to cherish."
So I am asking....do the people involved in this situation know everything? If so, I think it's great if such a relationship can exist....I merely want to clarify if it does. If not, it's not my business nor do I judge.
maxtor
Jul 21, 2011, 12:13 PM
i would love to meet a bi woman that wants a bi man. there has been some but none that i was particularly attracted to. i would love to join in on a bi woman's sex as i would love for her to be in on my sex experiences. i am an older man but still verile and love to have sex about everyday. i am new to this area and still looking for a bi man that would like sex on a regular basis. i am a bottom person and love receiving anal sex and sucking cock. my gf dont know yet that i am bi. she does me with a strap on so she should know that i enjoy cock even before i met her i told her that i enjoyed anal sex and have had it before with a toy and she should have put 2+2 and know that i have probably have had real cock before. havent been active lately due to being devoted to her but getting very horny for some real cock.
i have asked her if she has ever wanted to be with a woman and got a somewhat of a no answer but not a real definate no but will keep working and see if she might consent to try. i believe she might if she gets hot and then a woman join in. after she gets hot i dont really think she cares who is on her as long as she approves of the woman. there is a few women that i think she might like but dont know if they are bi or not but have my thinking they might be.
Randypan
Jul 21, 2011, 6:40 PM
My point is, I see posts here from men who do hide their same sex activities from their partners, for a variety of reasons, so I get it. So while I do prefer a bi partner, I have the feeling that honest bi partners may be hard to come by!!
I was at one time one of those who felt the need to hide for a number of reasons. We are raised in a society that openly discourages complete honesty. We are regularly told to be honest and repeatedly when we are, we get slapped down. We learn to tell the truth, but not the whole truth. The price is just too high. With the help of friends and counseling, I now find it intolerable to be less than myself with anyone I'm close to. No more hiding. If the people around me cannot accept that and leave, then good riddance.
Too bad there are not many women out there who prefer bi males. In the 28 years since I allowed myself to follow my feelings, I have not met a single one. A few who "Don't mind" or accept it, but never one who prefers it.
DuckiesDarling
Jul 21, 2011, 11:51 PM
RE post 34 and the quote contained therein..... I put Tenni on ignore for a reason, but thank you so much Kate for quoting that.
Now I'd like to ask Tenni to read his quote and then answer the question "Why the fuck do you do it then?"
AND........before you say you don't, let me remind you that you can't edit your past posts on here after a certain period of time. So please do not think the rest of the site is stupid and doesn't know they can simply go your profile and click read all posts by you and see the entire history of every snipping accusation you leveled at anyone under the name of Tenni.
myschyfnmayhem
Jul 31, 2011, 6:12 PM
My wife prefers Bi men simply for thier open mindedness.
**Peg**
Jul 31, 2011, 7:39 PM
I was at one time one of those who felt the need to hide for a number of reasons. We are raised in a society that openly discourages complete honesty. We are regularly told to be honest and repeatedly when we are, we get slapped down. We learn to tell the truth, but not the whole truth. The price is just too high. With the help of friends and counseling, I now find it intolerable to be less than myself with anyone I'm close to. No more hiding. If the people around me cannot accept that and leave, then good riddance.
Too bad there are not many women out there who prefer bi males. In the 28 years since I allowed myself to follow my feelings, I have not met a single one. A few who "Don't mind" or accept it, but never one who prefers it.
You're living on the wrong coast Randy LOL.
Such an excellent post ! You put into words exactly my feelings about being open and honest. I agree with all your comments, especially the comment about a woman "not minding" if a man is bi. Lukewarm acceptance at best huh?! I revel in bi men. period. And *I* find it intolerable to be less than myself with anyone. period.
Now...I might need to change the title of this thread to : "Are there ANY bi men in Ottawa who prefer women who prefer bi men ? "
I no longer have any close male friends who are NOT bi. In my real life (as opposed to online life) I am hoping to someday have a loving, tight, devoted relationship with one bi man (and his man). My personal experience has been that the bi men I know (here) are more open, HONEST, caring, affectionate, and GIVING than any str8 man I have EVER known.... including the one I was married to for far too long (24 years).
Peg
indenver_indenver
Aug 1, 2011, 9:26 AM
It may seem like a strange question but I am curious. It would seem that a bi woman may prefer a bi male partner. I don't remember ever seeing a female seeking a bi male. Yet there are couples where both are bi. Is it they found each other by chance.
I have found four women who thought that a man sucking the cock of another man was very erotic. The first one I discovered was my wife after we had been married three years. She gradually let me know by telling me a story in Penthouse magazine about a couple having another man join them in bed and the guys sucking each other turned her on.
I had never told her that I had MM sex when I was a teen. From then on our love making always involved MM sex fantasies but she never wanted to see me with another man. She felt it would hurt our feelings for each other.
After our marriage ended I discovered two other women who really thought MM oral sex was very hot. Then I met my current wife who loved sucking cock and really liked that I did too. Over the years she has watched me suck off a half dozen guys and even stroked their cocks as I sucked them. All very hot experiences. And so, yes, there are women out there who really find it sexy that men suck the cocks of other guys.
the sacred night
Aug 1, 2011, 10:36 AM
I have certainly been known to be lukewarm or even not into a guy until I found out he was bi, and then he suddenly became orders of magnitude hotter in my eyes. Even if I don't get to watch him play with other guys, the knowledge that he is secure enough in himself to acknowledge the attraction and tell others about it without worrying that he'll be perceived as feminine, gay, or what have you- that quality is very sexy. Plus, even if he doesn't want to play with other guys with me, nothing stops me from picturing it!
Jobelorocks
Aug 1, 2011, 9:09 PM
I do. But I like seeing guys doing things together. Just like some men like seeing girls doing things together. What can I say, it is super hot.
pepperjack
Aug 2, 2011, 12:51 AM
last three women posting here were amazing! gave me hope.