Shit you really didnt wanna hear....lol

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Stolen from one of my FetLife groups...lol

Shit You Really Don't Like To Hear...

You know those little phrases that send a chill down your spine, and a pit into your stomach...

•Honey we need to talk.
•My period is late.
•Your ex wife called here again.
•I'm sorry your credit card has been declined.
•License and registration please.


You know the deal, so join in and do your thing. :bigrin:
Cat

[look4one]

During a surgery, the surgeon says "Oppsss"

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

lol Yeah thats something you dont really wanna hear...lol
Cat

[Gearbox]

'Promise not to shout, and I'll tell you.'.:eek:

[mikey3000]

"By the way, I'm pos, you ok with that?"

[codybear3]

"That was a cheap imitation, right????"
"That isn't real leather, is it???"
"Bro, I think I fucked up your scooter..." :bigrin::paw::paw:

[dobu1]

Giggling after being glanced at sideways, for any reason.

"Oops" while being driven someplace.

--db :bipride:

[DuckiesDarling]

"You remember how you said not to dent the car...."

[dragon4181]

Is that it??

[DuckiesDarling]

One for the males... "Is it in yet?"

[Long Duck Dong]

I love the LGBT, I am collecting the set....

hold on, this will not hurt a bit.....

I love you but.....

oh course its 9 inches, google it and see

I am 18, that student id is my twin sisters

[fordbob89]

"You remember that piece of chrome down the side of your car......good"

"Huh....I've never seen THAT before.." (said to me by a Doctor in the ER) (It was an xray of a broken shoulder blade with a single perfect line across it where is snap in half but he had me worried until he explained it)

"Just pull your car over there and wait for me" (State trooper at a road block)

"If this root canal doesn't fix your tooth we'll just have to pull it"

"Your last girlfriend may have done it but I don't!"

[sammie19]

A certain little blonde bimbo of your aquaintance after a particularly wild and raunchy but very enjoyable and more than satisfactory couple of hours to her then bf;

"Was that it?"

[Csadv76]

Dan, your Mom called while you were in the shower. I told her you were washing my love juice out of your hair.

[Bisexual Explorer]

Married Son to Father: "My wife and I are moving in with you."
Father to Married Son: "Mom and I want to move in with you."
Wife to Husband(1): "My mother is moving in with us."
Wife to Husband (2): "Jean called for you earlier. You never told me you knew someone named Jean."
g

[Dead Account]

"I might not be able to hit the bottom of a tuna can, but I can definitely hit the sides"

[12voltman59]

Someone close to you comes up to you with a serious look on your face and they say they need to talk to you, but that you had better sit down first.

Another one----at work--you have been hearing the scuttlebutt going around the office that there are going to be some layoffs coming, there are all kinds of people around the offfice you don't know and there are way too many closed door meetings going on--then---either in mass or individually---you are told to go to either a place where lots of you can meet or you go into an office you didn't even know existed and they tell you that you are laid off--effective immediately!!!

Today--here in the states with the "wars" going on----you have someone in your family serving over there and you see a GSA motor pool car parking in front of your house with an officer and a non-com in dress uniforms inside who get out and head up to your doorstep---that is the real gut kicker for far too many folks right now--because they do not have good news for you.

Sorry for some bummer and non-humorous ones--but lots of people right now are getting "oh shit" news like this being delivered to them.

[dog15108]

checsk in the mail and I won't cum in your mouth...hehehe

[ohbimale]

Your wife of 11 years says "I must have gotten the genital herpes from the toilet seat at work" as she is crying and proclaiming her faithfullness.

[Hephaestion]

"My last boyfriend? Oh, he he was a druggy and died of AIDS. But you're alright, you've got the bug anyway, haven't you?"

.

[either190]

OK,but promise not to tell anyone...

[1bimmwis]

It's a free estimate
It's not really debt....it's an investment

[captslaprock]

NO NOT THERE I SAID ON THE FLOOR NOT THE BACK DOOR

[dickhand]

While doing an ER rotation as part of my EMT training , I was helping the ER doc with a patient with a leg wound when seeing something interesting said "Oh wow !" The patient immediately sat bolt upright wondering what had prompted the "Oh wow!" . After that the ER doc told me in no uncertain terms "There are two things you don't say in an ER setting , the first is OH WOW and the second is OH SHIT !

[innaminka]

Late teenage daughter to mother. (And this is real!!)

"Mum, my mobile's out of credit. can I use yours.......... :eek:

[12voltman59]

Your mechanic tells you: "We have to replace your transmission and oh yeah--that oil leak you had us check---your head gasket is going bad and needs to be replaced."

[StockyAsian]

This happened to me while receiving oral; the sounds of the gag reflex kicking in followed by the sound of someone who's trying not to throw up followed by getting barf all over my groins. It was not a good experience and I hope that it won't ever happen again.

[dobu1]

This happened to me while receiving oral; the sounds of the gag reflex kicking in followed by the sound of someone who's trying not to throw up followed by getting barf all over my groins. It was not a good experience and I hope that it won't ever happen again.

EEW! GROSS!

(On the other hand, I would probably be barfing all over my partners' groin, too, if I wasn't careful...)

--db :bipride:

[StockyAsian]

Yeah, EEW! GROSS! is exactly right.

[Gearbox]

'For the last f**king time - YOUR NOT ADOPTED!!'.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Does that come in an adult size? (After he's dropped his drawers):eek:

Ya know, if ya watered that, it might grow...:bigrin:

Ya want the good news or the bad news? Oh wait, there Isnt any good news...sorry.:tong:

Its going to be a beautiful 75 degrees today....with 200% humidity. ;)

Your buddy after the fact "They dont call her Susie Rottencrotch fer nuthin, Bro. I told you! :rolleyes:

[lizard-lix]

This is more an experience than something you hear, but when the water stops in the shower, just AFTER you lathered up the shampoo and it is 15 outside (well frozen and the freakin' storage tank hit bottom).

And... The boss saying, "Can we talk about that vacation you were planning for next week?"

[Realist]

You're in the military, in a very comfortable state-side job.....however, the services are involved in conflicts all over the world.

Your company commander calls you into his office.

He says, "Sergeant, I'm recommending you for a transfer that will give you an opportunity to excel!"

[drugstore cowboy]

"By the way, I'm pos, you ok with that?"

Why would you not be OK with someone being HIV+ or poz?

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Oh get real, Cowboy...:rolleyes: And btw, this thread was meant to be light-hearted and fun..k?
Cat

[rvegas007]

...we need to talk... I 've heard that one before (mentioned earlier by Cherokee). Those are the 4 words no guy wants to hear because it's always bad. Either you didn't do something or what you did was the wrong thing. No matter what it's always bad news. Heck, my ex-wife even said that and we ended up divorced a month later. It was for the better anyway, I'm happier now...