My next move?...(re. Kim)

[JinJan]

This sounds more dramatic than I mean it, (my next move...), however, it is still a serious decision, on my part. What I mean is, I would like to get to know Kim more, even just as a friend, but I am noticing, that because I am also attracted to her, I am having trouble being "casual" with her, as I would other girl friends, of mine.

I would like to ask her if she would like to get a cup of coffee or something, but I am so afraid of being "rejected"...which is kind of funny...I mean, it is only coffee! But, like I said, my feelings are much more involved with Kim, than any of my regular girlfriends. Plus, she seems like she has a pretty busy life already (including her boyfriend), and I am just not sure that she would even accept my offer...so then, I don't want to put her in an awkward spot, having to say "no", in some fashion, to my offer.

I am probably thinking this out TOO much, huh? I need to try and relax around her, and just be myself...easier said than done, obviously! Anyway...just thoughts here, on what I am thinking. I have to admit...I am STILL thinking about her...it hasn't "gone away"! Thanks for listening, all...JinJan.

[Bisexual Explorer]

I, and I'd bet most of the people on this website, have gone through what you're going through. Maybe the following, none of it profound, will help.

(1) If you don't ask her, you've got nothing. If you ask her and she says "no", you are no worse off. If you ask her and she says, "Yes," it's a big step forward.
(2) Allowing the fear of rejection paralyze you is like never driving a car because we are afraid of getting into a crash. Rejection hurts, but a whole lot less than a car crash.

Best of luck,
g

[drugstore cowboy]

You wrote about how this woman has a boyfriend and this makes her off limits.

You're married to a man. She's not going to leave him for you and you should not cheat on your husband or have an affair with this woman.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Girlfriend, youre just setting yourself up for a Major disappointment, why cause yourself all that grief? I know for a fact that infatuations are so thrilling, arousing, and exciting, but in the light of day and reason, thats all they are. Sorry to be so blunt, but thats life. Trying to even be a friend can only lead to some heartache later on down the line. You can Try it and pretend that ytou dont have any feelings for her, or you can watch as she marries her BF, and it breaks your heart even further.
Proceed as you wish Darlin, but for me, I'd be taking steps backwards and distance myself from her before getting hurt even more.
Just my humble :2cents:, Sweetie
Cat