Relationships vs. Sexual Encounters

[Paul B.]

Hi everyone. Just want to to toss out an observation/frustration with our site. I am a largely closeted single bi male & have been on the site for a couple of weeks. It seems that (probably with the notable exception of many of the females) the emphasis is on getting off with whomever ASAP to the detriment of any deeper involvement or relationship building going on. When I first got on the site, anonymously sending private messages complimenting other male members on their equipment was titillating, but that has grown old already. I am no prude, & perhaps I'm offering a sentiment of one who's focus is polyamory-or one who identifies as being bi-poly. Should we perhaps get our heads out of our pants a little & remember to relate to each other as people first & potential sexual partners secondarily?

[slipnslide]

I disagree with your assessment. For me this site has been way more about how bisexuality affects our lives than about finding a hookup.

[fredtyg]

I disagree with your assessment. For me this site has been way more about how bisexuality affects our lives than about finding a hookup.

I agree this site isn't so much about hook ups. Maybe he's just referring to the preponderance of sex oriented posts? I don't know.

While I certainly have posted more than my share of xxx NSA sex type posts, I'd really like to find an actual boyfriend. Someone I could be both sexually and emotionally attached to. I don't know that the few one- nighters I manage to have are all that fulfilling for me.

[Realist]

Everyone is different. I am more inclined to be in a romantic relationship, some want to remain platonic, only. Some want a fuck-buddy, with no emotional attachment. There are cross-dressers, transexuals, and even a few gay males and females.

Just as was brought up in another post, it'd be best to do a comprehensive profile, listing what your wants and needs are........then hope someone will contact you. I was only a member for about a week, mostly looking for a male lover, when my present Gf contacted me because of something I'd written. After she read my profile, she wrote me. We've been together, ever since.

[tvoyemat]

Different strokes...

"Should we perhaps get our heads out of our pants a little & remember to relate to each other as people first & potential sexual partners secondarily?"

Ultimately bisexuality is about sex. Maybe some of us would prefer to focus on that which gives the word its essence, rather than things which many may feel to be peripheral to that.

[bizel]

i'm a romantic. i like to think deep down, if we knew we'd never get hurt, and we knew the person we cared for, cared equally for us, we'd all prefer a relationship over casual. that's in a perfect world. and i think that's why we have so many posts on so many subjects. we have so many issues that hold us back. casual doesn't require all that crossexamining of our own needs and intentions, or any compromise. i couldn't do casual. i'd rather go without. but i can appreciate those that prefer it. i have gf's that do both. if you started off contacting people on this site, mainly because of photos of their 'equipment', i think you sent out the wrong signal. i suggest you start contacting members cos you appreciate their comments on threads. from that you are more likely to develop something more meaningful.

personally, i can appreciate those that have their heads in their pants. i've learnt a lot from them - sometimes it's mindboggling. if we didn't appreciate what's in our pants, we'd be on the 'have a lovely day' site or 'let's solve the world's issues' site, not a site with the word bisexual in it. people here swing both ways, sexually, and mentally. wonderful!

[darkeyes]

Different strokes...

"Should we perhaps get our heads out of our pants a little & remember to relate to each other as people first & potential sexual partners secondarily?"

Ultimately bisexuality is about sex. Maybe some of us would prefer to focus on that which gives the word its essence, rather than things which many may feel to be peripheral to that.

Our sexuality, whatever it happens to be, is about much more then merely sex. It is about how we view the world, and relate to those around us. It helps form our personality and is a fundamental part of our nature. Of course it is about sex, but if that was its only function in our lives, it would be a very poorly thing indeed. Our sexuality is much more than peripheral, and it is much more than the essence of a word, it is so much the essence of ourselves. We may deny it, and we may view it as simply a shallow and trivial part of us, to be sated by a quick suck or fuck up a close, but by denying it, does not mean it is not so.

[taz321]

When I first realized I liked giving head to men I had no interest in a relationship with a man all I wanted was his hard dick in my mouth. Now some twenty years later I seem to be gravitating towards wanting more than just his hard cock in my mouth and a little more conversation and interest in each others lives, don't get me wrong I really really still want that hard dick but I don't mind talking to him a little bit now and possibly having actual feelings for a guy like I have with my gf. I thought I had a guy like that but it turned out he was'nt being upfront about his situation so I had to cut it off with him. a year ago I did'nt care about a guy's situation I just wanted cock, so situations change and I think guy's attitudes about such things change as we get older and maybe we just get tired of chasing cock all the time and like to find someone steady to be with like we have with our female companions.