Taking a break..[advice?]

[judayxlo]

My boyfriend of [almost] one year wants to take a short break.
He says it's not because things are going bad, but because things are going really well.
He says he wants to treat me better, and by not having me for a short while, thinks that it will make him realize that he needs to be better.
However, he says that he still wants to continue hanging out with me and talking to me and such.
He's only doing this because he wants to remember how lonely he was before he met me, because he can't imagine life without me and he wants to actually experience that.
He also says that many of his friends have done this before:: taking a break not from a fight, but just to step back and evaluate their relationships, their lives, and come back from it stronger.

What does everybody think about this?
It happened last night and I'm kind of dying. =[

[Wrenn]

Does he want to see other people during this break? How exactly is it a break if you will both still be seeing each other?

[judayxlo]

He definitely doesn't want to see other people.
He wants to get back together afterwards for sure. [Last night. But what if he changes his mind]
He doesn't know how long it will be.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Good luck with everything Girlfriend. Usually when these words are spoken, "I think we need a break" or "I think we need to see other people" its not a good sign. I hope it all works out for the best. :}
Cat

[Wrenn]

I'm with Cat. I don't particularly like the sound of it either. Of course I have no way of knowing for certain what may truly be on your boyfriend's mind but from my experience wanting a "break" is usually not a good sign for any relationship. Not at your young age especially.

[onewhocares]

I must agree...wanting to take a break could be the sign of something more to come. I would be up front and keep asking questions of him.

Belle

[littlerayofsunshine]

If I may be so bold as to relay my experience. One time I was told "I need a break, its not you, its me, I still want to hang out with you and see how I feel *yadda yadda* and what it actually was.. Was him wanting to play around without guilt of doing it behind my back.

I can't say for sure that is your case or not. You know him better than we do after all this time. But I really hope that it's not what I suspect. If you trust him too the fullest.. Trust him now until you have reason not to.

Sorry I can't be more positive hun.. I do wish you the best.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

He definitely doesn't want to see other people.
He wants to get back together afterwards for sure. [Last night. But what if he changes his mind]
He doesn't know how long it will be.

And he expects you to be there faithfully waiting while he makes up his mind??? How long does he expect you to wait around until he gets his collective ca-ca together?? Sorry hon, but in the words of my generation I think you need to tell him to, "Shit or get off the pot, buster"......
Hey, just my humble opinion.
Cat

[Realist]

I'll tell you one thing: If I loved someone as much as he says he loves you, I would be wanting to be with that person...not get a break from them.

Of course, I can't know what's really in his mind, but the way I look at it, if he loves and respects you, he would want to be with you like you were part of him!

Sorry, sounds fishy to me, too.

[Long Duck Dong]

there is a old saying familiarity breed comtempt......

what he can be saying, could be true.... he wants to remember how valuable you are in life and to him...... its actually something I have done in the past....

what it can be, is a temp stage of depression and while in a relationship, the person can not reconcil their thoughts and feelings so they need to step back from the relationship, in order to work out what the hell is going on......

I know the feeling well, I have a form of premenent depression...and with one relationship I took a break..... 3 weeks later, i ended the relationship, and told her why..... it was another 13 odd years later that I was able to tell her that I had been diagnosised with dysthimia ( perm depression ) and that was the issue all the years ago......

we are still very good friends...and I am very thankful that she understands what happened back then.... and that it was not about playing the field or enjoying the single life.... it was about the fact I was not coping and was not aware that I was not coping.....

so it is possible that there is a legit reason for their actions.... but yes I stand with the others in the thread.... the reason sounds a lil odd to me.....and doesn;t sound like the actions or words of a person that is not coping too well

[rissababynta]

In my own honest opinion...sounds like total horseshit to me.

Makes no sense whatsoever.

Goodluck with whatever happens though. I wish you the best and hope I'm wrong.

[maxxcrash]

I'm with everyone else. Very odd behavior.

[just4mefc]

Used that line a few times when I was younger. Translated it meant "I hope you break up with me so I don't have to break up with you". If she leaves I can say it's her fault. I only wanted a timeout but she didn't love me enough blah blah blah in my case and I suspect his as well simple cowardly behavior. Good luck to you both.

[citystyleguy]

In my own honest opinion...sounds like total horseshit to me.

Makes no sense whatsoever.

Goodluck with whatever happens though. I wish you the best and hope I'm wrong.

amen to the sentiment expressed here! ...i am in with all those that think this nothing but a ploy to dump, or play around while your wait on the sidelines! yep, horseshit!!! :cool:

[bisexual Bill]

It sounds like your BF or now ex BF??? wants to end the relationship but does not know how to break up with you.

He's just using the classic lines that players use so you will still sleep with him and he'll have you thinking that eventually you'll get back together but it will never happen.

You are asking for advice so just dump him. Find another guy or woman.

[Vikkster230]

It seems to me that if he really wanted to make you and a relationship with you a priority, it would be that and he wouldn't be saying these things... I know it hurts to hear that kind of thing, but don't stop living and enjoying yourself while he is "finding himself".

[Flounder1967]

He's only doing this because he wants to remember how lonely he was before he met me, because he can't imagine life without me and he wants to actually experience that. =[

Does he or his family havea history of depression. If so this could be waring sign. If not it's still a warning sign of something. I know I don't like to remember being lonely.

[diB4u]

To the original poster,

I think that this might be heading for trouble, and like others have said it seems odd that when things are going good that he wants to take a break...

Just becareful and i hope he dont hurt you in the process of whatever he is doing.


Good luck and all the best.